Extremely lonely....

hayleyholly

Teenie_D wrote: »

Haley I'm really sorry you are feeling like this hun, but if you really want to help yourself you need to make the steps to do so and the first one, like the others have said is to see the doc. He/she if they are any good wont think you are an idiot many, many people are affected by depression and they are well used to it.

If you don't think you can talk why not write things down and let them read it?

When you are depressed it is VERY easy to lock yourself away from the world, I did (well tried to DH and friends wouldn't let me) and couldn't/wouldn't even go to the shops myself.

I too lost a group of friends a number of years ago due to my attitude then, I would go from one extreme to the other, being bubbly and outgoing and the life and soul of the party one minute then being moody and snappy, what I didn't realise at the time was that that was probably my first bout of depression (and an underlying undiagonsed medical condition didn't help!) I have not long got back in touch with one of them through FB and it is nice to have her back in my life again.

Good luck and make that step.

Hello Teenie D, thank you for your advice, the last bit of your post seems to be me to a T at the minute. One minute I am so happy, and the next I am horrible. I not only take it out on the people I work with, but also my partner and my parents. It's like a switch flicks and I turn horrible for no apparent reason.
Did you sort this problem out?

Thanks,

H
x

hayleyholly

dazzer68 wrote: »

hi hayley, if you find it difficult talking to your doctor, perhaps make an appointment to see a female doctor you dont know, its good to talk to someone who you dont know, sometimes.if you still find it difficult, why not just print out your post and take it with you? explain you find it difficult at the moment to talk, but ive written my feelings down, infact i bet more is said written down than verbally, as you can get your true feelings down.
dont feel alone, even people with lots of 'friends' feel lonely sometimes.
your not going to make your self look an idiot, thats what doctors are there for, and thats what they want to do is to help people.
i bet in this day and age where everyones rushing around in their own world its quiet a common problem.dont dispair give the docs a ring .when was the last time you went? if not often just make the excuse your want to go for a MOT and see if everythings ok, then when your there approach the subject, your feeling a little lonely , snappy and short fused.there maybe an underlying problem that could be the cause.
good luck and hope you do it.theres always the samaratians, you can call them about anything you want to chat about someone is always listening.
take care x

Thank you very much for this post - I have just rang the doctors, they have had a cancellation, and can get me in next Wednesday.

Thank you
xxx

tattycath

I can relate to your post hayley. When i was a teenager (mid to late teens) I was the life and soul-seemed like i didn't have a care in the world. I wore a mask (metaphorical) I was trying to be all things to all people-I only showed the side of me that i thought people wanted/expected to see. i wasn't true to myself and In the end i had a breakdown. Diagnosed with low self esteem/depression-was in a very dark place. You need to take the first step and go to the drs-they aren't going to laugh at you, they won't think you're an idiot-they will help.
As an aside-if you want people to like you you need to like yourself first hun. x

dazzer68

hayleyholly wrote: »

Thank you very much for this post - I have just rang the doctors, they have had a cancellation, and can get me in next Wednesday.

Thank you
xxx

well done see your on the right road already!
though its a week away dont give up, think positive.the worst bit is done,making the appointment
take care
daz

hayleyholly

tattycath wrote: »

I can relate to your post hayley. When i was a teenager (mid to late teens) I was the life and soul-seemed like i didn't have a care in the world. I wore a mask (metaphorical) I was trying to be all things to all people-I only showed the side of me that i thought people wanted/expected to see. i wasn't true to myself and In the end i had a breakdown. Diagnosed with low self esteem/depression-was in a very dark place. You need to take the first step and go to the drs-they aren't going to laugh at you, they won't think you're an idiot-they will help.
As an aside-if you want people to like you you need to like yourself first hun. x

That's what I do - try to be everything I am not, and it's hard to do all the time I have booked an appointment , and hopefully the female doc can help me out a bit, I just need to talk to someone, but writing this, this morning has really helped alot. I will show this to my fella, because he has no idea how I am feeling, and hopefuly he will see my point of view. I don't know how to like myself - if that makes any sense. I don't like the person that I am - and until thatg changes I don't think I will be able to like myself.

