Baby advice - please help

threemuttleys

thank you.

I will have alook at that book...wonder if the library has it. I dont think I am in the camp of being able to let Alex scream himself to sleep ( I think he is gets his stubbornness from me!)

stepharoo

I am going to start with saying now that I am firmly in the 'respond to your baby' camp with this one, but I co-slept, used a sling, fed entirely on demand (sometimes for hours and hours) and generally did a lot of attachment parenting when my daughter was a baby. She's a happy, independent, sociable toddler now and I am glad I did parent that way as it's worked for us.

12 weeks is still very tiny to be left to cry and I think there is a reason it breaks your heart - he's been independent of you for far less time than not iykwim? I understand you have to get things done around the house, so why not try wearing your baby in a sling? He'll be comforted by the sound of your heartbeat and your warmth, and you might find it makes things easier for you in the long run

In terms of the dry skin, it could be down to the bath every night, maybe you could amend his night time routine a little so instead of a feed in the bath, you could snuggle up with him in a darkened room and nurse him there, and see if it makes a difference. We also didn't bathe our daughter every night (infact when she was tiny, we bathed her maybe twice a week), but just cleaned up her nappy area and haven't had problems with dry skin. If you can get to a Lush shop, give Dream Cream a go, it's amazing stuff.

I am seconding what rachbc said in that there is no right and wrong and you will find a way that works for you, good luck!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

The most important thing is this (and its the best advice i've ever been given)

YOU, and only YOU, will know whats best for your baby. We can all give you examples of what we have done, but that doesnt mean it will work on your baby. Take what you think will work, try it, if it doesnt work first time, perserver, if it REALLY isnt working, try another tactic.

When DD was born, I took sudacream into hospital. The nurse threw it away when she saw it. She told me that sudacream acts as a barrier, the nappy will soak up the cream, the wee will stay on top, the baby will get nappy rash. (Makes sense when you think about it lol) And from that day I've never ever put anything on DD and she's never ever had nappy rash. I've never personally bathed DD every night (I've always washed her daily, with a sponge but only bathed twice a week unless she was sick on herself). Her routine was 6pm wind down time, feed, wind, change nappy, change clothes, up to bed, night light on, story in bed, and out we walked. We did get one of those night light mobile things though, that put the pictures on the ceiling and plays music. If she cried, we went in, checked she was ok, if she was ok we soothed her, settled her and put her back in her cot. When we did bathe her, we did it in the day at my mums (I had an op when DD was little and couldnt move my neck so mum helped)

Even now, DD's routine is the same. 6pm, wind down time, story time downstairs, ten to seven kisses and cuddles, quick drink of water (VERY small amount) and then 7pm in bed, She sleeps through until I wake her at 6am the next day. (shes 3)

I tried the comforting stage with DD but because of my op i physically couldnt keep it up so DD had to cry. Eventually she settled herself or she cried her self to sleep. First few times it was heart breaking, after that, I found it a great help that she would settle herself. She still does it now, sometimes she'll cough at night and wake her self up, she'll whimper, then just go back to sleep.
HTH x

Dribblekitten

Hi I spoke to you on the parents thread as my daughter was born the same day!
I could have written the first 2 points- Baby V was like this at night, and still is like this in the day. The night thing got better a few weeks ago - she used to scream the moment we put her in the crib/basket even if she was asleep before hand. One day I put her in there at night and she didn't, she went to sleep, and everynight she does at least one stint in her crib. She is in with us a lot of the time but I figure she'll get there in the end, as she learnt to settle herself, it's jsut that it's warmer with us.
With the screaming in the day we still have an issue with this. I carry her in a sling a lot, or just cuddle her to sleep when my toddler is asleep and we can get some quiet time. If we go out in the car or pram she usually sleeps and can be kept asleep if it's deep enough - again, I know she'll grow out of it one day so just keep waiting and trying her on her own.

Good luck!

rfran

For the dry skin try gentlely coating with olive oil it is the closest oil to the oils in the skin, and so absorbs well (if you think your, lo smells like cooking try mild olive oil)

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

rfran wrote: »

For the dry skin try gentlely coating with olive oil it is the closest oil to the oils in the skin, and so absorbs well (if you think your, lo smells like cooking try mild olive oil)

Not relevant now OP but in case you need to know - Olive oil is also great for cradle cap. Put it on at night, wash it off in the morning.

rach29

How is baby dressed when put down to sleep? I found with all my three that they slept the best when swaddled. They all liked to be swaddled differently however. No1 liked to be swaddled "baby Jesus" style with her head covered & only her face showing. No2 would only settled when swaddled with his right arm left out (strangely this was the arm which was over his head when born) No3 liked to be swaddled "papoose" style with head uncovered but arms & legs tightly tucked in.

