when she grows up - learning difficulties

Torndao01

Hi I have a DD aged 8 year 3 at school. She is a wonderful, kind, loving and happy child. She also has dyslexia, dyspraxia and general academic learning dificulties. Her reading age is 5, she also struggles with numbers past 40 and struggles to write readable words. She does not have problems socially and has the ability to mix with her peers. The school are good and she gets lots of extra lessons so thats not a problem.

I worry how she is going to function in the real world when she gets older and how she is going to cope at high school. DD still has to learn about money, time, days the week, how to turn on the dvd player and many more day to day things. The fact that in other ways she is keeping up with her peers and her difficulties do not stand out means other people do not really take my concerns serious.

Has anyone gone through this with their child and how has the child coped with growing up. I suppose Im looking for reassurance that she will be ok, which I know is impossible.

Errata

My local M&S have a shop floor assistant who has LD. She's terrific and I've watched her from day one when she was just shadowing for a few hours a day a couple of days a week, all the way through many years of mentoring and support from M&S. It's a joy to see how she's thrived over the years. HTH

BeauBelle

Hi

I have a friend who has the same issues as your daughter, she did find school very hard but she now has a great job working for the local council and is very happy and settled there. She is also learning to drive, it is taking her longer than average but shes still doing it!

I think your daughter will be fine, but its natural to worry about these things.

I wish you all lots of luck for the future

BB

aliasojo

Torndao01 wrote: »

She does not have problems socially and has the ability to mix with her peers.

Then she already has what's needed to get by in life.

Try not to fret about her although I know that's easier said than done. My son has LD amongst other things but his social skills were absymal too so he was one all round problem. The training centre he attended helped me lighten up about it all and learn to accept what will be will be.

People and employers are much more accepting and helpful these days. Your daughter has lots of growing and learning left to do, she may not have the ability to tell the time or learn about days of the week yet, but she has plenty time left in which to practice and learn. Even if she doesn't learn all you would wish her to, there are more opportunities for people with special needs, your girl will find her place.

gingerwhinger

My daughter is now aged 10 and also has dyslexia, dyspraxia and discalculia.

We were fortunate in that she had a really good teacher in reception who picked up on the dyslexia and dyspraxia pretty much straight away. However, nothing really happened until we got the formal diagnosis.

Reception she made very little progress. Year 1 she had a truly incompetent teacher and made no progress at all and really suffered with her self esteem. At the end of year 1 (when she was 6 1/2) we managed to get her formally assessed by paying privately. Things started to improve for her at this point.

In year 2 she got more support from school and we started to pay for her to see a dyslexia teacher for an hour a week. We were given exercises to do at home to help with the dyspraxia and also we read together and did the "toe by toe" book.

In year 3 she was also diagnosed with discalculia. Her maths skills were really really poor so this was no surprise at all. She was in the bottom set (set 5) and really struggled with even simple tasks like say counting backwards from 100. She also could not associate numbers with objects.

In Year 4 things really started improving for her. She got a new maths teacher at school who was fab and really seemed to get through to her. She made so much progress that we paid her privately to give her an extra hour per week at home. This along with the personal dyslexia tutor really made a difference. At the end of year 4 her maths test results put her in Set 2 which was amazing. her reading and spelling results were above average. She still struggles with writing and her last years results put her about 2 years behind average.

Yesterday I got a phone call from her teacher to say how proud she was of DD. She said she had worked so hard on her writing objectives and was coming on leaps and bounds and also that she was a really popular and confident member of the class - which was obviously wonderful.

What I would advise anyone in a similar situation is to pay for personal tuition and do whatever you can at home to try and help. My daughters school is classed as outstanding by ofsted and is supposedly one of the top 100 schools in the country - but they only have so much resource. They have given her 3 extra half hour sessions for the past 3 years but it really isn't enough on its own.

I used to always worry that my daughter would never be able to attend uni and would end up doing a job she hated but now I honestly think if she wants to go to uni then she will be able. She does sometimes say she wants to be a doctor or a vet and I do personally think that would be unobtainable but I still try and encourage her as she's already totally exceeded everyone's expectations once so she may well do it again!