Thank you for your support xxx

podperson

Hi Hayley,
I really relate to you here, I would advise against moving. I moved about a year ago and it's difficult to meet new people in a new area. I also work in mainly male workplace and while they are nice lads we just don't have a great deal in common. My bf is a mature student so has no problem meeting people which can just make it worse if they are all off doing something (he will generally ask me if they are doing laddy things I feel a bit out-of-place).
While I agree that going to the doctor could be really helpful I know what I'm realising is that at the end of the day if I am not happy with my life then I need to make the effort to change it. Am looking at trying to join some groups and thinking what I am interested in that would help me socially, it is quite scary but I know the alternative is just staying as I am forever Anyways hope things look up for you soon x

hayleyholly

podperson wrote: »

Hi Hayley,
I really relate to you here, I would advise against moving. I moved about a year ago and it's difficult to meet new people in a new area. I also work in mainly male workplace and while they are nice lads we just don't have a great deal in common. My bf is a mature student so has no problem meeting people which can just make it worse if they are all off doing something (he will generally ask me if they are doing laddy things I feel a bit out-of-place).
While I agree that going to the doctor could be really helpful I know what I'm realising is that at the end of the day if I am not happy with my life then I need to make the effort to change it. Am looking at trying to join some groups and thinking what I am interested in that would help me socially, it is quite scary but I know the alternative is just staying as I am forever Anyways hope things look up for you soon x

I don't have a great deal in common with the guys at work either, plus many of them are pretty sexist, and as it is very male orientated it's hard to be respected as a woman, rather than a piece of meat.
I was thinking about joinging a group or something, but I have no idea how to go about it, I do need to start going out more, socialising, and finding the friends that I truly need. I justg need tat person to let go all my aggrivations to etc etc. I am sure you feel the same? It's really hard, we can do this xxx

gorgeouslatinrose

Hi Hayley,
Do you think it might be possible to ask to be rung back if they have any sooner cancellations? Just thinking it would do you so much good and make you feel so much better if you saw him sooner. If it is depression, they do tend to see that as a high priority. If not then at least you have one. Big hugs, hope you feel better soon

podperson

Regarding joining a group, what kind of things are you interested in or think you might like to try? For example I read a lot which is really antisocial so am looking at some book groups and trying some creative writing. Am also looking at some dance/fitness classes which could be good for you as it's proven that exercise can help with depression, plus gets you meeting people. Have a look on the net, in the local paper, library, etc for things in your area. Like you said it is hard but hopefully will be worth it x

Teenie_D

hayleyholly wrote: »

Hello Teenie D, thank you for your advice, the last bit of your post seems to be me to a T at the minute. One minute I am so happy, and the next I am horrible. I not only take it out on the people I work with, but also my partner and my parents. It's like a switch flicks and I turn horrible for no apparent reason.
Did you sort this problem out?

Thanks,

H
x

I did sweetie at that point it was as simple a thyroid problem, but because it had gone on for so long without the proper meds I was getting to the point where I wasn't functioning very well depression wasn't really mentioned at this point (it is a factor in the illness though if not treated) but I'm sure this was the start of it for me. I'm not suggesting this is what you have though.

I still go through the occasional times where the depression comes back but it's getting to recognise it and "nipping it in the bud" which can be really hard to do. The last time I was really bad was when my DD was 10 months old and I was the same as you are, very angry with everyone, didn't want to socialise thought my DD and Dh would be much better without me and I knew what I was saying to people, especially my Dh was awful but the words and anger would just fall out of my mouth I had completely lost my sparkle again but couldn't find the words, confidence to say to people there is something not right here.

I went to the doc about something completely unrelated and when she asked me how I was everything came out and I admitted then that I couldn't carry on like this. It honestly was the best thing I did so good on you for making that step, it's just a shame you have to wait so long for an appt but if things get worse keep phoning to see if you can get one sooner.

Good luck x