Any Advice Please!!!

Messed_Up_3

Ok heres the deal,

got out a bank loan, don't know how i managed it as i was honest about my wages, being part time, only about 5 k a year or a little more, Cahoot gave me a loan for 5k and a credit card for 500 and an overdraft for a grand, oh fab, got myself in a right mess, its now with collections and solicitors, admittedly i am paying a little each month no where near as much as i should be paying, but i am trying, if my husband finds out then i am in for a bumpy ride, he hates owing money, how is it that the banks can get away with lending this amount of money to people who can't afford, i cant go bancrupt of hubby will find out, i can't do much without him finding out, i want to pay it also as it was my mistake, i owe it and it is up to me to clear it, any advise on how to do this would be great, two of the banks loans are with moorcroft debt rec and one is with heatons llp, please any advice i have not slept properly in over a year...
Messed Up

Mizz_Pink

Hi Messed Up,

You have come to the right place for support and help.

Can you post an SOA see Southern Scousers sticky at the top of the forum page.

Can you earnt any extra money from a part time job or selling things on Ebay ?

I think you need to seriously think about telling hubby, he might be cross but then he might try and help you, you will never know if you dont find out. It will also lift a weight off your shoulders therefore put you in a bettre frame of mind to tackle the debt.

Do you know what the APR's are on your loan and credit card ?

barnaby-bear

Messed_Up wrote:

got out a bank loan, don't know how i managed it as i was honest about my wages, being part time, only about 5 k a year or a little more,

how is it that the banks can get away with lending this amount of money to people who can't afford,

...I guess we should all eat with our hands so the knife manufacturers aren't allowing people who cut themselves to buy knives. Some people on your income could afford it if husband paying the bills, at the end of the day facing up to your spending and managing your own finances part of being a grown-up, do you have metal knives in your kitchen - wouldn't it really annoy you not to be able to buy knives because someone else cut themselves.

It's your fault you are in debt not the banks, face up to it and accept there is a finance problem. Not having a go before the <<<hugs>>> brigade step in - your spending and money management caused problem and is root cause.
I think the best advice I can give is take responsibility for yourself find out what you spent the money on and why.

yung

Welcome to the forum, first of all post an S.O.A then the good folks here can help you. here is an example http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280.

you need to take the courage to talk to your Husband about your problem as he will find out one day.

Messed_Up_3

barnaby-bear wrote:

...I guess we should all eat with our hands so the knife manufacturers aren't allowing people who cut themselves to buy knives. Some people on your income could afford it if husband paying the bills, at the end of the day facing up to your spending and managing your own finances part of being a grown-up, do you have metal knives in your kitchen - wouldn't it really annoy you not to be able to buy knives because someone else cut themselves.

It's your fault you are in debt not the banks, face up to it and accept there is a finance problem. Not having a go before the <<<hugs>>> brigade step in - your spending and money management caused problem and is root cause.
I think the best advice I can give is take responsibility for yourself find out what you spent the money on and why.

Hi Barnaby,

I know it's my fault, this I am not disputing, I know what I spent it on, and I have realised why I was doing it now, I was down, grumpy, and bought the kids things to make myself feel better for not being around for them, and when I was I was a narky cow, I spent to make me feel better, and then realsied that the buzz had gone when the bills came in, I know it is my fault, and I know that I need to sort it out, the frightning thing now is that with my wages I am barely getting by, if I could turn back the clock I would, I cut up every one of my credit cards, and before we moved house I had cleared 3 plus a catolouge bill, however when we moved house I had to take on the food bill, running of my car and little extras for the kids school and stuff, this on 350 a month is a nightmare along with trying to pay the debts also. I haven't bought myself a thing in two years and don't intend to until the debt is clear, I have learnt my lesson I just need advise on the best way to clear the debts, I am trying to find another job, but unfortunatly I daren't leave my current one as it is a guarenteed income towards my debt.
Thanks for your words though, I probably need that bollocking..
Messed UP

jak

Don't panic! You know there is a problem. Talk to your creditors. Go to the cintzens advice, they are really good and confidential. Could you try and talk to your husband? It might not be as bad as you think.
Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

jak

Does your husband realise how much you actually had to pay out for the kids etc. I mean stuff you HAD to get for them shoes etc. ? Maybe you aren't earning enough to cover that and you need more housekeeping money? Just an idea

Messed_Up_3

Mizz_Pink wrote:

Hi Messed Up,

You have come to the right place for support and help.

Can you post an SOA see Southern Scousers sticky at the top of the forum page.

Can you earnt any extra money from a part time job or selling things on Ebay ?

I think you need to seriously think about telling hubby, he might be cross but then he might try and help you, you will never know if you dont find out. It will also lift a weight off your shoulders therefore put you in a bettre frame of mind to tackle the debt.

Do you know what the APR's are on your loan and credit card ?

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - £350
Partners salary - £1,200
Benefits - £156

Total - £1,706

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £850
Council Tax - £89
Gas - £50
Electric - £75
TV License - £10.99
Phone - £15.00
Food - £350
Car Insurance - £29.00
Petrol - £120
Life Insurance £40

Total: £1,628.99

Richard_S

barnaby-bear wrote:

...I guess we should all eat with our hands so the knife manufacturers aren't allowing people who cut themselves to buy knives. Some people on your income could afford it if husband paying the bills, at the end of the day facing up to your spending and managing your own finances part of being a grown-up, do you have metal knives in your kitchen - wouldn't it really annoy you not to be able to buy knives because someone else cut themselves.

It's your fault you are in debt not the banks, face up to it and accept there is a finance problem. Not having a go before the <<<hugs>>> brigade step in - your spending and money management caused problem and is root cause.
I think the best advice I can give is take responsibility for yourself find out what you spent the money on and why.

Very frank response barnaby, must be a blessing to be so completely free of human frailty.

However, in the real world, Messedup does raise a pertinent question, why is it that a publican or barstaff can be prosecuted for selling alcohol to someone who is under the influence, yet financial institutions are free to lend money recklessly without facing prosecution for the misery that they create?

Rich

beer2006

I think you should seriously think about telling him.
If he's on a normal wage, £5k is not that much money. You've made a mistake, but I would think the support and bollocking you will get from him is needed alot more than dealing with this yourself.

Its not a crime to make a mistake and ask your closest person for help.

Messed_Up_3

Jac,

If only I could talk to hubby, it would be a weight off my mind, soft cow sat here crying whilst typing out, yes her realises how expensive kids are and what they need, but does not get the greif off them that I did, hell my daughter hates me at the moment because she has hardly any clothes and gets greif at school because of it, if I tell hubby I know he will leave me, not matter how much he loves me, he has already said that when he found out about the catolouge bill, (Cleared Now)...
The banks dosent even know where I live, I just send them a postal order each month for as much as I can afford and a letter giving them estimated dates of next payments, I am terrified and feel like there is no way out, I just want to curl up, go to sleep and never wake up, maybe the family would be better off without me, I am just a liability for them.