Going from 2 to 3 children?

moneypanicker

I have 3! I already had 2 girls and desperately wanted a boy! Lucky for me number 3 was a boy and i'm so glad we had no 3. However had i had one of each i probably would have stuck at 2. 3 is quite tricky in that you need a car with 3 proper car seats in back - there are not many cars that do this.

Hotels will usually only take 4 - can take 5 sometimes but only while no 3 is a baby. We usually go camping so this solves this problem.

Moneywise we've been lucky having 3 children took us over the threashold for tax credits and for one year weve had our childcare almost paid for. This is only due to maternity leave and income being lower than usual. However this will stop in April and we won't be entitled to anything. We made the decision to have no 3 though before we knew about tax credits and knew that we could afford it. Childcare will be our biggest expense.

We have a 3 bedroomed house and are now thinking that we would like 4 bedrooms as the elder 2 are starting to argue. If however we can't afford it then we will make do!

The biggest factor for me though was that my family didn't feel complete. I know that probably sounds daft but i'd see other families around with 3 children and they looked finished. Now i have 3 my family is complete and the feelings i had before have gone.

emerald21

Hi this is just my view. I could understand it more if you had two of the same sex. In my situation i always wanted a girl and i had two boys who are very much loved etc. I remarried after a few years and went on to have a girl, ages at the time my daughter arrived were 9, 7 so a bit of a gap. I didn t feel the need to have any more after her. That was enough for us and i was so happy to have both sexes. Now they are 33, 31, and just 25. The point im trying to make as i have realised with hindsight the more children you have the more money you need to help them out. Its easier when there are only the two than three or even more obviously. With things being so difficult nowadays for young people even though mine all work and always have done nothings cheap is it ? First car,s indeed insurance for first cars, possibly help with mortgages etc etc. If money isn t a problem then fair enough i say but i never considered when i was in my twenties how much money may be needed when they grew up . As in my opinion children are for life really up to a point and not just till they are 16. Hope this gives you another perspective

jcr16

we have 3 and i'm currently expecting 4, and tbh i might even havea 5th or 6th health depending.

we don't lead lavish life style. we don't travel aboard ( although are planning a ski trip and disney land within 7 years , but will save for those) our family holidays are generelly self catering cottages down west country. one things which annoys me is family tickets for places are generally 2 + 2, additions children you pay full price for, a discount of even a £1 would be nice, but then we only take the children to places we know they love and generally when you pay to go into a zoo the money goes towards the up keep of the animals so we don't begrudge it.


we only have a 2 bedroom house, we have thought about moving , but decided to spilt the biggest bedroom. then our eldest two said they wanted to share a room still. and didn't want seperate bedrooms. they got very upset when they thought they would be spoilt up. so for now that idea is shelved. My dd knows she wants a pink bedroom and we said we will do it later on. My children are only 7,5 and 2 they love sharing, so not gonna rock the boat.
hubby is an only child ( had two step brothers but didn't grow up with them ) and i have 1 bro , 14 yrs younger so like a only child. hubby and i want a big family, maybe because we didn't have it and it something when growing up we both wish we had.

money may be tight some months, but my children never want for anything. i see some children at my childrens school same age as my dd, ( 7) and they ask for ds , lap tops, mobile phones etc and they all get it , my dd has no interest in material things like this but prefers to play with barbies . yes she can use the laptop at home , under super vision, if she needs to phone a friend or family memeber she is allowed to use house phone providing she asks etc.

like others we always knew we would never regret having a child, but woudl regret not having them when we had the desire to. i'm 29 now and always said i would stop at 30. baby is due just before i'm 30. and even if we don't plan any more, if i really wanted another or accidently fell preg, i would welcome the baby with open arms, sometimes these things happens because they are ment to. i'm very fortunate to be with a hubby who can support us and i'm able to have these children. every day i know how blessed i am.

bylromarha

We have 2, have stopped at 2. Always were going to stop at 2.

