MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: What's more important - MoneySaving or Santa?

Justamum

meher wrote:

A 6 and 8 year old should be age enough to realize that Santa is only a myth. Equally there's no such poverty in this country where a parent cannot afford a humble gift for their little children - if there's a will, then there surely has to be a way.

It's beyond me to understand why people tell lies to little children anyway - if they can understand about Santa, then they should also be able to understand that he's not real but an imaginary figure who wears red costume and appears from the chimeny to give gifts on Christmas eve.

But every child should know of Santa for it's the true Christmas spirit of giving and for absolutely nothing in return.

My I have children aged 10, 7 and 21 months. The two eldest still believe in Santa (and fairies), as do their friends - the youngest is too young to understand. Children grow up quickly these days as it is, so I'm happy to keep the magic going for them as long as they want (and it's the joy on their faces when they know "he's been" that makes Christmas for me). I'm looking forward to a few more years of this with my youngest.

They have expressed a desire for a Playstation/Nintendogs/MP3/Ipod - but I have told them that they will not be getting them and they accept that. This year we wouldn't have been able to buy them anything as we do struggle to make ends meet. I have boxes where I put money aside each week for various things, such as bus fares/presents/after school activities/haircuts/car tax - but unfortunately I have had to keep dipping into the presents box to buy food over the year, so we ended up with nothing in it. My mum gave me money to buy presents for them from her small inheritance from her own mum.

Justamum

yf1001 wrote:

well,well,well it`s good to see scrooge is alive and well in this forum.

honestly i really cannot believe some of these posts from people with young children who are happy to shatter the awe inspiring magic that is christmas!

more than one person has said that when your children find out that you have been telling them lies about santa they will hate you - oh is that right??
another said that £50 is about the right amount to spend on they`re child - really? a whole pound a week is what you`re child is worth in you`re eyes?

i have read through these posts with a tear in my eye,oh how we forget so easily what it is like to see the world through childrens eyes!
i believed in santa from an early age and didn`t find out the truth till i was around 10 years old from someone at school ( i had had my doubts before then ) but i didn`t hate my parents for letting me believe,in fact it was the opposite i thanked them for not telling me the truth,those early christmases were the best and i have the fondest memories of.

i am 37 years old and have 3 children 3,5,14 i am on minimum wage so not a lot of money and my children dont get much throughout the year,only a couple of small presents for birthdays,therefore at christmas i try to push the boat out and make it extra special for them.my two youngest children believe in santa and (i would not have it any other way) my oldest doesn`t but it doesn`t stop him being excited and talking about christmas in the week before.
my wife and i have money problems just like everyone else here so we start buying christmas presents in february and we go without things for ourselves throughout the year ( and i aint joking ive only got two pairs of trousers to my name lol ) but what gets me is the way that christmas is UNcelebrated in so many households ( going by some of the posters in this forum )
do you really think you`re child is happy on christmas day when he/she opens a present to find some cheap & nasty tacky plastic toy?
please dont get me wrong i am totally against the compitition going on in the school playgrounds to see who has the best/most expensive toy but it is very easy to say it`s not the amount spent on the gift it`s the giving that`s important when it is you that has to put you`re hand in you`re pocket to buy it?but a young child doesn`t see it that way.
also i am not religious but i do know the true meaning of christmas in christians eyes and that christmas is more than giving presents.

most of the people who have posted on this site are very good at budgeting for they`re mortgage,gas bill,tv licence etc did you not think about budgeting for a child? to me my children and they`re happiness come before any bill no matter what it is ( hey you only live once,the big companies can fight over my small amount of money when i leave this mortal coil )

i would just like to end by asking anyone who has taken the time to read this rather long post to sit back in the chair you are sitting in and close you`re eyes just for 60 seconds and think back to when you were a young child on christmas morning,look through the eyes of a child again and remember how quickly you grew up and it was all lost!

I completely agree with everything you say (including the fact you have only 2 pairs of trousers to your name - me too!!) We really struggle, but for me without the excitement of my children and the magical feeling they get about it, Christmas would be rather boring. I went off Christmas when I was about 14 and got more and more bored with it as the years went on. If we didn't have children we wouldn't bother at all, but my children have given me a renewed interest in it.

This is the first year that not everything will be coming from FC. Usually all their presents come from him, but this year one each will be labelled from us, and I'm giving them money to buy each other presents (then in the new year I'm starting to give them pocket money so they can use their own money in future!)

Mics_chick

I'm planning on bringing my kids up to believe that Santa brings their presents but Mummy & Daddy send them to him to keep until Christmas.

I would ask everyone who wanted to buy them a present if they minded putting their money together with what we could afford to get the kids what they wanted for Christmas or at the least the best present that we could afford.

If I knew they might be disappointed with their present compared to what their friends are getting I would say that what Santa brings them has got nothing to do with how good they've been but that all good children get a present but it depends on what Mummy and Daddy can afford to send to Santa.

