Getting to know eachother.

[Deleted User]

I just started a new fanstastic relationship (or so i thought!). At first he laid a few ground rules down, so ok not a great start but one of them was dont demand too much of his time. Which ok, sounded a bit strangeto me but i thought maybe hes had other relationships where hes been nagged or hes got a genuinely busy life. We are both in our 40s so i do understand the demands of life and other interests. Anyway fast forward 3months and hes now putting demands on me. Hes saying seeing me 2 or 3 times a week isnt enough, txting me saying he doesnt think i want this relationship or asking me to txt him telling him i love him and need him!!! Good God were not children. And to be honest its really getting me down. Ive had these sort of txts for about 6weeks on and off, culminating in him walking out one night in a strop because he didnt think i wanted him around. Its wearing me down to the point where i feel guilty if i want time to myself and have had to lie to spare his feelings because i dont want to see him so ive gone and done something just so he knows im busy. I do live on my own but i love it and im so busy with life that i was sort of pleased (although taken aback) when he said dont make demands on him. I thought thats good because im either busy with friends, family, work and i like my space. Sorry for the rant. Im getting the impression he thinks a relationship should be that were all over eachother and see eachother a lot. Is needing space such a bad thing because his feeling are if you love someone you want to be with them always. Hes even mentioned moving in together in the future and marriage already. Its scaring me off. Sorry for long post just had to let it all out.

RAS

Get out now.

cte1111

It's a bit difficult to read your post but will try and respond.

Sounds obvious, but have you talked to your partner about your concerns? If you've got different expectations from the relationship then it's difficult. There are no hard and fast rules on how often you should see each other / how affectionate you should be, but if one of you wants more than the other then it doesn't look good.

From my POV, my husband was talking marriage within a few months of meeting, it obviously worked because we are happily married. But in any previous relationship this would have horrified me, so I guess it's OK when it's 'the one' but scary when not.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Lay down a few demands of yu own, if he doesn't like them then end things. If he's getting you down already it's not worth it.

mazza111

Sorry to be blunt but i'd get rid, he sounds like the type where it's my way or no way kinda guy. If you need your space take it, and don't let anyone invade it and take it from you!

[Deleted User]

We have actually spent a lot of time together what with it being xmas, new year and time off together after. I just get txts saying do i love him, need him, he thinks im gonna end it, almost like hes feeling sorry for himself and wants me to come running (which is what a friend of mine said it sounds like). Now shes knows me very well and also like me she likes her space, so fully understands how i feel. Ive also had a previous relationship where if my partner didnt get his own way hed throw a strop and end the relationship. In the end i ended it permanently because he had all the control. I know im the way i am because of my past so im fighting all the way for my independance. The trouble is im getting bored of the woe is me and you dont want me txts to the point where im not bothered now whether i do see him at the moment. I seem to be feeling like im being backed into a corner with regards to me wanting my space. Hes arranged a few things and ive said no because ive made other plans with my friends and he wants to plan the future with regards to holidays and days out. But to me thats looking too far ahead and i can just about plan for tomorrow. Oh and yes i have talked about it constantly since the txts of that sort started, but i still get them so hes obviously not listening or thinking i will come around to his way.

thorsoak

run.... run..... RUN..... RUN NOW!

meritaten

I think you know what you need to do - its in every line of your posts! end it now hun, tbh this guy sounds a bit obsessed with you so do be careful!

aliasojo

Aw bless. What you have there is a needy wee boy inside a man's body. Emotionally unable to engage in adult relationships in an adult manner. Suggest this one isn't worth the effort.

[Deleted User]

Thats what im worried about. I know everyone says RUN but maybe this is what hes used to and im just not. Everyone needs time out from eachother so the saying goes and i agree its not healthy to have a relationship with just two of you. Im backing off a bit but dont quite now how to do that though or what to say. Do i give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe just cut txting him and see him when i can or what. I just dont know. Maybe if i stand my ground and say the relationship i want is the way it was in the beginning and basically i want to say GET A LIFE but dont want to be so blunt.

C_Mababejive