Buying Presents & Pretending They Are From Family

saving-grace

How do you get round the thank-you letter letter issue? My kids understand that they must write or phone and say thank-you for any gifts given to them.

funky-footprints

good point saving -grace !!!!

beachbeth

I think you are right in how you have explained things to your children, Specsappeal. You have explained the situation to them as well as letting them make their own decision about it. Too many adults think that their young children can't cope with the truth whereas in fact they can if its explained properly to them. I can remember as a young child my parents fobbing me off because they didn't want to explain something to me and I knew they were doing this. It doesn't take long before a child picks up on the fact that you are covering up and the trouble with this is that it then makes the child wonder what else you have been lying about.

lil_me

I have an ignorant MIL who doesn't buy for the boys Xmas or birthdays, not even a card (can afford it and spends a lot on friends etc) and I have given up being nice and pretending. Not doing it any more. Not going to try to paint her as something she isn't.

LopezLopez

I think that the actual not receiving presents from family is not even the main issue, but the lack of contact; the fact that they don't seem to care. I think any children would prefer genuine quality interaction with people who love them rather than never seeing their family but 'receiving' presents from them.

lil_me

Couldn't agree more Lopez, and she doesn't make an effort with them, so I see no reason to cover for her and pretend.

karren

saving-grace wrote:

How do you get round the thank-you letter letter issue? My kids understand that they must write or phone and say thank-you for any gifts given to them.

Glad I'm not the only one who makes the childrentdo cards etc to say thank you, but have to say not many other frieinds bother these days, and as for spending a lot on a wedding present etc and not getting even a thank you, or am i the strange one?

Katyag

karren wrote:

Glad I'm not the only one who makes the childrentdo cards etc to say thank you, but have to say not many other frieinds bother these days, and as for spending a lot on a wedding present etc and not getting even a thank you, or am i the strange one?

I agree, it infuriates me when people dont say thanks for a gift, esp when its a big one like a wedding or new baby stuff. We were always brought up to write thank you notes and did for all my wedding gifts, all our sons gifts when he was born, all his christening gifts and his 1st birthday. Now he is older he either says thank you on the phone or we send his drawings to people far away or emails with a video clip attached.

tifnstav

I think its pretty inexcusable to not say thank you for a wedding gift - weddings can cost the average couple over £100.

Fair enough we're sharing your "special day" and traipsing half way round the country to stay at a castle and also buying you a gift that you should already have, seeing as you've lived together for 17 years, but a small email or note wouldn't go amiss!

grrr, and breathe.....

Acc72

My problem is the opposite !! .....

Due to a fall-out with my sister I never / rarely see my nephew (age 8) or neice (age 3).

We buy them lots of Christmas and Birthday presents but never even receive an acknowledgment / thanks.

Earlier this year I received a birthday card from my nephew and neice (not my sister), but earlier this week it was girlfreinds (of 8 years) birthday and we were both upset that she didn't receive a card.

(ps - when I say WE buy presents - in reality it is actually my girlfreind who chooses and buys the presents).

We haver already bought presents for this year - but it is getting difficult as I am afraid we do not really know what they like / dislike or even what size clothes to buy.

We were thinking after this year to send cards and vouchers - is this mean ?

The last thing I want to do is something that will upset the children or make them think we don't care.

On the other hand we don't want to keep buying presents that they may not want.

Any advice ?? ......