Disneyworld advert - not fair...

nzmegs

you know the ad. the one with the parents telling the kids they are off to disneyworld and isn't it great. they get all excited and the parents get tearful and the advert makers ask us when we are going to tell our kids.

Well, most of us can't tell our kids because we can't afford it, in fact we can't afford a holiday of any sort. try telling that to your kids when they are asking why they can't go to disneyworld like their friends and the kids on the telly.

we live in an affluent area and all of my children's friends go on amazing holidays at least every year if not more often. In fact my daughter's friend is going to NZ on holiday this year and I haven't taken my kids even though I was born there!

My daughter asks why we don't earn more (we are self employed and chose these jobs because it gives us family time at home and flexibility to be with our kids). My son has accepted it and says "we will never go to disneyworld so don't bother asking..."I find that so sad.

We have enough money to stay off benefits, we pay our mortgage, we eat well and our kids have lovely birthdays and christmases. Is this enough? No music lessons, swimming lessons, sports, after school clubs or regular new clothes like their friends.

We are both well educated (we could both get well paid jobs) and healthy with a great relationship and most of the time happy, but this type of pressure coming from the television just makes you think that going back to the normal day job might be worth it so we can have the things other families seem to be able to afford...am I right?

pinkpig08

We cannot afford those things either - TBH I just tell myself (rightly or wrongly) that a lot of people can 'afford' it because they slap it on the credit card. Ok, it may not be true but it makes me feel better

Vaila

I must have been the only child that didnt want to go to disneyland,I thought it looked like an overgrown tacky themepark! Venice was always my destination of choice in primary school

Plans_all_plans

Personally I don't think you can put a price on being able to be there for your kids. Good quality, solid family time (that you appear to get from self employed working) is worth its weight in gold, and as your children grow up they'll appreciate it more.

Holidays are not everything: I went to a private school where everyone's parents were in professions and jetting off to the Maldives, skiing, going on numerous holidays every year AND then there was TV advertising to contend with etc. We never had a foreign holiday as a family, but my mum stayed at home and was always there for us. Now as a mother myself, I realise what she did by being there.

Don't find it sad that you can't afford big holidays: focus on what you do for your children INSTEAD of holidays. You will only depress yourself (and in turn, pass this onto your kids) otherwise.

If it really gets you down, then look for better paid work, but to be honest I don't see how having a better holiday is REALLY going to improve your family life. If anything, it could prove more stressful.

Are you defintiely making best use of the money you are earning? Look on all the boards on here on how to cut back and maybe you'll have enough to go on a big hol. Or, you could see if after a few years saving you could afford a big trip and make that your 'family goal' as it were?

ETA: I do think that extra-curricular activities are important for children, so to be honest, if I did have any money spare, I'd be looking to get them at least one activity each to do before I saved for a holiday.

meritaten

ok, you say you live in an affluent area - so my take on this is that the mortgage is eating up most of the money!
I dont know the circumstances - but it sounds to me like you are living in your dream home but finances are tight - and most of the neighbours are considerably better off than you! perhaps you are living a bit beyond your means? I dont mean that in a nasty way - your home and surroundings may well be within your means - but you cant afford what the neighbours can?
you have two options in my view - tell your children that to live in such a nice place you have to forgo trips to disneyland - or sell up and move to a place you can afford and will allow you to give the kids trips to disneyland, santaworld etc. I think that you are trying to give the kids a good home and good surroundings - just be careful that they dont come to think they are ENTITLED to disneyland trips! or they could be on their way to becoming spoiled brats!

Plans_all_plans

I agree arran m, I've never understood the lure of Disneyland and (from a moneysaving point of view) I intend to pass my disdain onto my daughter, haha!

BB1984

I think that what you and your husband have done, in terms of "sacrificing" better money for more family time, is admirable.

