MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: What's more important - MoneySaving or Santa?

pippamannequin

yf1001 wrote:

well,well,well it`s good to see scrooge is alive and well in this forum.

Ive spent £50 between 3 children many years ago, it was heartbreaking, but I managed to afford that only just.

Not because that was what my kids are worth, if I was a millionaire then that would be a defferent story, it was circumstances that made that happen.

What matters is that not your kids open a big sack of expensive presents but that they enjoy the magic of Christmas, leaving the carrot out for Rudolph, the glass of Whisky for Santa, decorations around the house and the anticipation of waiting to wake up on Christmas Morning..

My circumstances meant I couldn't afford much for my kids many years ago, not because I didn't budget, but because sometimes things just happen and you have no money!

My kids are worth far far more than that, and I show them with never ending love. Every day. They repay me with never ending love. Every day.

Now my children are older, they never ask for anything, they never moan about anything, they are just very appreciative kids who respect everything they are given and the fact that they know that they are lucky, even when their friends get twice as much as they do they know that others will get half as much as they do.

As I said in my earlier post, it isnt the fantasy that Santa BOUGHT the presents, its the fantasy that Santa BROUGHT them.

sgiye

well you lot have certainly given me a lot to think about! My son is only 20 months so doesn't know about Santa etc yet. After reading all your posts we've decided to tell him that Mummy and Daddy buy all the presents from https://www.santa.com (dunno if this is a real website lol) and Santa delivers them. But he still has to write Santa a list so he can pick one special present to bring him. As for telling him when Santa is a myth, my hubby still leaves a mince pie and a carrot out. We have had big arguments in the past over Santa and he still insists he brings him the presents, not me!

My childhood was very different. I wasn't told anything so assumed Santa bought and delivered everything. I can remember not getting a toy kitchen one year and i still remind my mum about that. On the other hand, when she had the house repossesed and things were really really tight all i wanted was some ballet shoes and she scrimped and saved to buy me them. Apparently i was happy with them but i can't remember a thing about it!

Christmas is so difficult these days. It's not just a case of not being able to afford something, most of the time they don't make enough of the toys either so it's so difficult to get them. Not just thinking of consoles here, anyone remember Furby's and Buzz Lightyears? I want to give my son a magical time, but i don't want him dissapointed like i was if i can't get hold of a toy, and also at same time, don't want him bullied at school cause he doesn't have the latest things. Been there as well!

The joys of parenthood! lol

Tray
--x--

pippamannequin

This week's Money Moral Dilemma

A family is struggling to make ends meet this Christmas, but their two children aged 6 and 8 are looking forward to Santas presents, especially because 'Santa is giving their friends a playstation/TV/expensive gifts' and as they've been 'good this year' they're expecting them too. So should they explain Santa doesn't exist and they can't afford the toy or go into debt to keep the myth alive?

I think imo that honestly, seriously, there is no need to sacrifice either. the myth can still be kept alive for as long as is possible and moneysaving can continue throughout and forever as needs be.

Lets face it, how does rich Daddy explain to his child why Santa continues to bring his already spoilt child expensive presents whilst poor Daddy still keeps his children happy with less presents, HE doesnt have to justify the fairness of that because children don't question it. The magic of Father Christmas is always alive for as long as we keep it alive for them.

WE as parents hold the responsibility of their happiness in OUR hands..so Santa brought rich kid down the road a PS2, great, rich kid gets better things, so what, the moneysavers kids still got presents off Santa. They dont ask us to explain that do they? so therefor it isnt an issue.

Do what you have to do, spend what you can afford, we love our kids just as much and our kids still love us just the same.

Now, wonder what Santa is bringing me..hmmm

catkins

When I and my two sisters were young our parents had very little money but every Christmas we put a pillow case at the bottom of our beds and every Christmas morning we awoke early and found it full of presents. We got things like a few chocolate coins, a tangerine, a new shiny penny (things I imagine a lot of today's children would turn their noses up at). Although the pillow cases were pretty full I doubt their contents cost a lot BUT we were so excited and happy.

I could never get to sleep easily on Christmas Eve and one year I really could swear I looked out of the window and saw Father Christmas and his reindeers. I certainly was not upset or disappointed when I found out the truth, just as I was not when I found out the tooth fairy was not real!

The most important thing was the feeling of magic, of love and of Christmas being a "special time". I am now in my 50's and still spend Christmas Day with my parents, along with my sisters and their families. After lunch we sit in a circle and open our presents from under the tree. We open them one at a time so that we can all see what the others have got (it takes about 2 hours!). We do not spend a fortune on each other but try and find things we know they will like plus some silly little inexpensive gifts. After the present opening we all play games with the children and even when the children are in bed we play games, often until the early hours of the morning. The tv is never ever switched on on Christmas Day. It is a day for family, for love and for magic. I still love Christmas, still get excited and love opening my presents. I always ask OH to get me silly little surprises, wrap them all separately and put them in some sort of stocking. I would much rather have 10 small presents costing a few pounds than some large gift costing a fortune.

I personally think if more parents stopped spending a fortune in order to buy the latest computer game or whatever and made Christmas a more special magic time it would stop being so commercialised and more people would enjoy it

whosforachat

morpork42 wrote:

You cannot compare a childhood fantasy with religion.

