Dont Even Know Where To Start .......

SurreyLass1

Thank you all for being so kind on non-judgemental.

I do feel better for having admitted it to myself, but no matter how the conversations go in my head, I cant seem to see how I am going to tell him. I knowI have to, and I will, but that doesnt stop it from being hellishly scary. I am also scared of talking to CCCS - despite everyone saying how helpful they are.

God, what a girl - I have never thought of myself as a scared-y cat, but I have been running away for years havent I?

SHELLSHOCK

Hi SurreyLass1

Couldn't just read and run. Please don't beat yourself up over this, we have all got ourselves into a mess and need help getting out of it.

Most of my CC were used buying food, clothes for the kids and things for the family. Think my OH as under the impression that these things just appeared!! LOL!

Big hug to you and keep in touch x

dancingfairy

I am assuming that it kind of snowballed - it started small and was handleable just then it got bigger and you somehow managed and then it got bigger and bigger and all the time you wanted to tell your OH but scared about how long you'd left it..... etc
I also guess that some of it may have gone of things for the kids? things for the husband? household bits and bobs perhaps which might make things easier to explain. It must be hard having your own income and then ending up at home to look after the kids - perhaps having to ask your husband for money for the bills? were you locked into a previous lifestyle you had when you had a job?
O.K none of these things will chance the facts but it might help you straighten things up in your mind a little.
Do the CCCS thing online and see what it suggests - the biggest problem is if you have no income then it will be hard to pay the debts off so bankruptcy may be an option for you but you'll have to see.
df

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, just wanted to add to the mutual support coming your way. I found that it does make you feel a bit better knowing you are not on your own and are not the only one in this situation.

A few years ago I had to come clean to OH about my debts. He knew I had debt, but not how much. It was awful but such a relief when it was done. I bet your OH knows something is wrong, he may be thinking its something worse than money.

I often have moments where I think how much better life would be now if I hadnt wasted so much money when I was younger but it really doesnt help. There will be a way forward for you, you just need to find it.

Good luck.

SurreyLass1

Thankyou.

It just hurts me so much to know I am going to hurt him. I would be devastated to have a bombshell like that dropped on me.

Superbiatch

You've really got to stop beating yourself up about this, its time to get practical. The hardest thing is admitting to yourself you are in trouble and can't manage anymore - believe me I know, this happened to me two months ago. I had to admit to my parents (at 33!) that I couldn't cope anymore and needed them to bail me out (I earn more than my father!). Your other half will be angry with you, he might shout or even throw a plate at the wall. But once the initial shock is over and done with, he'll calm down and you can work on a rational solution then.

First things first, don't reach for the bottle (been there done that!), go to bed knowing you have gotten over the first hurdle - admitting you have a problem you need help with. Contact CCCS, I used the CAB but they are all very non-judgemental and will help you come up with a manageable solution.

Good luck tomorrow and keep us updated, I'll guarantee in a month you will be feeling much more positive

SB x

saorsie

Hi SurreyLass ~ didn't want to just read and run without giving you one of our 'infamous' huggles (((surreyLass)))

Martin is often quoted as saying that he has never seen a debt problem that cannot be solved and yours will be solvable ~ it will take time, your life will be altered by the experience and you have made the first, second and third move already by acknowledging that there's a problem, doing some homework (more to do but you've made a start) and realising that you can no longer cope with it on your own.

If you get a moment esp when the forum goes a bit quiet, take some time to read some of the threads and the diaries on the Debtfreewannabee boards. There you will find stories of people just like yourself, frightened of telling their partners, unable to grasp how it's got so bad etc etc so you will know you are not alone. You will also read of peoples journeys towards becoming debt free and some are so inspirational, I guarantee that you will feel empowered even though you are in a bleak place yourself at the moment.

Please take care of yourself, look after your family and try not to reach for that wine bottle ~ tempting though it is {and believe me I know} it is probably not the answer at the moment for you.

Wishing you well as your start your Debt free journey SurreyLass

-s- x

*KT*

just dropping in to give hugs too. xox

Yargo1

Hi, good luck with finding out the best options etc tomorrow. just want to say what everyone else has said.. we are all in same if not similar boats so dont feel you are on your own. x

cattyboo

Hi SurryLass1,

Didn't want to read and run, please stop beating yourself up hun there's really no reason to. You're not the first to get into a debt dilemma and you wont be the last, it's a massive step to have accepted the truth of your situation and come here for some help (and hugs :grouphug:, plenty more where that came from!)

I hope you feel better after talking to the CCCS and your OH. It's so easy to stick your head in the sand but so much better, and braver, to tell the truth and open yourself up to the help you need to get through this difficult patch.

Your husband may well be shocked but I'm sure once he's had time to digest the information it will all be totally fine! You'll feel like the weight of the world is off your shoulders and you'll have someone to hold your hand when you need it. In the meantime we'll be here, stay strong love we're all thinking of you

C xx