Revenge an affair.....15 years later?

Bettybigboobs

You and your new "chap" deserve each other, however his wife doesn't deserve the pain, heartache and utter life changing trauma that your rolls in the sack will cause. Grow up, bin the husband as you obviously don't love him like a wife should, and then when you are SINGLE, go out and find a SINGLE man, so your happiness doesn't cause pain to any innocent parties. People who have affairs deserve a sharp, and quick knee where it hurts.

EDIT: I have read that you have seen sense and thought about things. Good luck with everything.

mademoiselle_2

revengeornot, I am truly delighted on your behalf to hear that you have taken the dignified option and chosen not to continue contact with this...specimen.

Brother of a friend or not, he is odious. I am sure that it has occurred to you by now that he has

a) taken advantage of you when you are vulnerable;
b) treated you with a lot of disrespect; and
c) assumed that you are as promiscuous as him.

In the cold light of day, his attentions are not quite so flattering, are they?

I am not blaming you at all. It's such an easy trap to fall into, when you want to believe that someone views you romantically... when all they are really doing, is cold-heartedly assessing the chance of casual sex. So happy that you were smart enough to figure this out.
:T

Errata

revengeornot wrote: »

Definately not my friend, I have been regular on these boards for many years, just didn't want to use my 'real' username for obvious reasons

Well, thanks for all your comments. I know I've been a complete fool. I was dreading work today but actually, everything was OK.

I did find out one thing though - that the chap in question has had several 'flings'. The thought of it now really does turn my stomach

I have deleted his no. and will try & get on with the rest of my life

I need to stand up for myself more when in comes to supporting my Dad, & will try very hard not to hold this against my husband, who, apart from the crap he gives me about spending too much time supporting others is a fantastic father, and does try to show me attention, but I find myself pushing him away because of some of the hurtful things he says

Thanks

Good luck with your future. Don't worry, there won't be a single person reading this thread who hasn't made a t!t of themseelves at some point in their lives.
Don't push your OH away when he hurts you, tell him he's hurt you. Dogs and men have to be told things very simply and clearly. They can't read minds, which is just as well.

redcard

You should go and get yerself pumped.

Michelin

Glad that you have reached that decision. I don't think it is based on the fact that your husband cheated on yuou 15 years ago - that is a long time. I think the reason you were so open to the flirting is that you marriage is not in a good place and that is what needs working on - an affair will not help. It is great when people flirt with you and it does make you feel good but for me, the love I feel for my husband would never make an affair attractive and I know that I can just walk away from flirting. However, if I was not happy with him, then I can see the attraction of a fling.

Concentrate on what you have now and if that is not what you want, then make the choice to be on your own. Good luck!!

jamespir

i think youd be very stupid to go with him juts cause something happened 15 years ago dont give you a free pass you could end up breaking up your marriage and someone elses to >>>>>>>>THINK>>>>>>>>

paddy's_mum

mademoiselle wrote: »

revengeornot, I am truly delighted on your behalf to hear that you have taken the dignified option and chosen not to continue contact with this...specimen.

Brother of a friend or not, he is odious. I am sure that it has occurred to you by now that he has

a) taken advantage of you when you are vulnerable;
b) treated you with a lot of disrespect; and
c) assumed that you are as promiscuous as him.

In the cold light of day, his attentions are not quite so flattering, are they?

I am not blaming you at all. It's such an easy trap to fall into, when you want to believe that someone views you romantically... when all they are really doing, is cold-heartedly assessing the chance of casual sex. So happy that you were smart enough to figure this out.
:T

Superb post! I wish this could be made head-of-the-queue whenever anyone types in the search term "affair".

SandC

Glad you saw sense and also asked the right questions of the right people to find out what this chap is like before embarking on anything.

I too don't feel it is really a revenge act. I think it was just your mind's justification for your snogathon and that really you have forgiven (just not forgotten yeah?) your husband's affair.

Sounds like you are going through a bad time at the moment and your husband could be more supportive. However - if you found the time to go out when you met the guy and you were considering this guy's offer to meet up then you would have found the time to do so wouldn't you? So how about you use this as a bit of a wake up call. Despite looking after your dad what you probably need right now is to connect with your hubby again. Get yourselves out for a night and try to put the stress behind you. I'm not saying he's right to whinge about you not giving him any time, but well sometimes we forget our closest are around when we're busy trying to deal with things 'our way'.

Schwade

Good you came to your senses.

I am always amazed at how simple it is to get women to kiss and go further by giving them just a little bit of attention. Seems even easier than to ask someone to share their toothbrush.

Sorry if I sound harsh. No offence to you. In any event, some women really need some self-confidence that you don't need another guy to pamper you to feel good about yourself.

Spend the time you would have with this guy to actually spend the time with your husband. It's simple.