My journey to being debt free again!

jfc

Hi Cyril, thanks for your post. I hear what you are saying, and I was planning to talk about it with him tonight, but when I came home he was ranting that his account was £300 overdrawn and he didnt understand why...apparently he had been given a lump sum of money from his company for working their 25 years and his balance dosnt reflect this amount. I cant possibly mention my situation at the moment. As soon as he learns that my mum has helped me gain back control of my finances he will ask me for money to sort out his own account....Despite earning good money, he tends to not work out his outgoings and I know he has joined a new golf club this month and wonder if he has had to pay twice (annual renewal to his old club as well as his new)....The thing is when he has something like this he shouts and moans so we all hear him and feel to blame...I couldnt then add to his worrys.

Apart from this, I have had a lovely day today. I had a work experience girl with me today and she was lovely, a real pleasure to have around. She also helped me a great deal with my work load. I tried to make it interesting for her, she designed a poster and did an item for our company newsletter as well as helped me sort though the training records. I wonder if we can have a student every week to help out...:)

Hope you are all doing well xxx

jfc

One not so good thing...the parking fine appeal hasnt been approved and my son still has to pay the £100 ticket, despite scaning proof that he did pay and display to premier parking...apparently this company have a reputation for issuing tickets and not listening to appeals...one person was parked slightly on a white line and they got a ticket, it appears its legal...:(

jfc

Hi everyone

I have had a good weekend so far, very productive. Ive sorted out my costume for my sons 18th next weekend. I am going as Pierrot, Im pleased as its only cost me £20 for some silky pyjama things (half black, Half white) and a hat and some face paints. (My sons girlfriend has offered to paint my face .

Also for his party I have held back on spending loads on booze etc...I have restricted myself to buying just a few party packs of beer and boxes of wine..and will be making all the food myself. Its a home party so no financial outlay there and my sons mates are bringing drinks. One of my sons friends is going to do the music and his girlfriend is going to help me decorate the house for it...using christmas lights etc....

I bought my sons present a while ago so thats all sorted. I have got him a camera. He is doing A level Photography and at the moment he is borrowing the school camera. He said he is really reluctant to give it back at the end of this year....so I am hoping he likes his gift. His girlfriend has spoilt him this too, they are going away to Greece and she has got him tickets to go to a music festival of some sort, plus she has made him a scrap book thing ..which I have yet to see but she is very creative so I expect it will be lovely... he is a lucky lad.

The only thing I haven't got him is a birthday cake, I should have done this ages ago but I have had my head elsewhere...but his girlfriend has offered to bake him a cake, she really is a lovely girl...he better keep hold of this one xx

I received a letter telling me to go ahead and arrange my psychiatric sessions from Benedon Health. They are happy to pay £1500 worth of treatment. I will see my GP with this information and let you know how I get on.

I am keeping a money diary - more of a spreadsheet and listing every little thing I spend or receive and it is already making interesting reading.

Hope you all are doing well

xx

jfc

Had a blinding headache today...and have had to take soluble aspirin every 4 hours to keep it bearable. I think its hormonal but it could also be linked to the stress of the last few weeks, months (years)...

Went shopping today for the food, OH gave me on £60 this time as he said he had no more, I managed to get some food and when I came back from the shop, he told me he was going away on 2 golf holidays this year...alright for some (probably the reason for the drop in food money)...still its always nice and quiet when he is away.

xxx

thrifty_fifty

Oh sweetheart I really feel for you right now. Just reading that, I want to wrap those golf clubs around his head!!

Your situation mirrors that of mine a few years ago (feel free to read my DFW diary). Like you I tried to manage on nothing, he earned more than me, yet let me pay for everything. I got into debt basically having nothing to live on, and still buying his clothes, paying half of everything and paying for everything else in between. Do you know when he broke up with me, I saw him about a year later, and he was still wearing all the clothes that I bought him? He clearly had no shame.

Anyway, these two sound like they are from the same mould. The feelings of entitlement, the anger at having to fork out money for other people (my OH resented the fact that I earned less than him so he couldn't keep his increased wages to himself), the lack of knowledge or wanting to know about just how the hell you are meant to survive and run the house on a pittance.

May I say that what strikes me, is when you talk about your work, and the way you have managed up to now, is that you are a very capable person and a strong one at that. You are holding your family together, as well as dealing with your problems. This will all stand you in good stead for the future.

I know you perhaps don't want to hear it, and believe you me I made all kinds of excuses for my OHs behaviour when we were together, but this man is not respecting you, and he needs a good jerk back to reality. He is behaving like a spoiled child. How dare he, in the same day reduce your food budget by £40 and tell you he is not only taking one holiday, but 2!!!!!

And where is the holiday for your family?

Sorry to sound like I'm giving a lecture, but it just made me so angry. You are clearly a very strong and wonderful person, your children love you dearly, and that man does not deserve you.

Please do remember to take some time out for yourself.

Sending you big hugs.xx

Lipstick99

It sounds like your son is going to have a lovely birthday.


Your partner .... !!!!.... OMG what a selfish man. You should not supplement the housekeeping at all for him. In fact do not buy any food for him. And do not do his dishes or laundry. He is insulking you and your family.

Why oh why do you reinfornce his behaviour by allowing him to take these holidays, spending a grand a time or whatever it costs? You sound like you a capable and level headed and valued at work.... so you obviously know how to get the best out of people.

I hope that your sessins come through soon, perhaps you won't hear it until a professional says it?