My young cousins have, on the surface, a brilliant life. They live in a huge house, in a very affluent area, and their parents take them on amazing holidays during every single school break (even most half terms!) At the age of 8, they've already been to many more countries than I have. They go to a very good private school. They have private music lessons, play tennis, do ballet. They have everything they could ever wish for, and to be fair to them, they're nowhere near as spoil brat-ish as you might expect!

What you don't see, from the outside, is that in order to become wealthy enough to do all of these things, my uncle had to work stupidly long hours in a stressful job in the city. He often didn't see the kids from one day to the next, when they were younger, as he would leave too early in the morning, and they'd be in bed by the time he got back. He was stressed all the time from work, my aunt was stressed all the time from being home alone. They're separated now, so my cousins spend their time flitting between their two houses. Both their parents feel guilty so throw money at the problem. The kids just want to be loved.

Yes, your kids might enjoy going on holiday, but I can guarantee that the love and time you spend on them is worth far far more than any holiday money can buy. They won't look back in 20 years time and resent you for not taking them to Disneyland. What they will remember is that they had two parents who were around when they got home from school, who loved them, spent precious time with them, and who went without certain things so that they could bring up their kids the way they thought was right.

BB

twi1ight

I think you have the right emphasis on life. The advertising is unfair and that's how they suck people in to going.

Trying to get your kids to understand that you sacrifice money for family time is probably the way to go. We never had foreign holidays, big presents, meals out when growing up but it meant my mum was at home until we were all at secondary school. I didn't even know what a ready meal was until I went to tea at a friend's house after school (whose parents both worked long hours). Our parents managed to get us to understand that, yes neighbour A had a sega and tv for Christmas but A's dad worked away mon-fri and was only home at weekends. You could try some planned, free/cheap days out which other families probably don't get to do. You probably don't want to keep saying it out loud but try and get your kids to see that there are things they have that others don't.

vivatifosi

When my husband was studying, he worked part time in the Disney Store, he overheard this conversation at the entrance:

"Dad, is that the entrance to Disneyworld?"
"Yes it is, and they charge admission so we can't go in". Many years on and that still makes me chuckle.

If you want to go to Disney, you could save up and take a car to Paris in the off season, stay at one of the Hotels in Val de France, which is near Disney (you can get a free shuttle bus) but hotels are reasonable. We've done similar - but using cheap Eurostar tickets - and taken a bag of food so we didn't have to splash out at the hotel. Some of the hotels have indoor swimming pools too for things to do away from the theme parks. Yes, it is still expensive to get in, but this is the cheapest way to visit Disney without expensive intercontinental flights. The kids would still get just as much enjoyment out of it.

celyn90

Ahhh.... I was always properly freaked out by the giant mice and would have been too scared to go when I was small!

I wanted to go to see volcanoes, ice flows and dangerous things when I was small - but I picked up those sorts of dreams from reading books, not from watching the TV, so I don't think you can blame the adverts. Kids will always have idea about what they'd like to see in the world be it giant mice or tigers and sharks - I just never told my parents as I knew we would never had been able to afford it.

Not doing foreign holidays as a kid had absolutely no effect on me as an adult and I must admit I never felt any sort of jealousy watching my school friends jet off to sunny climes as noone went to the places I wanted see anyway. I loved our non-foreign holidays as a child (we tended to go camping a lot); it left me with a real love of the outdoors that still influences my travel now I'm older. We never got any say in where we were going on holiday - but were grateful anyways as it was exciting even if it was in the UK! I think the difference was that we did stuff and that was what was fun - even if that stuff was searching for mushrooms, walking through forests, climbing trees, searching for fossils, telling stories by candlelight and swimming in rivers. I always got far more out of this than I ever would have getting sunburnt, bored and techy on a beach somewhere.

I travel a lot now I'm older though, partly for work, partly for family and partly for fun - and I do love it; but I don't once think badly of my parents for not being able to take us away when we were younger.

cel x

red_devil

its the same for adults though. We see cruise holidays etc on tv and think wouldnt that be nice. We know there isnt much chance though you just have to accept what you got. Your health is the most important thing.