Freeloading lodger...... Help Needed!

crazy4nath

thankyou all so much youv bin really helpfull. Iv locked the porch and shes only got the front door key so she cant get in. Iv got another friend who needs a bed whos willing to take it the second she leaves and whos also willing 2 stay at the house until she leaves and keep an eye on the place wen wer not there. I text her earlyer and told her shes got 2 weeks 2 settle up or shes out. I cant believe how helpfull you have all been! The problem with me is ill help anyone as much as i can but it just seems shes taking advantage

youluckypanda

I once had a flatmate whose boyfriend thought it was alright to just make himself at home without contributing anything.. "looking for somewhere, honest!" He did however apply for lots of credit using the address. I know how you feel though, I found myself 3 months down the line and not feeling confident enough to do anything about it. But when I realised things of mine were going missing that was the final straw for me. (Add to the fact my ex-flatmate thought this was perfectly alright..so felt a bit more trapped by that.)

But I just told them point blank I wasn't happy with him being in the house any longer and I wanted him out. Not next week, not tomorrow, but right then. I watched him pack up all of his things and showed him to the door. Was so liberating to take back control, it was worth any of the upset I risked causing.

Have to go with what others have said, don't give her any notice to steal anymore of your things. She has already had six months, that is quite enough! Either pack her things and change the locks, or tell her to pack and watch as she does it. Either way you have to protect yourself from her trashing the place or stealing more, these sort of people are leeches.

You can do it OP! Just think about how good it will be to have your house back!

zzzLazyDaisy

I had exactly the same thing happen to me. I gave a young student a home when her mate who she was living with asked her to leave as she was moving her bf in and they wanted the place to herself. It was supposed to be temporary, and I made the ground rules clear before she moved in.

I am disabled and have a live in carer, we are both in our 50's and we both went the extra mile for her.

I charged her £50 a week for everything. In return she ate us out of house and home, stole money, went out wearing my jewellery and shoes, left the bathroom in a state, set the smoke alarm off smoking in her bedroom when she knew that smoking is absolutely not allowed in my house, used my laptop without permission and deleted an important document that I'd been working on for days. She then started pestering to have her bf stay over (after telling us that he has a drug problem and anger management issues........).

One day she announced calmly that she wouldn't be paying rent for the next couple of months as she had money problems, 'but everyone gets behind with their rent from time to time don't they?'

I didn't want her to feel bad or rejected, so I told her she had to leave because I needed her room for my sister who was in the process of breaking up with her husband. After she went I was pestered with anonymous calls on my landline, and persistent texts from a number that I didn't recognise. I also discovered a good gold necklace was missing from my jewellery box.

You have to show this person the door. There is no other way.

Gavin83

I really think the best option is to wait until she returns and tell her she has an hour to pack up her stuff and leave or you will throw it into the street. You can offer to help her pack if you feel you owe her some kindness. Just tell her she is taking the !!!! and you no longer want her in your house. Don't listen to any sob stories and if she gets abusive throw her out there and then. Problem solved.

BitterAndTwisted

crazy4nath wrote: »

. I've got another friend who needs a bed who's willing to take it the second she leaves and who's also willing 2 stay at the house until she leaves and keep an eye on the place when we're not there.


PLEASE do not swap one thieving leach for another. Please. I'm glad that you've got someone sticking around so that she can't steal anything else from you. That must make you feel much more secure.

I text her earlier and told her shes got 2 weeks 2 settle up or shes out. I cant believe how helpful you have all been! The problem with me is ill help anyone as much as i can but it just seems shes taking advantage

It doesn't seem like she's taking advantage, you KNOW she is!. I think you're out of your mind giving her two weeks to make other arrangements. I'd have given her 48 hours maximum.

Krackingtoast

I can't believe people can be so selfish and heartless. I have been in a similar situation, but not half as bad, where I let a so called friend stay in my room whilst I was away. He was desperate for somewhere to live so I compromised and said I'd pay half the rent if he paid half, seeing as I would have to pay rent whilst I was away anyway. When I came back, he'd left the place in an absolute state and I haven't seen him since.
This is the second time someone has "run away" from me after I've been kind enough to help them out (my ex boyfriend kindly left me with a few grand of debt that I was stupid enough to lend him as I had a good credit rating and he didn't - now I don't thanks to him).

It just makes me so :mad:angry:mad: that people will use others like this, especially as we're only trying to help them in the first place. I'm sure you didn't particularly want a stranger living in your house for dirt cheap, but were doing your friend a favour putting up his girlfriend.

Glad you got rid of her anyway, but I'm sure it must still anger you that she got away without paying, grrr.:(

January20

Ballyhoo wrote: »

Presumably she was raised by wolves, given she's behaving so poorly. I'd throw her back to them.

So unfair on wolves! They raise their youngs so much better than that!

scooby088

In all honesty if anyone stole off me i would give them no opportunity to do it again, the black bags would be out and her stuff in them and on the front lawn, locks would be changed. There are a lot of people out there prepared to take the mick prove to yourself that you will take no more.

evespikey

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

what would she have to do before you get brave enough to do something?

This.

Don't think: 'she might be taking advantage'- she IS.
Don't think about doing something- just get on and do it! (that is, kick her out.)

shelley_crow

absolutely don't let her back in, bag her stuff up and chuck it by the front door. don't give her any more chances to steal or cause damage.