Baby advice - please help

threemuttleys

My beautiful little boy is 12 weeks old. He is lovely, and I love being him mummy, but we are having a few problems that I hope some of you more experience parents can help.

Firstly, He doesnt like being left alone. I cant leave him to have a nap and go and get some housework done, he just screams the house down the minute he realises im gone. Yesterday he just screamed and screamed, (was clean and recently fed) I picked him up, and instantly quiet. I dont know what to do about this?

secondly, he will not go to sleep without us. again will just scream and scream, last night we thought we would try putting him down to bed at a reasonable hour, (quarter past 8) he was still shouting at 9.15 (all the baby books say he should have given up and gone to sleep long before then!) 9.30, I went up to bed and he went straight to sleep

thirdly ( I dont know if this links with the other issues) He has developed very dry skin on his back, right shoulder and one of his legs. Looks to me like eczema, but again im not sure, as ive never had it. I do bathe him nightly (as part of our supposed bed time routine) but I dont use any product, dry him throughly, and use no creams etc...am I doing it wrong? please help

Bufger

Sorry no advice here but my son is 8 weeks and i can see very similar things happening to us! i'll keep an eye on any advice you get and give you a free bump up the list.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

threemuttleys wrote: »

My beautiful little boy is 12 weeks old. He is lovely, and I love being him mummy, but we are having a few problems that I hope some of you more experience parents can help.

Firstly, He doesnt like being left alone. I cant leave him to have a nap and go and get some housework done, he just screams the house down the minute he realises im gone. Yesterday he just screamed and screamed, (was clean and recently fed) I picked him up, and instantly quiet. I dont know what to do about this?

secondly, he will not go to sleep without us. again will just scream and scream, last night we thought we would try putting him down to bed at a reasonable hour, (quarter past 8) he was still shouting at 9.15 (all the baby books say he should have given up and gone to sleep long before then!) 9.30, I went up to bed and he went straight to sleep

your child is used to being picked up when hecries - try controlled crying. DONT pick him up straight away, If, when you do pick him up and there's nothing wrong with him, put him back down. (I know this sounds awful, obviously dont go leaving him for hours and hours)

My mum has custody of my niece (shes 1) my niece knows the minute she wimpers, nana comes running. She tried it at my house, she didnt get very far lol She associates that nana's the soft touch, where as im not.

You must rememebr, your baby is still quite young, let him cry for 5 min first time, second time, leave him a little longer. Eventually he'll settle.

thirdly ( I dont know if this links with the other issues) He has developed very dry skin on his back, right shoulder and one of his legs. Looks to me like eczema, but again im not sure, as ive never had it. I do bathe him nightly (as part of our supposed bed time routine) but I dont use any product, dry him throughly, and use no creams etc...am I doing it wrong? please help

I was always told never to bathe DD every night. Shes never had any creams on her bum (ever) and has never suffered with nappy rash or any skin complaint. I rememeber there was a publication written about bathing nightly which said something about it takes the oils out of the skin (which would create the dry skin) I'm looking for the link now but nets slow! it was from The American Academy of Paediatrics and was in the daily mail (I cant get link - comps about to die!)

threemuttleys

Bufger wrote: »

Sorry no advice here but my son is 8 weeks and i can see very similar things happening to us! i'll keep an eye on any advice you get and give you a free bump up the list.

thank you..glad im not the only one!

Lilium

My son didn't like being left alone either and needed cuddles to get him to sleep too...it's perfectly normal. I bought a baby carrier and wore him when I needed to do housework...he'd quite happily watch me or fall asleep in that whilst I got a few jobs done, so win for both of us...I got food/washing on/bathroom cleaned/etc and his need to be close to mummy was satisfied at the same time.

For bed time, he'd have a bath, then a bottle, then some cuddles till he'd "switched off" enough to be put down....only took 5 mins. Otherwise he'd just fidget, cry and not go to sleep. Sometimes babies just need a bit of help getting to sleep.

The dry skin, could be eczema...my son has this too. His started when he was 6 months as just one dry patch on his back that'd go bright red in the bath (even when the bath was just water alone). Now he gets patches behind his knees, elbows and a bit on his back...we went to the docs and got some steriod cream and oilatum for the bath. They didn't clear it up though...only thing that worked was once the central heating was turned off in summer. Now the heating's back on he's got these dry patches again...Dream Cream from Lush helps calm them down but so far I've not found anything that clears them up completely. Unfortunately, eczema is one of those things where it's trial and error to find what works and what works for one person might not for someone else.

threemuttleys

mommyme wrote: »

I was always told never to bathe DD every night. Shes never had any creams on her bum (ever) and has never suffered with nappy rash or any skin complaint. I rememeber there was a publication written about bathing nightly which said something about it takes the oils out of the skin (which would create the dry skin) I'm looking for the link now but nets slow! it was from The American Academy of Paediatrics and was in the daily mail (I cant get link - comps about to die!)