I know it's really worrying but try and stay positive. There are loads of famous people who struggled at school but managed to do well in adult life. (Richard Branson and Winston Churchill both had dyslexia)

JC9297

Torndao01 wrote: »

Hi I have a DD aged 8 year 3 at school. She is a wonderful, kind, loving and happy child. She also has dyslexia, dyspraxia and general academic learning dificulties. Her reading age is 5, she also struggles with numbers past 40 and struggles to write readable words. She does not have problems socially and has the ability to mix with her peers. The school are good and she gets lots of extra lessons so thats not a problem.

I worry how she is going to function in the real world when she gets older and how she is going to cope at high school. DD still has to learn about money, time, days the week, how to turn on the dvd player and many more day to day things. The fact that in other ways she is keeping up with her peers and her difficulties do not stand out means other people do not really take my concerns serious.

Has anyone gone through this with their child and how has the child coped with growing up. I suppose Im looking for reassurance that she will be ok, which I know is impossible.

Whilst your daughter obviously is behind her peers she does not sound to me like someone who would be considered to be learning disabled (low IQ) . What she does have is a Specific Learning Disability (dyslexia) and the delays in her learning are probably largely to do with this. The school should be using methods with her that are known to help children with dyslexia. Many people with dyslexia go on to be very successful, yes they have to work harder but they can get there.

Many children in Year 3 can not tell the time properly or understand money, these are maths concepts so yes if she is behind with maths (may be dyscalculaic?) she will find these hard at the moment.

I understand you worry about the future, that is natural, but I think perhaps you are imagining a bleaker outcome for your daughter than necessary.

gingerwhinger

JC9297 wrote: »

Many people with dyslexia go on to be very successful, yes they have to work harder but they can get there.

This is so true. My DD actually has a twin brother who doesn't have learning difficulties. He's in all the tops sets but he's quite lazy. DD works twice as hard as him because she has to and it is now second nature to her. She does her homework on the day it is set and spends ages on it, whilst he does the bare minimum at the last minute. I fully expect DD to overtake her twin at some point - the work will get more and more challenging for both of them but she is already used to overcoming challenges.

peachyprice

One of my sons is similar to your DD, he is dyspraxic/dyslexic.
At the age of 8 I had similar concerns to you, however as the years have gone by he's really come on wonderfully.

We had a tutor for maths for the last 2 years of primary which really helped, she had the time the teachers didn't have to keep going over the same thing over and over until he got it, escpecially time an money.

At secondary school he's been allowed to use his laptop in lots of lessons, they gave us some SEN touch typing software to help with typing, now he's as fast as a pro! For his GCSE's he has a scribe for all external exams and extra time.

He's expected to bet B's in all his sciences and C's in most of his other subjects. He's now choosing which A levels he wants to take :T

When he was 8 there was no way I would have imagined that we would do so well, I did worry about him so much, but he's learned to live with who and how he is and with the right support from home and school he's really excelled.

HTH

stiltwalker

There is a lot of support out there now if you can shout loud enough to access it. Both my parents were in education (my Dad as a special school head and he had a couple of his kids end up going to uni). At least these days people believe in these problems. My OH is dyslexic and his middle school didn't believe in the condition at the time (over 35 years ago) and just put him in the remedial class. This understandably set him back considerable and as it was a middle school system he only had 4 years of secondary to catch up, this said a number of his qualifications were O Level rather than CSE despite actually having regressed at middle school due to not being challenged. Fortunately these days schools are a lot more on the ball and have a lot more information and strategies at their disposal to help rather than hinder kids, it is not the problem to get help that it once was but as I say you may need to shout!

sock-knitter

i have twin boys who are now aged 15, who have learning difficulties, and ADHD, and aspergers, they were way behind their peers at aged 8, now tho, they have pretty much caught up, except dealing with numbers, so still struggle with money. both are looking forward to going to college in september.
at this time op i'd say dont worry too much, and spend extra time at home teaching things, like days of week, and pointing out the time etc
anyone any tips on helping 15 year olds with money, my biggest fear is that some one will rip them off

merlin68

My DD is 13 and also struggles with time and money, but her mental age is reception level. She has Di George syndrome. My husband is dyslexic and always worked up until 2 years ago when he got made redundant, but he can't get a job now as they are so fussy about basic skills. He can't read or write at all.