Am i entitled or penalised???

Oldernotwiser

sillysue wrote: »

Theres a little word called self respect & my partner would not want to stay at home every day.
Many thanks for the advice.

Shows what little respect he has for rearing his own children then if he thinks that driving a cab is a more important job!

AnxiousMum

sillysue wrote: »

Theres a little word called self respect & my partner would not want to stay at home every day.
Many thanks for the advice.

As someone who has chosen to be a stay at home mum when my children were young and needed me around, and returning to work when daycare not an issue etc., I find your 'self respect' comment highly offensive. Why can a stay at home parent not have 'self respect'?

While we're on it - there is self respect in your home when it comes to not being home to look after the kids, but not when you're looking for help towards £800 of childcare from the taxpayer pot? Remind me.....who had these children? Oh right - you did, not the tax payer.

I think you need to look up the true meaning of self respect hun

sillysue

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Indie_Kid

sillysue wrote: »

The point I was making is that my partner wants to work, maybe its a male thing & he would not want to pack in work in orderto claim more from the state.

He wouldn't be claiming more though - because you'd have no child care costs.

Oldernotwiser

sh1305 wrote: »

He wouldn't be claiming more though - because you'd have no child care costs.

Absolutely correct. By looking after his own children he'd actually be more independent because he'd be claiming less.

ska_lover

sillysue wrote: »

The point I was making is that my partner wants to work, maybe its a male thing & he would not want to pack in work in orderto claim more from the state.
I have no issue with stay at home mums as long as the workers of society arent paying for them to watch daytime tv!

What people are saying sillysue, makes sound financial sense to your situation. If your other half stayed at home rather than went out to work for a pittance, you would actually be SAVING the money you would be paying out for childcare.Your partner earns less than it costs you in childcare. It's a no-brainer really, and people are only trying to help you. Plus you would have the benefits your kids having a great bond with their father.

It would not mean that you are going to be claiming more from the state or anything such.

A stay at home parent is a highly positive role, I did it myself until my son was at school at 4 years old, and it helped develop a fantastic bond that we still share and I will never regret that for a second. Many parents find this a priority, in being there for their children in their first few years of life. I felt happy that he was being properly cared for, instead of brought up by strangers.

Its very rude to come on here asking for help, and then when offered it start accusing stay at home parents of sitting watching tv all day, will make people not want to help you.

In your case, you are not both going to work to earn more money, as it is clear you would be more financially sound if your OH didnt work - sounds like you are going to work to get away from your kids and not for financial reasons at all.
I guess it depends on what your priorities are hey..

AnxiousMum

sillysue wrote: »

The point I was making is that my partner wants to work, maybe its a male thing & he would not want to pack in work in orderto claim more from the state.
I have no issue with stay at home mums as long as the workers of society arent paying for them to watch daytime tv!

Okay - so you had kids, but you're obviously not an instinctively maternal type of person. I understand that. But - there is no need to suggest things like stay at home parents don't have self respect, nor is there any reason to suggest the above - 'stay at home mums ......watch daytime tv!'.

A stay at home parent has a much tougher job than you or I flitting out to work every day. It's the same routine, day in, day out, every hour of the day, being totally responsible for the type of child you raise, ensuring that their emotional, financial, spiritual and educational needs are met on a daily basis.

Not EVERY stay at home mum is a scrounger sitting at home watching Jeremy Kyle while ignoring their kids needs. Majority have been able to raise good well rounded children, and while NOT relying on the taxpayer to pay us, relying on THE OTHER PARENT (you know.....the FAMILY thing comes to mind) to support us during that time. A stay at home mum is not an unemployed bimbo as you suggest, just someone who believes she is doing the best for her kids at that time in their lives.

I'm sorry that you feel so down towards stay at home parents - and that it is beneath your husband - he really does deserve more credit.

Actually, you don't want the taxpayer paying mothers who stay at home, but you don't mind taking up to £800 and in fact feel you're being penalised by not getting it, to pay childcare for your children??? A little contradictory don't you think?

Oldernotwiser

sillysue wrote: »

The point I was making is that my partner wants to work,

Do you or he not consider child rearing to be work?

shellsuit

sillysue wrote: »

The point I was making is that my partner wants to work, maybe its a male thing & he would not want to pack in work in orderto claim more from the state.
I have no issue with stay at home mums as long as the workers of society arent paying for them to watch daytime tv!

My husband works his backside off so that I can stay at home with our little one. I sometimes watch daytime TV. My husband doesn't have a problem with that so why should you?!

If I went back to work, I'd only earn what childcare would cost so there is no point.

And like someone else has said, he wouldn't be claiming more from the state because you wouldn't need to!

I think deep down your husband is on a fair whack and that's the real reason why he won't pack work in, because I don't know any sane person who would work for £2 an hour and make a loss by working every week.

sillysue

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