Is there something wrong with me?

jules42

i think you sound lovely , dont change but dont stress either ... if it happens it happens dont let it rule your life xx

Scotty1.7

Thanks for the advice and encouragement there

horseykitty

I would scrap the romantic 'to do' list, relax and keep myself open to possibilities. If you have an ideal of what you want 'love and a relationship' to be like I fear you're in for a disappointment because it doesn't work like that.

FunnySaving

Whilst I agree that there's nothing wrong with wanting all the things you have mentioned in your first post, those are the highs of a relationship - you spend more time cleaning the loo and changing bed sheets than you do holding hands and gazing into each others' eyes and although the romance is undoubtedly pleasurable, a realistic approach to relationships is important if you are going to find someone you can spend your life with.

Having said that, there's no point trying to 'change' to find someone unless you think you can keep it up for your whole life! I'm always a big proponent of 'being yourself' because any relationship based on you keeping your feelings in or holding back on how you feel probably won't last that long.

It sounds as though you're giving yourself plenty of opportunities to meet new people with whom you share an interest, and if you take them up on opportunities to socialise outside the clubs and groups then you will be exposing yourself to a broader range of people. I also think it's important to gain the confidence to strike up a conversation with a stranger - it can be daunting at first, but gets easier the more you do it and it means that any event which features other people has potential. Good luck!

Scotty1.7

Funnysaving, I know there will be lows, and I don't mind that

I think the old saying is what doesn't kill or break you makes you stronger?

I know there not all starlight walks and the nice stuff, and don't just want that. I'd like the whole deal.

People on dating and sites- and in some other places say that If they can't handle me at my worst time, they don't deserve me at my best times.

Cheers for all the advice your all giving me- its better then anything anyone else has said to me ever about this stuff.

Primrose

Gosh, if I were a fellow and heard you uttering words like this, I'd head for the hills. Not wishing to be unkind, but whilst you're perfectly entitled to feel as you do, expressing them out loud to anybody single of the opposite sex would probably scare them to death. Most single people at the moment are probably struggling financially and emotionally to keep themselves afloat without looking for a needy passenger.

Just concentrate on trying to be a kind pleasant person who has a positive looking outlook on life. Join a few local societies, a ramblers group, do some voluntary work for a charity, check with your local library what social groups exist near you. Keep those secret feelings to yourself, especially at the early stage in any new relationship.