This is what im finding frustrating, so much confilicting advice isnt there!

I will stop bathing him for a week or two and see what happens. I do use Non Bio soap powder and Alex is solely breast fed

threemuttleys

your child is used to being picked up when hecries - try controlled crying. DONT pick him up straight away, If, when you do pick him up and there's nothing wrong with him, put him back down. (I know this sounds awful, obviously dont go leaving him for hours and hours)

My mum has custody of my niece (shes 1) my niece knows the minute she wimpers, nana comes running. She tried it at my house, she didnt get very far lol She associates that nana's the soft touch, where as im not.

You must rememebr, your baby is still quite young, let him cry for 5 min first time, second time, leave him a little longer. Eventually he'll settle.

I will give that go...broke my heart not going to him last night, when we went to go to bed, he'd been sick and cried himself hoarse...felt awful

threemuttleys

Lilium wrote: »

My son didn't like being left alone either and needed cuddles to get him to sleep too...it's perfectly normal. I bought a baby carrier and wore him when I needed to do housework...he'd quite happily watch me or fall asleep in that whilst I got a few jobs done, so win for both of us...I got food/washing on/bathroom cleaned/etc and his need to be close to mummy was satisfied at the same time.

For bed time, he'd have a bath, then a bottle, then some cuddles till he'd "switched off" enough to be put down....only took 5 mins. Otherwise he'd just fidget, cry and not go to sleep. Sometimes babies just need a bit of help getting to sleep.

The dry skin, could be eczema...my son has this too. His started when he was 6 months as just one dry patch on his back that'd go bright red in the bath (even when the bath was just water alone). Now he gets patches behind his knees, elbows and a bit on his back...we went to the docs and got some steriod cream and oilatum for the bath. They didn't clear it up though...only thing that worked was once the central heating was turned off in summer. Now the heating's back on he's got these dry patches again...Dream Cream from Lush helps calm them down but so far I've not found anything that clears them up completely. Unfortunately, eczema is one of those things where it's trial and error to find what works and what works for one person might not for someone else.

Im so glad it isnt just me!

I have got a sling (use it for dog walking) but never thought to use it around the house...will deffo give that a go.

Bed time is usually, a bath (with me) breast feed in the bath, then into sleepsuit/sleeping bag, and then I cuddle up with him in our bed, and feed till he is sleepy, dummy in and then put into cot. The only problem being that he will not stay asleep while we are not with him..which is frustrating, as I would like our evenings back..atm we either go to bed when he does, or vice versa!

rachbc

You are basically going to get 2 ltos fo conflicting advice I think - but ony you can decide what will work for you and your family

Advie 1 will be the 'tough love' school of leaving them to 'cry it out', get used to self settling, have a strict routine and stick to it.

Advice 2 will tell you to respond to your baby, use the sling to carry them about so you can get on with stuff and keep them close and happy. if you fall into this camp and would like to get some time in the evenings the 'No cry Sleep Solution' might have some ideas.

Persoanlly I don't think there is a right or wrong way but I could never leave mine and went with second approach and they haven't turned into horrific brats as a reasult!

CRANKY40

You can program them to sleep to something else, but it takes time. Start by patting him to sleep while listening to a cd or radio. Move on by placing baby in the cot and doing the patting there while playing the music. Eventually just the music should send the grumpy one to sleep, and this is also handy if they wake in the night. Apply music and wait for the zzzzz. It did mean we had to take a portable cd player on our first few uk holidays, but it does mean that ds aged 6 goes to bed, lies down and is asleep in minutes, because it's what he's used to (music no longer required).

Happynewmum

My son was very much like that-very clingly.Could only sleep on or with me. Couldnt do anything without him.Even had to put the washing out with him in one hand.But too be fair-I dont think i helped. First child, always picking him up.Found it was easier for me for him to sleep with me as I was breast feeding so the poor kid had no chance.I got him into some bad habits.But you do what you do at the time-so I'm not hard on myself. I think after time and alittle discipline by mummy or daddy or both, they just grow out of it Even though my lil one is a toddler he still has to follow me around but thats ok.But he can also spend some time on his own. As for skin problems-I never bathed him in the typical baby products as they seem laiden with chemicals.I always looked for something with no parabens and foaming agents and were as gentle as possible. I also, for the first 6months, I only creamed him with pure olive oil-no creams.Then when I did use a cream, again, as natural as possible. I also never, and still dont, bathe him every night.Every other night, unless hes dirty, had an accident etc. Hope that helps, and good luckxx