MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: What's more important - MoneySaving or Santa?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Money Saving Polls
111 replies 18.5K views


  • gem4gem4 Forumite
    332 Posts
    My daughter was told at an early age that Santa had to collect the presents from us sometime before xmas. She accepted this because she sometimes came across 'hidden' pressies, or was sometimes there when I bought stuff. She knew it was me who paid for it all, except for one small 'Santa surprise' which, when it arrived was addressed to her from 'Santa'.

    I kept the belief going until one year when she was 12 and we were out shopping. She finally told me she hadn't believed in Santa for a few years but kept up the pretence because it was a 'fun thing to do with me'.
    I still tell her that if she doesnt behave herself Santa wont come...she's almost 18 now.:rotfl:

    I think often parents buy their kids the sort of things they themselves wished for as a child. Unfortunately my 4 year old grandson already has a tv, playstation, computer....where do you go from there? Whats next?

    I often now just feel like washing my hands of the whole thing and going on holiday somewhere hot until its all blown over. Sadly, the magic has gone for me.
    ;) debt free...yippee :dance:
  • Our family (6 kids keep hanging around the place) have always explained that santa only has so much time. (HE doesn't need money...) But that Playstations and other electronic goodies are very complex to make and take far more TIME to build. Some mummys and daddys want to help out and so they donate to santa's workshop fund. This is so that Santa can save time and send the elves out shopping.

    We prefer to give the 'good' pressies ourseles and santa provides smaller 'handcrafted' stuff. This way we avoid what happenned to one of our friends...

    "Why don't mummy and daddy ever get me anything good?" Said little cherub after receiving a PS2, DS and about 10 games from Santa!!!!! :eek:
  • When my daughter was younger, I got round the problem of being too poor to buy a big present, by telling her that Santa gave children the stockings (that is why they are un-wrapped) but that I got the wrapped up expensive presents.
    This meant if I was poor she understood, and explained how Santa sometimes shopped at Tesco or Asda!
  • nicki_2nicki_2 Forumite
    7.3K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic I've been Money Tipped!
    This year we're strapped for cash as well, the temptation to use our credit card is great BUT I've spoken to my daughter about the fact that we have to give Santa money for the gifts and that this year we're buying pressies from us from charity shops so that someone else benefits from her Christmas pressie. ;) She was very happy with this idea and when I got our ebay boxes out to list things to raise some more money she happily went though her videos/dvds/books/clothes/toys and has contributed to the pile :D

    She still believes in Santa though as he took her scruffy looking dolls house away "to help with a problem with the elves" and she went into school telling all her friends ;) The plan is we'll redecorate the dolls house (using paint testerpots etc we already have in) and maybe even some of the furniture. On Christmas eve we'll set it up infront of the tree and make out it's a big surprise on Christmas morning ;)

    I think the key is to "do" Christmas within you're means. We've halved the budget for all the adults in both families, my brother (14) will get £10, couples will get £10, my partner and I will get £30-50 (depending on ebay sales) as it's from each other and our daughter, including a stocking and our daughter will be getting £75 MAX on pressies and we've told her we'll give her some money to go to the toy sales after Christmas when she might be able to get the thing she REALLY wants for alot less money - I'm reluctant to pay £30 for a piece of MDF thats been painted, then another £10 per set for fairies for it. So I spent £32 on a desk & Chair for her from Ebay :D
    Creeping back in for accountability after falling off the wagon in 2016.
    Need to get back to old style in modern ways, watching the pennies and getting stuff done!
  • for my children santa arrives on dec the 5th and gives them chocolate and money for being good. my mum sends us all dutch treats, chocolate letters etc

    i hate the threat that some parents play of "if your not good, santa won't bring you anything!". why threaten your children with something that is supposed to be magical and good?!!

    having santa arrive on the 5th, breaks up the christmas time and makes it last longer than a couple of days in the holidays.and i like the balance. there is nothing i hate more than wailing children I WANT THAT! and FATHER CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO BRING ME THAT! Parents just don't get thanked, if santa brings the biggest present.

    What goes around - comes around
    give lots and you will always recieve lots
  • Can someone explain to me the benefits of telling your kids that Santa exists?

    You obviously don't have children otherwise you would know the excitment and joy that santa's stockings bring and how good it is for encouraging good behaviour in the lead up to Xmas.

    We had a bit of a problem with Xmas and Santa when our first arrived. OH's family always said that everything came from santa to the extent that they used to remove gift tags from presents. I strongly objected to this. Children need to learn the joy of giving and recieving and should write thank you notes/pictures after christmas and birthdays. For a while, MIL used to send Xmas presents addressed from Santa and I took off the labels and replaced them with a 'love from Granny' tag.

    As a child, we always had small stockings filled with small stocking fillers - not tat but not huge great expensive things. We'd open these first thing then have breakfast followed by mum and dad presents. Other presents were opened later in the day. This meant that Xmas wasn't all over before it had begun. I wanted this for my children too.