You are correct; religion often continues into adulthood

sluggy1967

whosforachat wrote:

You are correct; religion often continues into adulthood

Religion is based upon an individual's needs for answers to the question of why we are here. I do not believe God exists, but understand man's desire to create God to satisfy his ego:"God created man, it all makes sense".

Santa Claus is pure fiction, and is only ever invented for children who have imaginations which are so fantastic they enjoy the experience. Religion is where the story for some adults continues.

sluggy1967

catkins wrote:

When I and my two sisters were young our parents had very little money but every Christmas we put a pillow case at the bottom of our beds and every Christmas morning we awoke early and found it full of presents. We got things like a few chocolate coins, a tangerine, a new shiny penny (things I imagine a lot of today's children would turn their noses up at). Although the pillow cases were pretty full I doubt their contents cost a lot BUT we were so excited and happy.

I could never get to sleep easily on Christmas Eve and one year I really could swear I looked out of the window and saw Father Christmas and his reindeers. I certainly was not upset or disappointed when I found out the truth, just as I was not when I found out the tooth fairy was not real!

The most important thing was the feeling of magic, of love and of Christmas being a "special time". I am now in my 50's and still spend Christmas Day with my parents, along with my sisters and their families. After lunch we sit in a circle and open our presents from under the tree. We open them one at a time so that we can all see what the others have got (it takes about 2 hours!). We do not spend a fortune on each other but try and find things we know they will like plus some silly little inexpensive gifts. After the present opening we all play games with the children and even when the children are in bed we play games, often until the early hours of the morning. The tv is never ever switched on on Christmas Day. It is a day for family, for love and for magic. I still love Christmas, still get excited and love opening my presents. I always ask OH to get me silly little surprises, wrap them all separately and put them in some sort of stocking. I would much rather have 10 small presents costing a few pounds than some large gift costing a fortune.

I personally think if more parents stopped spending a fortune in order to buy the latest computer game or whatever and made Christmas a more special magic time it would stop being so commercialised and more people would enjoy it

I had to smile when I read this, your experiences of xmas is SO much like mine!!! Even down to having a pillowcase for presents!! We used to sit & take it in turns to open presents to see what each other got (mum, dad & 4 kids) so it used to take forever! & I used to love playing all the silly games like charades. I can't wait until my son is old enough to join in this tradition. I can honestly say that as much as enjoy watching tv I find xmas to be the 1 time of year that nothing interests me on the box!

rubix_76

sluggy1967 wrote:

We used to sit & take it in turns to open presents to see what each other got (mum, dad & 4 kids) so it used to take forever! !

Yes same here, a couple of years ago we started at about 9am and had to stop at about 3pm for christmas dinner, and we still hadn't finished opening presents !! There was 6 of us, and doing one present at a time took a while. My mum does go a bit crazy with silly little presents though, and each one has it's own little story.

sluggy1967 wrote:

& I used to love playing all the silly games like charades. I can't wait until my son is old enough to join in this tradition. I can honestly say that as much as enjoy watching tv I find xmas to be the 1 time of year that nothing interests me on the box!

My Dad was never one for games, although we tried many times to get him to play, although he would end up becoming "banker" so he didn't need to play !!

It used to be a tradition to watch the Queens speech on TV and MAYBE the christmas kids film after, but the speeches tend be quite depressing now and you know what will be in them 3 weeks before christmas as it is in the "sun" newspaper. And we aren't exactly patriotic or anything !!!

Merry Christmas everyone !!!:xmassign: only 33 sleeps to santa !!

*Louise*

Well, my son is 7 and believes in Santa, and I will let him continue until he asks 'The Question'

I have read some posts where people have said that they have never pretended there was a santa and that they wouldn't lie to their kids. I would never consider telling a child at a young age that Santa wasn't real...the first thing they do is go into nursery/school and tell the other children.....it's not fair to spoil the magic for other children.

Santa is part of the magic of childhood...when that fantasy ends, it's time to grow up...and being a grown up lasts for such a long time, why not let childhood last as long as you can?


Also...if I didn't have much money....I would just tell my son that Santa has given out less presents because there are more children in the world, and everything has to be shared out. Not that he would bother....5 parcels or 10...he would appreciate them anyway. It's the excitement...not how much they get.

ravenlighte

Having read all the posts with interest, I had one thought...it is all our fault. Every day we use toys, sweets or crisps to bribe our kids into being good because everyone is looking at us, or because we don't want a scene...children learn to 'expect' at a very young age because we lack in parenting skills. Never have I had a scene in the supermarket because my kids wanted something. They don't even think to ask. I give them my time and attention and save treats for when they have been particularly kind to one another, or helpful to the little one. I also give them one cube of chocolate every day with their lunch, as a matter of routine rather than a bribe.

At Christmas time we have great fun decorating the house and tree, making special cookies...spending time together. They are absolutely bowled over by the fact that Santa thought them special enough to bring gifts. We did tell them from day one that there will come a time when Santa will no longer bring the gifts and that Mummy and Daddy with take over the task. It is about allowing our kids to live in wonder, to enjoy their childhoods and their innocense. The cruel world it out there waiting and I think that the longer we can keep them from it, the better for them.

We also spend time at Christmas talking about children in the world that don't have what we do, and that includes family. We have a clear-out when they choose the old toys that they no longer use, to give away.

It is about the whole package and the learning that comes with it.

Steps down off the soapbox.

Merry Christmas everyone...or if you prefer, happy holidays!