Dont Even Know Where To Start .......

jeanniebeanie_2

I won't try to advise in a practical way, it would only come across as patronising when I don't have the expertise. I do feel for you though. Any one of us could be in the position you are in and many are, or worse.

Maybe this is not the correct thing to say, but I believe that the thing that will upset him the most is that you came this far unable to tell him. if you can get across just why you couldn't say something sooner then you will be over the worst. it is easy to say it's only money, but money assumes it's greatest importance when you have none.

I believe that he will cope with the numbers if you work on the trust. I wish you all the very best.

SurreyLass1

Well, its done. I am very grateful for your support the other evening.

I phoned CCCS Tuesday morning, and they were so helpful - they even managed to put me straight through to a debt councellor. They have advised me that the best path for me to take is bankruptcy - whilst that was a shock, it seems about right having done lots of reading since.

I bit the bullet and told my husband everything last night - the hardest thing I have EVER done, but its done. He is shocked, sad, etc, but still here, and I didnt have to sleep on the sofa.

I am now trying to get my head round everything, but I wanted to pop on and say thank you

x

RAS

SurreyLass1 wrote: »

Well, its done. I am very grateful for your support the other evening.

I phoned CCCS Tuesday morning, and they were so helpful - they even managed to put me straight through to a debt councellor. They have advised me that the best path for me to take is bankruptcy - whilst that was a shock, it seems about right having done lots of reading since.

I bit the bullet and told my husband everything last night - the hardest thing I have EVER done, but its done. He is shocked, sad, etc, but still here, and I didnt have to sleep on the sofa.

I am now trying to get my head round everything, but I wanted to pop on and say thank you

x

Glad you found a way forward.

You need to keep telling him how glad you are for his response.

You may want to use the BR and this forum for support and for information about the process.

Do you have any joint accounts at all, bank, anything?

SurreyLass1

Thanks.
I feel so sad. I dont feel like I expected to feel at all.

He has his own account, where he is paid etc, then he pays an amount each month into a joint account, where it then goes out to 2 x pension schemes (one in my name one in his), and an investment plan (in his name), then a few household dd's go out of there too. I am assuming I need to look at changing these dd's over to his own personal account.

RAS

Hi

Before you go BR, you need to remove your name from the joint account. Otherwise your BR affects his credit rating. The DDs can stay where they are. He will need ask the credit agencies to formally dissassociate his credit record from yours.

You need your own basic bank account. The two options are Barclays and the Co-op basic accounts. Small warning, the co-op may not tell you but going OD three times means they close the account.

SurreyLass1

To be honest, it would be better to get rid of the account all together - he would rather just have the account he has had since he was 18, where he gets paid etc - the joint account was set up donkies years ago, when we first moved in together, it seemed like a way of having our own money (if only!) and also paying things jointly rather than paying half and half all the time.

Also, my 2 children have 2 childrens accounts (Natwest Youth Saver and a SAntander saver account) - they were set up in their names, but have my name on them too (at least the Natwest one does) because they were done when they were each weeks old. They have £3k each in their accounts, that was given to them on birth by their grandparents - what happens to this?

RAS

DO ask for extra advice on the joint accounts on the BR forum, as people there have dealt with it often. I do not think there is any risk to them but check them out with folk who know.

thechippy

Well done indeed.....:D

I agree that BR is the route.
Follow the advice given about the joint accounts.

As you have no income, you will not get an IPO, so effectively all your debt will be written off.

You will get an automatic discharge after 12 months (if not a lot sooner in a xase such as yours). This means you are no longer BR, but it will be "recognised" on your credit file for a firther 5 years.

Good luck and post on the BR board. They are a nice lot and will give you loads of support....;)

jeanniebeanie_2

SurreyLass1 wrote: »

Thanks.
I feel so sad. I dont feel like I expected to feel at all.
.

From the tone of your early posts, you have been very distressed.

Sometimes when we are very worried, we play out scenarios in our heads where every possible reaction from the other is played out

The problem is, the other person has never read our 'script' and things rarely play as we imagine. This can leave us feeling almost lost.

You have done a very scary thing. You have finally faced things.

There are practical things to do now and you can work through these together. He will have been very shocked and upset, but it seems he is going to be able to deal with the situation.

There is nothing more to be scared of. Give things time.

Clarie_2

Hi SurreyLass,

Just read this and wanted to add my well done and hugs to the others here. You are a brilliant brave woman for getting to this point:j

My husband had to tell me about the state his business had got into last year - and like your OH I was shocked and sad etc. However I'm really really glad he did, and we faced it together - and with God and our friends and family and a good dollop of MSE we are further out of debt than we could have dreamt of 8 months ago.

So just to encourage you - from here on in it gets better! There is a way out and hope and you will find a solution. Keep on in there, you are doing the right thing!

Massive hugs

Clarie