A plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it :)

ZTD

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

I wrote in a letter once.:cool:

How long did that work for?

ZTD

Butti wrote: »

Although it would probably be more effective if you just wrote it on a piece of paper and passed it to him

But that's only one step removed from passing a bit of paper and giving it to him.

And that's a bit shit...

elantan

Z I think I need you to sort out my personal crap me dear .... I need those difficult questions that some shy away from and I badly badly want some things sorted

I could say sooooo many things about mr b bob but I know you wil get there and didn't want to add any more stress honey

elantan

And no u ain't the Doolittle lama z .... Your much better looking that him lol

Karmacat

boredofbeingathome wrote: »

It probably will, apparently i have upset him now.

I don't know how i did that..it is all to do with questioning him and the fact that i am doing it on purpose.

For the life of me though, i don't remember putting the debit card in his hands and making him withdraw all that money <insert shruggy smiley> How remiss of me to make him do that, i am thoroughly bad.

This ended up being a couple of pages back, Bob, and I think its a really important statement of yours - you're being blamed for his spending.

Does Mr Bob work? How long does he want to go on working? Does he want a pension in his old age? Does he want to be one of those pensioners that have to drag themselves to the local supermarket at the age of 75 to be a cashier 3 days a week, because they have no money? (Ive been thinking about pensions a lot recently)....

ZTD wrote: »

Because he wished to end the conversation, so pulling the little-boy strop is used because it has proved to be effective in the past at ending the conversation. Same with the sulking. Perhaps when he starts talking again you should say "Is there something wrong? You're not due to stop sulking until next Wednesday."

He has no defence for his actions and he knows it. All he has is distraction and attrition, so that's what he does.

Totally agree with this. People who know they're in the wrong do that a lot.

taxi73

that's some serious over spending going on..if he genuinely doesn't know what he's spent it on then he needs to do a honest spending diary to account for every penny...it must be so frustrating for you.

redsquirrel80

Morning Bob - yep you've upset him, by pointing out what he's done wrong - it's like when you're a kid misbehaving and you get caught...

I wonder if he even knows what he's spent the money on.. we all know how easy it is to fritter away bits and pieces. Like Taxi says a spending diary might be in order - might shock him into seeing what he's wasting it on.

boredofbeingathome

ZTD wrote: »

How long did that work for?

That would be about a weeks worth of contrition. He is very good at thinking he has done things and then *not* doing them. A bit like a fly following a sh*t cart and thinking its a wedding..( another saying)

boredofbeingathome

Karmacat wrote: »

This ended up being a couple of pages back, Bob, and I think its a really important statement of yours - you're being blamed for his spending.

Does Mr Bob work? How long does he want to go on working? Does he want a pension in his old age? Does he want to be one of those pensioners that have to drag themselves to the local supermarket at the age of 75 to be a cashier 3 days a week, because they have no money? (Ive been thinking about pensions a lot recently)....



Totally agree with this. People who know they're in the wrong do that a lot.

Mr.B is a manager and it is a job where he has to balance to the penny.:cool:

I agree about the pension and the mortgage as well, that one has been on my mind a lot lately too.

Yes i recognize behaviours, but also need to recognize my reaction to his behaviour and how i deal with it.

I think i have mentioned in the past that i do get a lot of external pressure from family to sort it out.

I must admit that i did reply once with a Z'ism, re there's a job for you now, if i can't manage to do it then you can do it..what a relief. I hardly saw their backside for dust..:o:rotfl:

I also get a lot of support from DS and DD2 who are happy to tell it like it is. However, i don't want them too involved as this is between us.

boredofbeingathome

taxi73 wrote: »

that's some serious over spending going on..if he genuinely doesn't know what he's spent it on then he needs to do a honest spending diary to account for every penny...it must be so frustrating for you.

I thoroughly agree Taxi, i am not always brilliant at keeping one myself. Although i take out a certain amount and use only that. I know i can do better as well.
I have made all my sandwiches for the week so i am saving on those, i felt that a habit has been developing since Christmas and being tired after the flu..

I use one of those little Tesco notepads..Oh my, when i look at what i have spent in the past and where i could have saved:eek:

Onwards and upwards. I felt so energised after getting it off my chest and thanks to you lot i had a really good nights sleep.:D Amazing what a good talk does. Thanks. x