I know lots of people who have had a number 3 in the past 2 years. 60% of them say the jump from 2 to 3 was much harder than they thought it would be...harder from 1 to 2.

narabanekeater

Im pregnant with number at the moment
The hardest part so far is how big I am and how hard im finding getting about due to SPD
One thing thats also effected me is peoples look of horror when I tell them weve got 2 already
Like you weve got baby clothes and I use washable nappies where possible. We holiday twice a year and will continue to do so
I love being a Mum and have a wonderful supportive hubby who is a fabulous Dad as well.
Youll know whats right for you and your family. I know this will be the last one for us
I wish you well whatever you decide

Gavin83

I don't think your problem is financial, it's your OH. If he isn't keen then there really isn't much you can do about it as it's a joint decision after all. I wouldn't push him too hard on this as it could lead to arguments but he may just be worried about the financial aspects.

Nicki

We have 3 too. There is a bit of a gap between my second and third, not intentionally, so I have 2 in their last few years at primary school and a toddler. We had to reacquire all the baby stuff, bur have found this time round we have lots of friends who have slightly older babies so we've had lots of stuff given to us for free. When we had one and two we were the first of our circle of friends to have children.

We needed a bigger car, but otherwise haven't needed anything hugely different for 3. For holidays abroad most complexes have apartments which sleep up to 6 so I don't see that as being a huge problem. With hotels you can often get two doubles with a connecting door which would easily accommodate 5. Otherwise, you just divide what resources you have between 3 rather than 2, which might mean that you can't give any of them a car or a deposit for their first home, but lots of young adults don't get that start in life and do ok ( I am one!)

Truth be told I'd love 4 but I suspect age is against me, and OH is happy with 3, so we'll probably stick here. I haven't found 3 to be massively harder than 2 to be honest. Once you get into the groove of having kids you just go with the flow. I also haven't found it any harder to get babysitters (my middle child has special needs so we have a more limited pool of people we can call on, but they aren't more reluctant since we've had the baby) and nor have any of my friends with 3 or even 4 kids.

strawberrypud

We have 2 (age 3 and 1) and I would like a third but I want to wait until the youngest is at school so I have a big chunk of the day to just focus on the baby eg. having a baby and a toddler I found it hard to breastfeed the baby (which takes so long and occurs so frequently) without the toddler needing something. So I am hoping that if I have a third when the oldest is of an age where they can sort themselves out a bit more (eg getting juice and well able to use the toilet by themselves and simply understand that they'll have to wait until mummy is finished) that life with a newborn will be more manageable. Just something to consider, it doesn't have to be now or never.

Becles

We have three and I've noticed that family tickets and hotel rooms etc., often are for two adults and two children.

You'll end up with big expenses. Last September was the first year of buying three lots of school uniform and school shoes. The eldest has huge feet and needs adult shoes too which added to the cost.

Recipes often serve four, so you need to be creative and add extra bits to make it serve five. If you buy frozen food, things like pies and battered fish fillets tend to come in boxes of 4, so you always have odds and ends rolling round the freezer.

If there's a big gap like with mine (14,12 and 3), you sometimes get stuck for things to do. The youngest won't sit still and watch a film, so she had to be left with my parents when we went to the cinema. If we went to a soft play area for her, the eldest would be bored. However with a big gap, it solves the hotel room problem as we went away last year and had two twin rooms with a sofa bed in our room for the youngest.

There's plenty of pro's though. They get on really well and the youngest is more confident than the bigger two were as she's grown up playing among their friends. The bigger ones keep an eye on her if I need to do things like make a phone call or something and it's given them skills that hopefully will come in useful when they have their own children.

ceridwen

The reasons ARE valid enough to stick at 2 - even just taking your own personal viewpoint only into account - ie hubby only wants 2.

Its not fair to expect someone to have more children than they want - and he is the one who basically has to earn the money to pay for the costs.