Is there something wrong with me?

poet123

I think that the basics of someone who would make good partner/husband are there.

I do think FC has a point though, most women want an equal, not someone who will be needy, that said though the things you speak of are important to many women, and those who say you come across as a bunny boiler, weird etc are probably those who are attracted to the "bad lad" type, and then go on to wonder why they end up broken hearted and abandoned when that bad lad lives up to type.

You sound like someones dream partner in many ways, but take things slowly, dont rush the first stages of any relationship, and if it is right you will have all you spoke of and more.

Take up new hobby, join a club (theatre group, fell walking, rambling, pub quiz team, table tennis/tennis) out yourself out in the social scene, or try internet dating. Good luck.

budgetboo

I've been single for years too. I'd love a serious relationship, partly cos I'm getting a bit long in the tooth and would love another child.

However, I have to say being single so long has FORCED me to build a great support network of friends and made me realise no invidual can honestly be EVERYTHING to another person. I'm only responsible for my own actions, and can never take ownership of another's emotional issues or behavior. You can love someone but loathe their behavior at any given time. These were lessons very hard won for me, and I think as a result I now have a lot more to offer a potential partner that just wasn't there when I was young and pretty.

If I was that miserable being single I'm sure I'd have taken steps to alter my status by now, if you never go on a date you can't expect to be married can you? It's easy to sit on the sofa moaning, but far harder to jon a singles group, try internet dating etc. Only you can decide whether it's worth putting yourself out there.

Sparkle80

Things come along when we least expect them to - after a few disasterous years of dating I met my husband when I had totally given up on men - I think it worked out because I didn't put lots of pressure on myself to make it work.

poorly_scammo

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

I put my heart on my sleave all the time.

Just to echo some of the other posts: this quoted phrase is the problem. I don't know how long into relationships you leave it before coming out with the romantic lines you've expressed in your OP, but if you say these things too soon, your pomme d'amour will probably feel rather hemmed in and be off before you can say "Mr. and Mrs."

You need to find hobbies and take relationships slowly. Make friends with women/men (?) and really get to know them before declaring undying love.

abisum

Some people might find that first post to be rather desperate or strange. For me, I think there is nothing wrong with you other than being a hopeless romantic. Being someone like that and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with could be a problem. I've met many couples who were hopeless romantics where, when the magic is gone, seeks to find said magic elsewhere and ends up in tragedy. When you truly want a lifelong relationship with someone it is not romance that keeps you together it is understanding each other, and genuinely caring about each other. You do not need to have moments to remember that you had a great life with that special someone by your side.

ska_lover

missindecisive wrote: »

op- after reading your post my first thoughts were 'how strange' ! you strike me as desperate for relationship which would make a lot of people run a mile. you seem to have a overly romanticised view of what it would be like to share your life with that special someone. wishing you luck

I totally agree. The opposite sex can smell desperation, and hunny it aint attactive. Take a chill pill and get yourself out there more than you are doing now.

themull1

I think you sound lovely.;)

Scotty1.7

Cheers for words folks- Both positive and very constructive criticism

First off, I'm not desperate and nor do I need a relationship, I won't argue that reading that It looks like and reads like I do. I would however like to have a relationship.

Secondly, I've done the internet dating thing- and to be fair on honest, 9 out of 10 of the people on there will not even say Hi to you if you say Hi to them- Which I see as just plain rude and ignorant. And Although its not very MSE, it has cost me a fair few quid for very little.

Thirdly, I hold these views and look forward to these things happening within a relationship cause they give me hope and something to look towards.

I know it seems abit full on, and i would reassure everyone of you that I don't dive straight into those words- It happens over time.

It just feels a the present minute that everyone one i Know/knew is settling down, getting married/planning the big day. It seem' currently that I am very much the constant third wheel.

I do go to a few different clubs (a reading group/ creative writing group and I'm starting at a photography group soon as well) as well as car clubs I'm in etc.

I understand the comment about keeping my heart close to me, but i struggle with that concept- Yes I may get hurt and upset more then others but I'd rather be that then almost emotionless(and that is in no way a verbal slander of your view)

I will take all you comments on board, and thank you all for you wishes of good luck- Like you all basically say- It'll happen one day.

heretolearn_2

Ah, you sound sweet, not weird, and I say that as a woman who has barely a romantic bone in her body!

It will happen in time, you can't force it and it doesn't turn up when you want it. You can't order love, like ordering a pizza, ok I want this, this and this, and I want it to arrive in 10 minutes. :-)

I found my OH after being single (mostly, well, not in anything serious) for 10 years. And we didn't really tick each other's 'wanted' lists either, it's a case of opposites attracting. I wouldn't have looked at him before that time. You have to be open to all types of people, even the less obvious ones.

A friend of mine has just had her first baby and is getting married this summer, and she didn't find 'the one' until her mid 30s. And she was such a lovely person we couldn't understand why, but she just hadn't met the right person. (it was on match.com eventually, so don't give up on the internet!)

Scotty1.7

I love that anlergy- Its not like ordering Pizza.

Your right it isn't.

Thank you for putting it in a cheery sense.