I've had experience of being in debt, managed to pay most of it off only to slip back again - I don't plan on doing it again not even for the sake of my kids...

3KIDSNOMONEY

There is plenty of time for a person to be an adult, with little magic in their lives.

Being a child should be magical and believing in santa and making christmas special makes it magical for them. I won't tell my kids about no santa, my 10 year old suspects but i still 'lie' and say he exists. It isn't a lie that is hurting anyone

rozzid

jellycat40 wrote:

Interesting Meher, I decided I would tell my children the truth and never lie to them. This involved tell my DD1 that Dad and I got the pressies and hid them in the cupboard under the stairs. I was pilloried for this by the other Mums but stuck to my guns.

DD1 went to school and near Xmas when she was 5 came home and said that I was mistaken there was a person called Father Christmas and he delivered the presents in a sleigh etc. I asked her why she thought this and she told me Miss Writer her teacher had told her and I was not a teacher so I probably didn't know. She went on to believe in Santa for the next 5 years in spite of my protestations. Of course DS and DD2 joined ranks with her. With DD3 I did the whole Santa thing and I think this year at 9 she finally knows the truth!

I have spent fortunes on my kids in every year up to this one, This year I have allocated £50 each. I am not going over this.

If I was faced with the dilema I would tell the children that Santa was only bringing small gifts as money is tight and that they are loved and cherished and that they are good not to be greedy. Then I would make a big fuss of them on Christmas day by spending time with them. That way I do not think that at 6 and 8 they would realise they had got less. However the return to school could be tricky when notes on pressies are compared.

Louise

I do not have any children myself, but am a teacher and know how excited children get around Christmas. The problem I have with Santa is that there are so many different cultures and religions in the classroom that it is always safer to stay off the Santa subject as some children's religion does not allow for him. When I have been asked about Santa/Father Christmas by the children I always ask them what they think. I would never upset a child by telling them the 'truth' as to see the little ones faces when they talk about Christmas and what Santa will bring them always makes me smile. I have found that it is usually the older children, the non-believers with younger siblings, who seem to want the large, expensive gifts from Santa and I wonder if they are holding the 'truth' over their parents - if I don't get what I want, I'll tell. It's only my opinion but when I have my own children I'll let the legend continue.

mobomo

Please! Please! Please! Santa (or sanna as it is pronounced) is an Americanism. In this country he IS called Father Christmas. Why do people always follow the "Americanism" of our fine language and the "Americanism" of our way of life. No wonder we are losing our identity. Children (not kids) should not be able to dictate what they get for Christmas as presents. I seem to remember somewhere that the reason for giving was because Jesus was given presents. I don't recall him demanding the bloody awful Bratz (another american touch) dolls or anything else.

lamp

I always knew, even as a little kid, that Santa didn't exist. Because I knew from such a really young age, I never had the desire to go running to the other kids to tell them that. Tell your kids young, and they'll be less likely to disapointed.

I do not have children myself, but on a final note, I don't think I'd let them watch commercial television channels. If they don't know about the latest toys, they're unlikely to either desire them, or get miserable about not getting them

arthur_dent_2

Thank you all for your interesting posts, I have not agreed with everything that has been said but am encouraged by what the majority of people have been saying. As Christmas is down to the individual set (s) of parents there is no right or wrong. I personally hate lying to my children about Father Christmas but I do as it is the done thing. My 5 and 3 year old children are over excited and becoming naughty because of it, but that is just part of it. They will be getting around £30 - £50 worth of presents each as that is all I can afford, which is much, much less than their friends, but they will enjoy it and yes one or two of the smaller ones will be from Father Christmas.

Happy Christmas to all and may you all celebrate within your budgets.

jud!th

reading this post too late! Just wanted to say that we pretended father christmas and it worked great.

We told our three year old that we pretend that father christmas comes down the chimney, and we hang out our stockings so that we can pretend that father christmas puts presents in them. We put out a carrot for the pretend reindeer and some whisky so that we can pretend that father christmas is going to drink it.

She loved it. It was priceless. I'm sure there wasn't any less light in her eyes from knowing that we were all pretending together, and all joining in, than there would have been if we swore blind it was real.

And she'll never ask us why we lied.

guess the only concession we've made is to tell her that we know that it's pretend and that father christmases in shops are lovely men whose job it is to wear costumes and pretend to be father christmas, who we love to visit..
..but you mustn't tell other people because they might not know that it's pretend. But we know.

judith
x

fififofum

when we were old enough we were given the argos catalogue and a pen and paper to write down everything we wanted, we never questioned this - well you didnt back then! OBVIOUSLY this was because that Father Christmas could only shop there. We got some things from the list and if any of us (3 kids) said hey she has more presents than me, my dad would say Father Christmas (then later when we were older "I") has/have spent exactly the same on all of you!