CSA non biological father

Soubrette

!!!!!! wrote: »

I understood that in a shared care scenario then the parent claiming child benefit (regardless of the reason) is classed as the PWC. Therefore in this situation the OP is the NRP.

[cynical mode]
But being female then she will not be hauled over the coals the same way that a male NRP would for suggesting giving up work to get out of paying maintenance
[/cynical mode]

What does being female have to do with it?

I can only repeat what I've said before, there seems to be confusion as to who is the actual NRP and PWC. Yes, we know that the person with child benefit is deemed the PWC but there seems to be a hint in the OP that actually the ex partner only gets it because they want the money and attached benefits of getting that particular benefit rather than they actually entitled to it. This could be factually true or just bitterness from the OP - I don't know.

For any useful advice, then that discrepancy needs to be cleared up - do the children live mostly at the ex partners house ie 4 nights or more. Or do they leave mostly at the OPs house ie 4 nights or more there.

Depending on the answer, the advice will be very different.

Soubrette

!!!!!! wrote: »

That is all that counts at the moment. . At the moment PWC is determined by who gets the Child Benefit. Until she gets that changed there is nothing that she can do.

All she can hopefully do at the moment is get a re-assessment based on the care split.

If the ex-partner is getting the child benefit but is not entitled to it then the OP should also be dealing with this as well as the shared care aspect.

Of topic slightly but it makes me wonder what the CSA would do if an NRP had care for 4/7 nights.

Lilybeth

firstly i have not come on here to be judged its a long story of 3 times round the justice system me paying 20,000 in court fees father getting legal aid i pay for everything for my children and pay the csa the csa told me as i have them some weeks 3 nights therefore he has 4 and other weeks i have 4 and he has 3 you cant get much more split down the middle unless you where doing week on week of which i feel is not good for the children.

The csa told me cos he is on benefits and i work i am basically subsidising his benefits whether this is right or not i dont know. I have been married now 3 years and we are planning on having a baby i was hoping not to go back to work this is why i am asking the question.

i cant just stop doing all the other things like buying there shoes clothes trainers coats uniform school trips and as many parents know many other things otherwise they would go without as the father does not buy them clothes or anything else to that matter, i have never wanted to take anything of the father hence the shared care and yes cos he gets the benefits (he only gets it cos when we where together i had the CB going into his account to cover water rates etc .. when i left him he refused to sign if it back to my name)so because of this he is deemed PWC but by no means am i an absent parent i am just hard working and trying to show my kids the same ethic in life.

please let me know if i havent answered any questions and i will gladly fill in any blanks

Soubrette

If it is genuinely 50/50 and your ex-partner gets the child benefit then he is deemed the PWC and you are the NRP, as such you have a responsibility to pay child support to him.

If you give up work and have no income then certainly on CSA2 you will have no child support to pay - I personally know two NRPs who have done that - one is a househusband and one gives up his job as soon as the CSA track him down. However neither pay anything extra to their children either.

However, are you saying that you buy all your children's clothes, that when they go to the PWC's house, you provide packed lunches because he does not provide food? They never shower or having the heating on there? They have no bedding, books or hobbies there? He never takes them out?

It is a shame that shared care is not recognised by the CSA (or if you want to register them with a GP etc) but equally it might be easier for you if you at least acknowledge that it is extremely unlikely that your ex-partner spends not one penny on his children and btw if that was in fact the case, and it were my ex partner then I'd be going to court for full care as it would be tantamount to child abuse.

Loopy_Girl

So if you support the children - but are planning on giving up work and indeed having a baby which will stretch the finances even further - how will they be supported?

Are you not punishing the children by trying to get back at your ex?

Lilybeth

Soubrette cleaerly you are a woman scorned in some way or another because you are being facetious btw i do buy all the clothing shoes trainers coats and the like for BOTH houses yes you are correct, clearly doing a pack lunch (although up till december last year i was taking a pack lunch for school every day even the days they where going from there fathers as even when they where staying at there dads i did the school run even though he can drive and did have a car)..... he must feed them yes your correct but i again every other month have to do a shop for him as he tells me he has not got any food for them, with respect Soubrette you clearly need to step aside and see each persons case as individual rather then packing everyone that isnt in the legal eyes PWC ofinto a little box.

i have reported what i see as neglect as in the cleanliness but actually if you speak to the social services this is not actually seen as neglect and because i do all of the above and then more i am GLAD to say they ok.

oh and to add you are also correct in the fact he doesnt ever take them out that is down to me and my husband we do that as he wont take them anywhere as apparently he hasnt got any money but lets face it a trip to the park is more effort then expence would you agree?

Now i come onto this site to see where i stand i dont want to be lining his pockets for his gambling i would sooner see it spent on the children along with ALL the many benefits he gets he should be able to budget and pay all his bills more than comfortably. so rest assured he is in no way going without. i cant physically afford to pay all i do via the CSA and continue to do what i do, and by stopping doing what i do my kids will suffer.

Lilybeth

Loopy girl - no i am not trying to get back at my ex i have not been with him for 10 years all i am trying to do it provide for my children for which i do emotionally and financially. He doesnt and wont work due to no reason i cant sustain suppoting him but do provide for my children.

Loopy_Girl

wiggine wrote: »

i am just hard working and trying to show my kids the same ethic in life.

But you are planning on giving up work?

Or do you mean you are planning on taking maternity leave?

I'm afraid you can't be the moral high ground about working and him not if you are planning on doing exactly what he is doing i.e giving up work to be a full time parent.

Loopy_Girl

wiggine wrote: »

Soubrette cleaerly you are a woman scorned in some way or another because you are being facetious btw i do buy all the clothing shoes trainers coats and the like for BOTH houses yes you are correct, clearly doing a pack lunch (although up till december last year i was taking a pack lunch for school every day even the days they where going from there fathers as even when they where staying at there dads i did the school run even though he can drive and did have a car)..... he must feed them yes your correct but i again every other month have to do a shop for him as he tells me he has not got any food for them, with respect Soubrette you clearly need to step aside and see each persons case as individual rather then packing everyone that isnt in the legal eyes PWC ofinto a little box.

i have reported what i see as neglect as in the cleanliness but actually if you speak to the social services this is not actually seen as neglect and because i do all of the above and then more i am GLAD to say they ok.

oh and to add you are also correct in the fact he doesnt ever take them out that is down to me and my husband we do that as he wont take them anywhere as apparently he hasnt got any money but lets face it a trip to the park is more effort then expence would you agree?

Now i come onto this site to see where i stand i dont want to be lining his pockets for his gambling i would sooner see it spent on the children along with ALL the many benefits he gets he should be able to budget and pay all his bills more than comfortably. so rest assured he is in no way going without. i cant physically afford to pay all i do via the CSA and continue to do what i do, and by stopping doing what i do my kids will suffer.

You are bang out of order with that love.

There are plenty male NRP's who come on here and say they are going to give up work and leave the financial side of things to the PWC who get a hard time and you are doing exactly the same.

If you can't afford your first children then perhaps you should think twice about bringing more children into the world.

Loopy_Girl

wiggine wrote: »

Loopy girl - no i am not trying to get back at my ex i have not been with him for 10 years all i am trying to do it provide for my children for which i do emotionally and financially. He doesnt and wont work due to no reason i cant sustain suppoting him but do provide for my children.

So don't be a mug then and keep supporting him.

He will never learn to budget if you are doing his shopping for him will he?

There's no point moaning about something if you are not willing to change it.

Pay your child support and do what you feel neccesary when they are with you and let him fend for himself....if there are problems then you involve SS immediately.