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Discipline in nurserys

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  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    He's been there since july, i've had no problems all the staff seem really nice and he even has 2 faviourites.
    I spoke to the deputy manager today and asked if he settes when i leave him and she says yes almost instantly, she says some children go through phases like this, especially when they are poorly (he had a cold, it went now its back!)


    :) thats good then

    have you decided what you are going to do ?
  • astonsmummy
    astonsmummy Posts: 14,219 Forumite
    Rachie_B wrote:
    I totally agree lyndsey i have my NNEB too but its true that a lot of people working in day nurseries are on work placement so have no qualifications / are working towards them

    astons mummy,how was the lil fella when you picked him up today ? :)
    He was fine when i picked him up, always is.
    I am going to wait and see what happens with the lady, she wasnt there when i picked him up, it will be near on impossible for me to get him in somewhere else as they want 1 months fees up front, thats like £300+
    I am dubious about childminders unless one was recommended.
    :j Baby boy Number 2, arrived 12th April 2009!:j
  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    He was fine when i picked him up, always is.
    I am going to wait and see what happens with the lady, she wasnt there when i picked him up, it will be near on impossible for me to get him in somewhere else as they want 1 months fees up front, thats like £300+
    I am dubious about childminders unless one was recommended.

    its like any childcare provider,there are good and bad ones :confused:

    You would have to look round lots before making your mind up
  • Crazychik
    Crazychik Posts: 1,994 Forumite
    I know Ive posted before on this topic and just been reading the latest.

    Perhaps some parents do "shout" and occasionaly smack their child. if its within reason to do so. Thats our choice to do so. But like its been mentioned - no professional has the right to this to any other's child/ren. They are trained of what to do in that sort of situation.

    I agree we all can have off days, but thats still no right to behave inappropiately towards a minor who cant defend themselves. They have no right to act that kind of behaviour.

    Im speaking from experience, where my DS of 10yrs was grabbed in the street by a council worker. Fair enough my DS was non to angelic (throwing stones) but the chap still had no right to grab my son, by the scruff of is t-shirt and left the hand print to prove - (the chap also pushed DS friend down the park steps causing her ankle to swell & bruise) I reported this to the council, it was investigated, and later he was sacked. The chap admitted he was out of order - but thats still no excuse. There are means n ways to deal with a situation, violence or shouting is no way to go. I do feel for the chap who lost his job though my sons behaviour. But he should have walked away. Same with the girl in the nursery, she could have handled the situation better. or walked away.

    You have to be really carefull when it comes to other people's children.
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  • astonsmummy
    astonsmummy Posts: 14,219 Forumite
    Well i havent seen her since that day and spud goes to nursery monday to thursday, I assume she has been suspended while they investigate.
    I had someone from social services call me and ask for some info so they are doing things properly i guess, I did feel a bit guilty incase the woman lost her job at first but then i though, well she gets payed to look after children and we all know what they are like, everyone i have spoke to says her behaviour was unacceptable.
    I have a support worker through SS and she has been helping me with alot of things including how to deal with different behaviour of DS properly without the use of shouting so they way i see it is, if i'm being ''trained'' so to speak in how to deal with challengeing behaviour and i as a parent am following this, how can i stand back and let a payed proffessional behave in that way.
    EDIT - My support worker has told me to get in contact with ofsted to let them know what has happened.
    :j Baby boy Number 2, arrived 12th April 2009!:j
  • My son's primary school was like this. My son used to go to a school that didn't believe in shouting at children so when he started his new school and the shouting started he was so petrified he froze on his seat and found it hard to get up. I tried complaining to the school and the headteacher but they refused to accept any responsibility and made out that the children somehow deserved it because children were 'bad'. If I'd behaved like that when I was a Childminder I would have got done for child abuse and sued and rightly so.
  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    glad its being dealt with astonsmummy and yes def get in touch with ofsted

    she was in the wrong end of ! dont feel bad :)
  • hobo28 wrote:
    in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers who will never care for your kids to the same standard as yourself. .

    I would hope they're not! The staff at my daughters nursery are not young girls. They are certainly not low skilled and they're not low paid. If that WERE the case - I wouldn't have taken her there! And actually, I do expect them to care for my daughter to the same standard that I do. I wouldn't expect anything less.

    I would be alarmed if I ever saw one of them shouting at a child. That is not acceptible. Yes, I do shout at my children now and then, but I am not being paid to make them my only priority. I also have to run a household and sometimes the children have to accept that I'm busy. The nursery staff are there simply to attend to the children - they don't take the ironing to work!! So they shouldn't have reason to lose patience with a child.
    Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever - Mahatma Gandhi
  • Hi
    I have just got back from picking DS (2yrs 4mth) up from nursery and am shocked at what i have just seen.
    I was putting DS coat on when i heard a slap and cry, there was a little boy standing by a little girl, i put 2 and 2 together and assumed the little boy had slapped her as i've seen him be a bit rough with other children.
    So then one of the carers asks the little girl what happend, she's about 1 so couldnt tell her anyway, then another little boy pointed at the first boy and was saying him him he hit.
    I started to zip his bag up then heard the carer shout, so much it made me jump, when i looked up she had hold of the little boy by the front of his coat, her knuckles were white she had such a strong grip.
    I was just standing there staringat her, then when she looked up she said in a soft voice, no you shouldnt hit.
    She'd obviously tried to backtrack.
    Anyways, is this standard disipline practice in nurserys?
    I am always led to beleive that shouting doesnt work and shouldnt be done.

    No! I'd be appauled if any nursery nurse treated children like that! I would seriously complain as that is not on!
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • hobo28 wrote:
    Whilst I agree that this sort of behavior is out of order, just bear in mind how many of us smack our own children, shout at them a bit too loudly?

    We all have our off days. I know these are "professionals" but in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers who will never care for your kids to the same standard as yourself. Don't expect them to be anything less than human.

    WHAT?????? Sorry but how can you speak for every day nursery out there??? I'm a nursery nurse, I'm 21 and may be low paid but low skilled is insulting. Nursery nurses work hard to get their qualifications and we do a lot more than just play with the children which parents don't see. Also the fact that quite a few nursery nurses I know have children of their own (Including myself, I have a toddler and another due in january..) I find it actually quite insulting for someone to say we're 'low skilled'. I'm sorry that you've obviously not had good experiences of day nurseries but it's flippant comment like that which give nurseries and their staff a bad name.
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
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