CSA non biological father

Lilybeth

Thanks for your answers , and just to add the pro's and con's part i feel i have explained i do and will continue to support my children i just feel by experience if i have to continue with the CSA i wont be able to afford to buy and do all the other things therefore thats where the kids will suffer.

Loopy_Girl

As Sou has pointed out, as you are deemed the NRP then your CSA liability will stand - nothing can change that.

Perhaps you need to look at the other 'bits' i.e supporting your ex and withdrawing it.

I know what you are saying about the kids suffer etc but if you can show that he is not coping then it may stand in your favour to get more care and become the PWC.

He is controlling you via the kids and you need to put a stop to it. I have no idea how old the kids are but if you have split up 10 years then I am guessing older than that.

If you can't do it all - then don't. Don't let him walk all over you...if he chooses to neglect his kids when you aren't supporting him then he needs to deal with the consequences.

Lilybeth

JoanneNotts - Thank you so much for listening to the bits inbetween and hearing what i have been trying to get across yes they are and have been at school for a few years now and yes meal ticket is the word i would use its been a constant struggle and my heart is more for the kids in it all - joint custody is a nightmare indeed .. thank you again for saying what i have been feeling for years

Soubrette

Deleted_User wrote: »

I see exactly where you are coming from. Your children will not suffer as you will continue to provide clothing shoes etc when they stay with you, but you won't have to pay the premium to the CSA which your Ex is not spending on the kids anyway. Yes I say go for it, if he's a lazy git who can't be bothered to get off his !!!! and get a job but would rather use your kids as a meal ticket then why should you make it easy for him? Why is nobody having a go about him not working, you have been seoperated 10 Years, your kids are obviously at School so what's his excuse? Joint custody is so messy, when your kids are over 12 consider going back to court as the kids have a say then who they live with :-)

Because he hasn't posted so having a go is pointless.

Very good point about the children being over 12. If the situation is as described then I'd be doing exactly as you suggest.

skibadee

OP.....Could you not have full custody of your children and give their dad regular contact instead, that way you would recieve the CB etc.,..?

Soubrette

skibadee wrote: »

OP.....Could you not have full custody of your children and give their dad regular contact instead, that way you would recieve the CB etc.,..?

The PWC apparently sees the children as a meal ticket and so won't agree to this.

They have been to court several times but the judge still gives 50/50 shared care.

Loopy_Girl

Well it can't be IS he is on so it must be JSA....or some sickness benefit. You have already said he won't work (see, we all read too!) so what's the point in moaning to you about what he won't do? Surely answering your questions is more important?

But I thought the issue was your problems...and not him?

[Deleted User]

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

And your kids spend 50% of their time with him?

Lovely

Loopy girl all you ever do is come on here and make unfounded moral judgements about people!! If you can't offer people advice which is what the forum is about then get a life or a hobby that does not involve the internet....

Wiggine, I totally sympathise with your situation. I could write in great length about a case I am aware of where a guy went for joint custody simply for spite, he won. The children are not washed, the house is a mess, he never cooks a meal. He says it's o.k they get a bath when at there Mum's and have School dinner so it's o.k to just give them toast for tea. He sits in his office working from home and said kids are in front of the television. He paid her ex boyfriends lots of money to stand in court and say untruths about the Mother....Social Services....don't even get me started....

So I for one will not make any moral judgements as I know what a twisted World we live in and some people have to live in horrible situations they have no control over.

Have a 2nd Family with your new Husband and be happy, live is so very short :T

Lilybeth

Loopy girl - i take your points on board i know it would be the right thing to do but i cant see the kids go without, again there are stories to go with this answer and trust me my mum and sister say the same as you have just said.

this has become abit more then the intial question i posted so thanks for your reponses and advice.

Loopy_Girl

Deleted_User wrote: »

I see exactly where you are coming from. Your children will not suffer as you will continue to provide clothing shoes etc when they stay with you,

From what exactly? The household income is going to reduce drastically and then there is the new baby to pay for....

things won't 'stay the same' if she gave up work....it's basic maths that things would have to change.

The OP may not pay CS but I can't see her having the balls to stop bailing him out too.