If you haven't tried it, give it a go. I firmly believe it brings babies the comfort of feeling enclosed (which they have been for a long time) and is the next best thing to being held close by Mummy, Daddy etc.

Good Luck whatever you try. It does get easier x

Bufger

rach29 wrote: »

How is baby dressed when put down to sleep? I found with all my three that they slept the best when swaddled. They all liked to be swaddled differently however. No1 liked to be swaddled "baby Jesus" style with her head covered & only her face showing. No2 would only settled when swaddled with his right arm left out (strangely this was the arm which was over his head when born) No3 liked to be swaddled "papoose" style with head uncovered but arms & legs tightly tucked in.

If you haven't tried it, give it a go. I firmly believe it brings babies the comfort of feeling enclosed (which they have been for a long time) and is the next best thing to being held close by Mummy, Daddy etc.

Good Luck whatever you try. It does get easier x

This is so true. Our LO likes to have his blanket tight with his head uncovered but the blanket has to cover his ears. Its an artform now! he does go straight to sleep when we do this though.

pinkshoes

I second olive oil for dry skin!

I thought my DS (8 wks) was crying because I wasn't there, but then I realised he was crying because he'd woken up, wasn't tired, and was BORED! I just make sure there's something interesting for him to look at if he wakes, and generally he then goes back to sleep*.

* I say generally, because at the moment, he's going through a growth spurt, so demanding milk on an hourly basis, which is interrupting his and my sleep!

daleigha

threemuttleys wrote: »

My beautiful little boy is 12 weeks old. He is lovely, and I love being him mummy, but we are having a few problems that I hope some of you more experience parents can help.

Firstly, He doesnt like being left alone. I cant leave him to have a nap and go and get some housework done, he just screams the house down the minute he realises im gone. Yesterday he just screamed and screamed, (was clean and recently fed) I picked him up, and instantly quiet. I dont know what to do about this?

secondly, he will not go to sleep without us. again will just scream and scream, last night we thought we would try putting him down to bed at a reasonable hour, (quarter past 8) he was still shouting at 9.15 (all the baby books say he should have given up and gone to sleep long before then!) 9.30, I went up to bed and he went straight to sleep

thirdly ( I dont know if this links with the other issues) He has developed very dry skin on his back, right shoulder and one of his legs. Looks to me like eczema, but again im not sure, as ive never had it. I do bathe him nightly (as part of our supposed bed time routine) but I dont use any product, dry him throughly, and use no creams etc...am I doing it wrong? please help

My little boy is 7 weeks old, and here's what we do:

1. He doesn't like being left alone either - as soon as he notices we aren't there he starts crying. I usually wait until he's asleep in the afternoon to do some housework, or if he's awake I'll put him in his bouncy chair and bring him into the kitchen, for example, with me, and chat to him while making the dinner or whatever. Earlier on I had clothes to hang on the clothes horse upstairs, so I brought him up and put him in his cot with his mobile going - he cried a bit, but I just kept popping in every minute or so from the room next door to say hello to him. I also talk loudly to him from whatever room I'm in so he knows I'm still close.

2. During the afternoon, as soon as I notice him starting to get sleepy, I pop him down on the sofa beside me (we have a really wide, flat sofa) and he goes off to sleep himself, knowing I'm right there, but not holding him. This is a little restrictive as I can't really go far, but it gives me some nice relaxing time, or I can do housework downstairs, close by. After doing this for a few days we started trying it at bedtime, now he is taken upstairs at 8pm, nappy changed, into PJ's and given a bottle, all very quietly. We will cuddle him until he is quite sleepy, then he is put into his cot and we stay by the cot until he is asleep - we never lift him out but stroke his head or put our hand on his chest so he knows we are there. It's been getting quicker and quicker as the days go on, so I'm hoping that soon enough we'll be able to just put him in the cot and leave.

3. My son has been bathed four times in seven weeks, and his skin is great - it maybe is that you are bathing him a little too often. I also didn't want him to associate a bath with going to bed, as there are bound to be nights is just isn't practical - if we are out for example. I do wash him every morning of course!!

Good luck, we have only got where we are through trial and error, it's so hard knowing what to do!! Hope you get your evenings back soon xxx