Been a while since I posted something so personal...

faithcecilia

I hope you don't mind this little update. Some of you may remember that 15mths ago I was sent away from the convent where I was a novice. I was as low as I could be, and some wonderful people on here helped me get benefits arranged, helped me get a job, and gave me emptional support while I began therapy to address my past and come to terms with what happened to me. This forum was an absolute Godsend and saved my sanity.

I had hoped to return after a year, but it didn't work out that way. I have worked hard at building my life and have achieved stability, qualified as a fitness instructor and have some good new friends.

However the time has now come when I feel it is time to return to religious life. My old convent are worried I might relapse and don't feel they could take me back yet. I actually now feel that I would worry about being watched too closely for signs of this happening. So I have decided to look at going to another community, and am visiting one this weekend coming. I'm both nervous and excited. They have agreed to see me before contacting my old superiors so that they see how I am rather than hearing who I was first.

This community, in a practical way, could be ideal. They are in London which would make it easier and cheaper (the MSE bit!;)) for my family and most friends to visit, it should also be easier to find a dentist that uses sedation as I had to travel quite some distance from my old convent. The community also has a very good reputation for bringing out the best in people, and have been able to bring a number of people who had 'issues' to solemn profession and beyond, helping them work through their difficulties rather than sending them away because of them.

So I hope you don't mind if I ask for thoughts or prayers (cepending on your own beliefs) over the weekend.

Thanks

jackomdj

wishing you all the best for the weekend.

I remember reading your first posts/thread & how moving it was. I hope that everything goes well for you both immediately & in the future.

brians_daughter

Ceclia, from what you have said so far it sounds PERFECT for you.

You may find being closer to friends and family and KNOWING the convent will support you better than the old one ever could/did/would maybe just the thing you need to start afreash. I too agree with you that going back to the original place may mean ppl have expectations of the person you used to be all those months ago, not the person you have grown into today.

You are always in my prayers ( i think , and pray for you often) but i will ensure you are top of my list this coming few days and nights.

Your posts have helped some people more than you will ever know and i, for one, have found your journey into the woman you have become today to be inspirational. My only hope (from a selfish point of view) is that once you return to your religious life that you will still update us on how you are doing (if possible!)

Plans_all_plans

My own experience of this is that people can try one Order but find the way of life there is not for them (or others in the community feel this way), so later on they have tried a different Order which has suited them better.

Many people have very long and drawn out spiritual journeys to get to where they are meant to be: I believe it is a test of faith and character that is sent in order to help you become the best possible person you can be.

Do you have a spiritual director?

McKneff

Good luck and best wishes FC, I remember your first posts very well,

Glad you have got back on track, bless you and I'll say a silent one for you tonight.

DVardysShadow

faithcecilia wrote: »

However the time has now come when I feel it is time to return to religious life.

FC, you are too much your own person to need a community to have a religious life. If you cannot see that you have had a religious life from joining your previous community to the present, then the religious life is not for you!!!

Your idea of what a religious life should be is actually getting in the way of you having one.

lostinrates

I hope it all works out how you want it to faithcecilia. Good luck.

faithcecilia

DVardysShadow wrote: »

FC, you are too much your own person to need a community to have a religious life. If you cannot see that you have had a religious life from joining your previous community to the present, then the religious life is not for you!!!

Your idea of what a religious life should be is actually getting in the way of you having one.

Religious life is a term used for the way of life of those who live in convents, monasteries, etc. You can of course be religious in any form of life, but a Religious is someone who is consecrated to God in a particular way. Its just one of those terms.

I have tried to live a life of faith, and this is what has allowed me to listen to God speaking to me and discern where he wants me to be and the way of life he has called me to.

faithcecilia

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

My own experience of this is that people can try one Order but find the way of life there is not for them (or others in the community feel this way), so later on they have tried a different Order which has suited them better.

Many people have very long and drawn out spiritual journeys to get to where they are meant to be: I believe it is a test of faith and character that is sent in order to help you become the best possible person you can be.

Do you have a spiritual director?

Yes, I do have a spiritual director.

In my case I am looking to enter another community within the same Order (Carmelite). In the time I have been out I have visited communities from 2 other orders, and this has actually confirmed my belief that I am called to Carmel, even though I was made to feel both welcome and wanted by these communities. Returning to the same order is actually proving more challenging than going somewhere new, as the Prioress's talk to each other and about how I used to be, but I am so certain it is right that I can accept this and believe that God will lead me to the community that is willing to see me as I now am.

Errata

Wishing you well. Put your faith in your God and accept what others decide is His will, whether you feel their decision is the right one or not.

DVardysShadow

faithcecilia wrote: »

... I have tried to live a life of faith, and this is what has allowed me to listen to God speaking to me and discern where he wants me to be and the way of life he has called me to.

You are doing it already.

You know the story of the people who were caught in a flood and went onto the roof of their house? An amphibious vehicle went by and they were asked if they would like to be rescued. But they said 'No, we have faith in God to rescue us'. Then a boat, then a helicopter and each time they said the same thing. Then they were drowned and they asked god why he had not rescued them. And he said, I sent an amphibious vehicle, a boat and a helicopter and you refused them.

Just relax. God has you where he wants you, it is just that you are too blddy minded to accept it. He's got thousands of nuns, hundreds of monks and the rest of it. What is wrong with being a fitness instructor for him?