Stay at home mums

RoxieW

Exactly my point! It works best for you ATM but doesn't stop you being an intelligent ambitious woman! That was what I trying to say I would never write off all SAHMs as I am one myself. It was the women in the article I was referring to, and also, I have to say, I know a fair few people who see being a mum as their ticket not to work but it depends what type of person you are. Some people are happy not having a Career of their own, but I am not one of them.

bylromarha

I find it fantastic The Mail have titled the SAHM as a status symbol.

I have NEVER had a status symbol in my life, always wanted one since I played "Game of Life" as a kid. Now I am one. Whoop...go me and Mr Byl....all on a joint household income which ranges between £8k and £22k pa depending on OHs business.

Racehorse, paintings and private jet here we come. Whoop whoop!!!!

lostinrates

RoxieW wrote: »

Exactly my point! It works best for you ATM but doesn't stop you being an intelligent ambitious woman! That was what I trying to say I would never write off all SAHMs as I am one myself. It was the women in the article I was referring to, and also, I have to say, I know a fair few people who see being a mum as their ticket not to work but it depends what type of person you are. Some people are happy not having a Career of their own, but I am not one of them.

I SAH and am NOT a mum....so its not a childcare issue or a ''just five years till they are at school'' measure. I'm driven, and ambitious enough to get mental stimulation without work and find I can ''vent'' my ambition in different ways increasingly successfully.

Thank you for the clarification.

poet123

As I understand it Lostinrates is not a sahm, BUT a sahw, yet you consider she is making the wrong choice because you would not make the same choice?

Nor would I write off a sahm/w as less intelligent than I if they did not wish to pursue a career, I would assume they were making their choices based on what suited them.

lostinrates

poet123 wrote: »

I would assume they were making their choices based on what suited them.

suited them AND their family in many cases. We work as a household unit, so the interests of both of us have a fair billing.
And yes you got me right. No kids.

andrealm

RoxieW wrote: »

Exactly my point! It works best for you ATM but doesn't stop you being an intelligent ambitious woman! That was what I trying to say I would never write off all SAHMs as I am one myself. It was the women in the article I was referring to, and also, I have to say, I know a fair few people who see being a mum as their ticket not to work but it depends what type of person you are. Some people are happy not having a Career of their own, but I am not one of them.

that's just it, different things make different people happy. If someone chooses to stay at home and be supported by their partner, who is happy to support them, what business is it of anyone else's?

I consider myself to be intelligent,but have never been particularly ambitious. I can find satisfaction and fulfilment from many things other than paid employment, which can, at times, mind numbingly boring.

andrealm

RoxieW wrote: »

Cont - computer gremlins lol!
Smug self satisfied women convincing themselves that they are fulfilled by their step ford wife roles. I am an ambitious intelligent woman with a career of her own, but for the moment, I am putting my children above that. When they are at school and nursery will I fully intend to have a full time rewiring career of my own and am utilizing this time to work towards that.

To me, they didn't come across as smug, just content with their situation. I would rather enjoy the freedom they have in their daily lives than work in a job I hated.

poet123

To me, the use of the term "smug" smacks of envy.

If you abhor that lifestyle, an advocate of it would come across as delusional, or sad, certainly not smug which implies an element of superiority, which you would not perceive to be there if you thought they were leading a sad unfulfilled life.

onlyroz

poet123 wrote: »

Many peoople do not have the family backgorund to get themselves into a positiion where a "career" as opposed to a "job" is an option.

I disagree. If you're of average or above average intelligence then I maintain that you should be able to succeed in education and career regardless of your background. That was one of the aims of the Blair government wasn't it? That anybody could go to university regardless of their family's income level? Love him or hate him, I think that he *did* achieve that goal. Yes, you might have to take out a loan to go to uni, but if you work hard then you *should* end up with a good enough job to be able to pay back those loans and pursue a rewarding career.

RoxieW

Far from envious! I am a SAHM and could be in that position for as long as I like but I couldn't think of anything worse. I have no problem with SAHM, SAHW or whatever, if you are doing things for yourself, not wasting your potential etc. I do find it quite shocking though that graduates, city traders etc are prepared to Jack all that in to become 'enablers' of their husbands. Are their careers not of equal importance?
Look, if you volunteer great, if you want to stay home and make jam/sew cushions etc then great but do what fulfils you! Not what will fulfil your husband. That is all I'm trying to say.