Freeloading lodger...... Help Needed!

January20

Why do some people always advise telling lies? If the op is not confident telling the lodger to leave because she is a scrounging thief, how believable will she sound if she is trying to tell porkies?

I would go with packing her stuff and then changing the locks, as I agree with the previous poster who said that if you give her a date to be gone by, you may find some of your belongings gone with her.

You owe this person nothing. Take a deep breath, a couple of friends for moral support and do it.

Pixiechic

I don't always advise telling lies but I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with just throwing someone out on the street. Especially if I didn't know if they had somewhere to go or not. She could be vunerable and I personally wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to her. I couldn't just assume that she had somewhere to go, but that's just me.
I suggested a white lie as the OP is obviously uncomfortable with that kind of confrontation. I quote
'i really want to kick her out but dont have the self confidence to cause confrontation'.
I can understand that. She is a !!!!!!!!!! and it isn't acceptable. Softening the blow to avoid confrontation might be easier for the OP to do.
If she doesn't organise something within the time frame that you state, then I would choose more drastic action. Just my opinion though.

Griizelda

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

You won't ever see that money.

Change the locks tomorrow and put her stuff on the doorstep.

Seriously - what would she have to do before you get brave enough to do something? Think of that thing in your head, and then lower your threshold and do it tomorrow...or today if you have a spare change of lock lying around.

She's no more than a thief! Get rid.

If you give her a date to get out you might find ALL your stuff gone and the house trashed - don't risk it!

My thoughts exactly. Get rid of her now and without notice - she's not your responsibility. Harsh I know, but you can't take any risks.

Plans_all_plans

Well the girl is definitely a cheeky one, but I cannot believe the nerve of your so-called friend!! He should at least have told you he was going to dump her so that you could plan your next step.

vesper

All I can say is that get rid of her as soon as you can!! You will never see that money again, and if you let her stay you are just wasting more money on her. If she wasn't taking you for a ride and was genuinely skint then she would at least help out around the house and do everything within her power to replace the value of her 'rent' with hard work or food or something.
I had a mate that me and my partner offered our spare room to after he split up with his girlfriend (didn't know at the time she had dumped him as he didn't contribute to anything) in return for some money just to cover utilities etc. Instead he stayed in his room all the time (which he trashed), drank cider all day, ate our food, stole from us and never paid us a penny.
In the end we had no choice but to throw him out as it was meant to be temporary and he was still there six months later, all with us paying to keep him. Make sure there is someone with you when you tell them this to avoid any untrue accusations in the future. And whatever also make sure that you are there when she leaves!!! If she has already stollen from you then she will not hestitate to do it as she leaves. This is from experience, as the OH's mate went and nicked a load of stuff off me when he moved out, and we were stupid enough to not be in when he went.
GET RID!

Desperado99

Cara79 wrote: »

Gosh that is not good. I'm afraid ur going to have to kick her out u have no option.what a !!!!!!!!!! indeed. I think u should prob sit her down & say that as she owes xxx amount & that she's split up with ur friend....tell her u cannot afford to help her out. If she argues tell her u know she's been stealing!!

Tell her / remind her it was a temporary thing....

Like another poster said give her a date to move out by & make sure u change the locks.

I agree, but if she's been stealing from you, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving her access to your house after you've told her she needs to leave. (and I would change the locks after she's gone)

lauren_1

What situation is this girl in?

Does she have a job? Is she claiming any benefits such as JSA or Housing benefit?

You could come over all helpful and say that your behind on rent and bills, she already owes you £250 and if she isn't contributing then she has to find a way PDQ! either by getting her the phone number for the job centre or printing off some job application forms

Tell her she has a week in order to get something in place otherwise you HAVE to start looking for a paying lodger (in that week nail down anything of value)

go_cat

Just be careful if you give her notice / a date to leave if she has already stolen from you she has nothing to lose in taking more before she leaves

Agree with changing locks one day don't give her chance to do any more damage

Oh and if you don't feel ready for the confrontation i am sure you can find a big friend who is more than happy to do it

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

It's probably why she had to leave her last place.


Don't concern yourself so, leeches always find a new host without too much trouble.

Ballyhoo

Acquaint her with the realities of life. Door.

Have a sit down and a chat and tell her she's leaving in a week. When she's not gone by then, take a roll of bin bags into her room and start bagging. Make sure you pick out everything that belongs to you. When she gets back and throws a wobbler, point to the pile of stolen possessions you've liberated from along her belongings and give her 15 minutes before the police are called.

Presumably she was raised by wolves, given she's behaving so poorly. I'd throw her back to them.