    In the end, we compromised and they have small stockings at the end of the bed and everything else is piled under the tree. The story is that people send their gifts to santa for him to deliver when he leaves the stockings.
    jellycat4 wrote:
    Interesting Meher, I decided I would tell my children the truth and never lie to them. This involved tell my DD1 that Dad and I got the pressies and hid them in the cupboard under the stairs. I was pilloried for this by the other Mums but stuck to my guns.

    JC, there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your children the truth, if that is what you want but if anyone chooses to go down that line then please, please ask your children to go along with the myth for the sake of others. If they are able to understand it is not true then they should be able to understand that they should respect the beliefs/fantasies of others and that spoiling the magic is mean. I'm sure you can make them feel special for being party to the big secret and grown up because you trust them to keep it

    I also understand where you are coming from on the lying front but isn't the art of white lies something that children need to learn. I can't believe that you would hurt someones feelings by saying "No, you look bl**!y awful in that outfit" - children need to understand when it is and isn't acceptable to bend the truth.
    7 Angel Bears for LovingHands Autumn Challenge. 10 KYSTGYSES. 3 and 3/4 (ran out of wool) small blanket/large square, 2 premie blankets, 2 Angel Claire Bodywarmers
  • Haven't had time to read the entire thread yet so apologies if this has already been suggested but in the lead up to Xmas any purchases become potential stocking fillers.

    This year, they need new toothbrushes so I will get a novelty one each. DD1 needs a dressing gown so that will go in whilst DD2 needs pants and a new lunchbox. Possibly a box of tissues for the bedside table and some pens for school or some socks. I'll be sending off for some freebies from persil too and noticed that Non-bio powder adds say packs contain a soft toy so I'll stock up on washing powder now. DD2 asked for a school cardigan instead of her sweatshirt so I could get her the next size up and pop that in too. You'd be surprised what can come from santa and still be appreciated by both the children and the bank manager! Cheap hairslides are good too as they need them for school but seem to get lost on a regular basis.

    They will get some fun presents - mainly collected for knock-down prices in the sales - and a few chocs but they will be bulked out with necessities.
    7 Angel Bears for LovingHands Autumn Challenge. 10 KYSTGYSES. 3 and 3/4 (ran out of wool) small blanket/large square, 2 premie blankets, 2 Angel Claire Bodywarmers
  • We live in an extremely affluent area where many of the other children at school DO get everything and anything they ask for from santa at christmas. I have told my children that santa will only deliver presents that the parents agree to. As I would not agree to them having such unnecessary luxury items as an x-box, labelled trainers or helicopter rides to lapland (I kid you not), my children know that these would not be in the sack on christmas morning. When they ask for large items such as bikes I say oh those are things for parents to buy, Father christmas is for fun and surprises, but if you want something big and expensive we have agreed with FC that either your own parents will buy it or you should save up for it yourself out of your own pocket money , that way you will look after it properly, and know it's true value. this is our family stance, other families have a diferent agreement with the Father christmas chap.
    And yes, I loved it as a child and was terribly disappointed when i found out the truth, but as my father pointed out it is only for those that believe. Those in the know don't get santa. I decided to believe til I left home. Double presents, see?
  • My daughter is now 24, when she was younger she totally loved Christmas and Santa, we told her he only provided small presents, because mummy and daddy could afford to get her bigger things. Very often she would ask Mother Christmasd to make her items, ie knee and elbow pads for her, and leg warmers for her my little ponies.
    On her 9th Christmas she had problems with other children at school, she told them all they were wrong Santa did exist. I let her have that last Christmas, but the following summer I took her out and tols her I had a Adult secret which was a good thing and I needed her to help keep it for other little children. She cried and I have never felt so bad, I was glad it was summer.

    The following Christmas she was so good, and joined in, when I spoke to her about this the other day after reading your comments, she felt it was a good way of handling it, she did not feel foolish to her friends and felt grown up telling them.

    I really feel we should let children have their Christmas, but also we should let them know Santa is not there just for big presents.
  • I do not understand why parents want to lie to their children I have 4 children and they have known from the outset that Santa does not exist . If you will lie to them about such a thing when they discover the truth how can you expect them to trust anything else you say. Lying is never right . We teach children to always tell the truth no matter what and yet we are prepared to lie when it suits. Christmas is about truth its not about Santa anyway tell them the Christmas Truth and why we celebrate Christmas. Its a time to give not to expect to get. Encourage them to give by chosing a present to be sent to a person in the developing world , they will get a card to show what the money has bought with a message. Its great. Be brave and stand out against the commercialism that the world wants to push onto your children. If you must lie do not let your children believe the presents came magically from Santa let them know where the money to but the presents has come from and the sacrifice that is made to enable the presents to be bought. That way we will not be encouraging a generation of children who do not understand the value of money .
This discussion has been closed.
Latest News and Guides

Best student bank accounts 2021/22

Incl. free 0% overdrafts and railcards

MSE Guide

Next 50% off sale rumour

Here's what we've found...

MSE Deals