Freeloading lodger...... Help Needed!

crazy4nath

I have a friend who met a girl who was having problems and needed to move out of where she was living so i offered to put her up for a while. 4 and a half months later she's still there.
i said i would put her up for £50 a week which i thought was pretty cheap. For the first 2 months my friend (who she was with at the time) was paying her rent but then they split up so now he doesnt.
She has not payed anything towards anything since she has moved in, she eats our food and never replaces it, steals things from us (she doent think we know) we have to hide things in the house so she cant use them. she invites people back without asking us, never rinses the bath out after using it and now, to date owes us £250 which i dont think we'll ever see. We cant afford to keep her as well as ouselves. She knows we have NO money but still insists on eating what little food we have, using our things and stealing from us as well as things like leaving plug sockets on etc using electric we cant afford to replace.
i really want to kick her out but dont have the self confidence to cause confrontation.
Its really stressing me out and starting to make me ill, what should i do?

Tropez

Sorry, but you're going to have to overcome your confidence issues and tell her she has to leave.

Browntoa

tell her she needs to go by x date ( not a tenant so technically no notice period) , soon as she goes out on that date change the lock barrel to a new one

http://www.diydoctor.org.uk/projects/changinglockbarrel.htm

JournalGirl

Could your friend help with the difficult conversation. Presumably he had the courage to dump her.

jamsandwhich

Change the locks one day when she is out, pack all her things up and when she knocks give her the news - if she manages to find people to bring back to your house without asking then she must have other people she can stay with?

If it is as black and white as you say (not doubting you but I usually like two sides of a story!) then she deserves no less:)

There_Goes_Trouble

You have 3 choices.

1) Do nothing, nothing changes and this girl continues to take advantage of you.

2) Agree an acceptable amount of rent and she stays - providing she actually pays (including an amount to pay off what she owes you until it is paid in full)

3) Ask her to leave and make sure that she does.

From your post I assume you have a partner or housemate? Perhaps you can enlist their help in finding the courage to speak to her. I would think through what you want to say first and almost practice it a bit, that does help with confidence because you know what to say.

You will have to bite the bullet and dig up some confidence from somewhere I'm afraid though, otherwise you're stuck with option one.

Cara79

Gosh that is not good. I'm afraid ur going to have to kick her out u have no option.what a !!!!!!!!!! indeed. I think u should prob sit her down & say that as she owes xxx amount & that she's split up with ur friend....tell her u cannot afford to help her out. If she argues tell her u know she's been stealing!!

Tell her / remind her it was a temporary thing....

Like another poster said give her a date to move out by & make sure u change the locks.

pixelation

You might have a friend or two at home or work who you can ask to be with you when you ask her to leave.
I'm sure they would be there to support you or speak for you.

Sambucus_Nigra

You won't ever see that money.

Change the locks tomorrow and put her stuff on the doorstep.

Seriously - what would she have to do before you get brave enough to do something? Think of that thing in your head, and then lower your threshold and do it tomorrow...or today if you have a spare change of lock lying around.

She's no more than a thief! Get rid.

If you give her a date to get out you might find ALL your stuff gone and the house trashed - don't risk it!

Pixiechic

Hi,

I can't believe that she has had the brazen cheek to just stay in your house, contribute nothing and use and abuse your hospitality.
I can understand your reluctance to confront her though and if it were me I would try to soften the impact slightly by making the situation sort of, out of my hands.
I would probably fabricate a situation, for example, tell her that your sibling/friend has fallen on hard times and that you feel duty bound to help. Advise that you are unable to afford her upkeep but that your sibling/friend will be moving in and contributing to the bills and rent and therefore you feel that you have no choice but to ask her to leave. Give her a week at most to go.

Good luck

Bloomin_Freezing2

You say 'We' is it you and your partner of you and other housemates? Whoever the 'we' may be i suggest you all sit together and speak to her. Tell her that you helping her out with a place to stay has come to an end. Fib if need be tell her you have a full paying tenant waiting to move in. Personally i think that as she is no longer your friends girlfriend you don't owe her anything, especially by the way she has been taking the mickey out of your generousity.

Don't give her a month to move out, thas far too long, she'll have plenty more time to run up bills. I think if you tell her tomorrow and give her til the weekend to go you are being kind to her. Good luck I hope it goes ok, can't think of anything worse!


Or, you could pack her things leave them on the door step with a not taped to the door telling her to go, pretty much like an eviction note.

You owe her nothing, and as she wasn't a proper tenant you don't have any rules/laws to abide by.

Actually I'd say go for dumping her stuff out the front with a note. If she's happy enough to steal from you right under your nose what will she steal/damage/bills run up etc if you give her a week to leave? She'll clearly be a bit miffed you're kicking her out she might decide to give you a little pay back!