Partner confiding in another woman (online)

Plans_all_plans

From what I've read in the OP: the relationship does not seem worth saving.

You have been together only a year and you are 30 odd, he is 40 odd. In this time you've broken up twice and had massive trust issues with him. A year is a very short amount of time in my opinion and in what should really be "the honeymoon period" you've had a lot of hassle, which rings alarm bells to me.

To be honest, I don't think he sounds like he knows what he wants. He also sounds quite manipulative. I realise it's hard to hear pinknails, but he's no good for any woman at the moment.

brokeinyorkshire

I have just been through an identical situation with my ex and I ended our relationship because of it.

Things hadn't been great for a while and I had caught him trawling dating and swinging sites before. He promised not to do it again but the final straw was when I found his profile on Tagged.com. He had been sending sex messages to other women! I was appalled by this and also by the lies he told trying to wriggle his way out of it so I ended the relationship.

I would recommend the same as once a liar always a liar in my experience.

J

barbiedoll

My ex-husband was a little like this. Some men just cannot be satisfied with one woman, their insecurities mean that they always have to have someone else on the back burner. They like to confide in someone "safe", who they don't have to actually relate to in the real world, but it strokes their ego and makes them feel as though they have women fighting over them. It's quite sad really but to be honest, he will give you nothing but trouble and grief, you are already crying over him and wondering what it is that you are doing wrong. The answer is nothing, the shortcomings are all his.

If he cannot speak to you about his "feelings" or cannot confide in you, then there is no point in either of you being in the relationship. And even if he gives up the online woman and doesn't speak to his ex any more, you will always be wondering what he is up to and who is he thinking about. I would never tell anyone to break off a relationship but can you honestly say that you are happy with this man? And will he ever be the person that you want him to be? There ARE men out there who don't need to constantly prove themselves by engaging with other women, many men are perfectly happy with one woman! Find yourself a partner who is worthy of your love and respect, this one clearly isn't.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

From what I've read in the OP: the relationship does not seem worth saving.

You have been together only a year and you are 30 odd, he is 40 odd. In this time you've broken up twice and had massive trust issues with him. A year is a very short amount of time in my opinion and in what should really be "the honeymoon period" you've had a lot of hassle, which rings alarm bells to me.

To be honest, I don't think he sounds like he knows what he wants. He also sounds quite manipulative. I realise it's hard to hear pinknails, but he's no good for any woman at the moment.

:T Very well said indeed. I hope the OP reads your post.

sunshinetours

pupsicola wrote: »

You haven't actually given the OP any advice. Just criticised her for asking for help the way she has and told the rest of us that our opinions are horrendous and that we cant add up. Dont fall off that pedestal love you are a long way up :rotfl: :rotfl::rotfl:

Nope no criticism just saw the irony (apparently wasn't the only one)

Can't really see how this thread can prompt any meaningful advice to be honest. The Op knows the man better than any of us so only she can know whether she can live with this situation or not. Its sounds like the guy left his previous missus to be with her and theree is a child involved - never going to be easy for her.

My issue was a band of vultures all jumped in early without truly knowing all the facts (I appreciate that rarely stops anyone on these forums!) and start shouting "dump him".

I also did and still do wished the OP well, by hoping she gets some resolution to her situation

Have a lovely day

pinknails

Thankyou for all of your replies. Im sorry but I had to write it all down somewhere, so thanks for taking the time to reply to me.

This afternoon I have indeed finished it. Toughest decision that i've had to make in a long time. And im sticking to it. Seems no matter how much you love someone when they hurt you you have to question the point . Doing this for myself and moving on.

Signing off for now.
Take care, Pinknails x

Sublime_2

I'd just read your first post only, and was going to reply. Glad you did so. xxx

brokeinyorkshire

Pink Shoes.

I applaud you for this.

I split with my ex one month before Christmasfor the same reasons and although things haven't been easy I am holding my head up.

Things can only get better.

Take care.

J

Bloomin_Freezing2

Very brave of you Pinkshoes, I hope you find happiness elsewhere soon. It's a shame not all of us are as brave, I'm contenplating sticking a hammer in OH's head tonight (Joke!, but very tempted), really I should shove him out. x