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Discipline in nurserys

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  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    ok
    phoned the nursery manager, and she has asked me to put it all in writing and assured me this is going to be investigated strs its a serious complaint.
    She was quite nice, says she understands it isnt an easy thing for me to do but she is glad i did, and has also assured me this is NOT standard practice an any of the nurseries.
    I am really thinking about taking him out now, its playing on my mind, also the fact that the past few days he hasnt wanted to go in and has sobbed when i left him, i cried my eyes out this morning when i left him i dont think i could do that again.

    :( :lovethoug

    if you hadnt witnessed this happening would you still want to take him out as he is upset ?

    the 2 *might* be connected,no one knows whats going on when you are not there ? :(

    my eldest went to day nursery when he was 16 months ,so i could go to college and he hated it :( really didnt settle at all

    i ended up taking him out after about 6 weeks as it used to break my heart ,and couldnt concentrate knowing he was just next door and unhappy !

    he was fine with a childminder ,different children react differently to differnet childcare settings :confused:


    how long has he been in the nursery ? have you ever had concerns before ?
    has he / is he coming down with something ? he may be feeling abit off and understandably wants his mummy

    does he settle well when you leave ?
  • If you are concerned about your son astonsmummy, I'd take him out.
    I'm a nursery nurse, and I am shocked and appalled at the care some places offer. I worked for a year in one place, and saw 2 members of staff hit children. That is unnacceptable and unforgivable.
    I never once shouted - it isn't nessercary.
    You are a mummy, and you need to follow your gut instincts, chances are its right.
    x
    Stay-at-home, attached Mummy to a 23lb 10oz, 11 month old baby boy.
  • hobo28
    hobo28 Posts: 1,601 Forumite
    Whilst I agree that this sort of behavior is out of order, just bear in mind how many of us smack our own children, shout at them a bit too loudly?

    We all have our off days. I know these are "professionals" but in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers who will never care for your kids to the same standard as yourself. Don't expect them to be anything less than human.
  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    hobo28 wrote:
    Whilst I agree that this sort of behavior is out of order, just bear in mind how many of us smack our own children, shout at them a bit too loudly?

    We all have our off days. I know these are "professionals" but in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers who will never care for your kids to the same standard as yourself. Don't expect them to be anything less than human.


    exactly the reason i would / will never use a day nursery myself again !

    i am an ex nursery nurse and whilst ive come across some fantastic day nurseries they are sadly few and far between from what ive experienced :(

    i would however expect any "human" to look after my child if i was paying them to !! without using excess force and raising of voices !!

    surely its not too much to ask ?!! :confused: :eek:
  • pickle
    pickle Posts: 611 Forumite
    This sounds excessive. I'd definitely complain and I would move my child elsewhere if she stayed. The poor child must have been terrified, imagine if someone as big and tall as her in relation to the child was shouting and grabbing you.
  • hobo28
    hobo28 Posts: 1,601 Forumite
    Rachie_B wrote:
    ......without using excess force and raising of voices !!

    surely its not too much to ask ?!! :confused: :eek:

    No of course not, all I'm saying is that we need to remember that these "professionals" are usually only young adults themselves who's primary aim is to earn enough money to go clubbing on a Fri/Sat. Of course I'm generalising but you get what I mean.

    And as for excess force and raising of voices, how many of us here can claim we've never lost our temper with our kids? As much as I love them, mine drive me bonkers! Its just something to remember thats all. Not saying it justifies it all, but a factor to consider.
  • I know these are "professionals" but in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers

    i think this is wrong yes they are young but anyone who's trained and qualified as an NNEB student knows that its certainly not unskilled. When i did the course we did 5 full days of college in the first year whereas every other course has half days etc and the second year we where in a childcare placement 3 days a week and at college theother 2 days.

    I am not condoneing the behaviour of the supposed 'childcare worker' i think its horrendous but please dont put down a lot of us who worked bloody hard to get our qualification.
    Other women want a boob job. Honey the only silicone i'm interested in is on a 12 cup muffin tray, preferably shaped like little hearts :heart:
  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I totally agree lyndsey i have my NNEB too but its true that a lot of people working in day nurseries are on work placement so have no qualifications / are working towards them

    astons mummy,how was the lil fella when you picked him up today ? :)
  • astonsmummy
    astonsmummy Posts: 14,219 Forumite
    hobo28 wrote:
    Whilst I agree that this sort of behavior is out of order, just bear in mind how many of us smack our own children, shout at them a bit too loudly?

    We all have our off days. I know these are "professionals" but in reality nursery staff are young girls who are low paid, low skilled workers who will never care for your kids to the same standard as yourself. Don't expect them to be anything less than human.
    well if they dont like the job or wages they should get another job!
    I am paying them to look after my child, i dont care if they are the queen of sheba, they have no right to treat a child like that.
    I work in homecare, am underpaid for the work i do but that would not excuse me to shout or manhandle one of our clients, why should i expect any less from a nursery worker?
    This woman was NOT a young girl, she's at least 40.
    It wasnt so much the shouting that disturbed me, it was the fact she had the child by the coat.
    :j Baby boy Number 2, arrived 12th April 2009!:j
  • astonsmummy
    astonsmummy Posts: 14,219 Forumite
    Rachie_B wrote:
    :( :lovethoug

    if you hadnt witnessed this happening would you still want to take him out as he is upset ?

    how long has he been in the nursery ? have you ever had concerns before ?
    has he / is he coming down with something ? he may be feeling abit off and understandably wants his mummy

    does he settle well when you leave ?
    He's been there since july, i've had no problems all the staff seem really nice and he even has 2 faviourites.
    I spoke to the deputy manager today and asked if he settes when i leave him and she says yes almost instantly, she says some children go through phases like this, especially when they are poorly (he had a cold, it went now its back!)
    :j Baby boy Number 2, arrived 12th April 2009!:j
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