Expensive Reception wanted by my wife to be: am I being unfair?

mummyroysof3

celyn90 wrote: »

But it doesn't matter - what matters is that you aren't happy with the idea - therefore it's a no go; even if you can afford it You both have to find something you are happy with - it's about both of you. I would never ever make my fiance do something he was uncomfortable with - if he's not happy then I am not happy - how could I be?

OH's ex-wife told him after the wedding that it was a disappointment as it wasn't as lavish as she wanted. Her other demands - he was a failure for not giving her the wedding she wanted, the house she wanted, the lifestyle she wanted formed one of the statements on his divorce petition three years later. And she never lifted a finger to get a job to help fund her own demands; just expected him to be the provider on account of being male. He left with 20K worth of debt because of her expensive tastes.

thats awful :mad:women like that annoy me

my wedding cost around £3k we had a great day, so not sure what to say to OP

ellay864

Somebody (maybe not you!) needs to get her to decide what her priority is. It should be about marraige, not just the wedding. To her £7K may not seem a ridiculous figure when you hear of weddings costing much more but if that's just the reception alone you can add in a hell of a lot more. If she wants the nice church and the grand reception venue I'd put money on her not wanting a budget dress for starters. Then the bridesmaids outfits, cars, photographer, video, cake, decorations....somehow I get the feeling she won't be looking at cheapie or doing without? You could get close to doubling your figure if she gets really carried away with this dream wedding idea.
She needs to decide if she wants one big day with all the trimmings then staying renting where you are for years to come, or whether she wants a nice but ever-so-slightly more realistic wedding and married life in a nice house of your own

leightonb

Stephb1986 wrote: »

What part of the country are you from? Just thinking we can look at some lovely national trust properties near you.

Steph xx

Thanks Steph, we are in South Norfolk.

emsbet

I think she is being very unreasnable. Just because you have a nuce sum saved up (good for you for saving that much btw!) she shouldn't expect you to blow at least half on one day

I think the National Trust idea would be best as suggested. Are you looking at Derbyrshire?
This place is nice and looks like it maybe cheaper
http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-sudburyhall/w-sudbury-weddings.htm

Bit further away but beautiful
http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-tattershallcastle/w-tattershall-weddings.htm


Can you get one of her close girl friends to have a chat with her and make her see that it's unnecessary to spend that amount?

Good luck


xx

emsbet

leightonb wrote: »

Thanks Steph, we are in South Norfolk.

Ooops! Not sure where I got Derbyshire from! :rotfl:
Well you get the idea -have a looksie on the National Trust website and at properties in your area - I bet you can find something just as beautiful at a fraction of the price!

xx

Starrystarrynight

I never quite understood the want/need to spend masses of cash on a wedding.
A wedding is just one day. A marriage is (hopefully!) for the rest of your lives. Speaks volumes to me as to where the priorities should lie - in building a secure home and future together. You sound very responsible in having saved and having the goal of being able to secure a lovely home in the future.
It seems to me that your OH doesn't realise just how lucky she is.

Dizzie77

I thought it was Derbyshire too - after the reference to Chatsworth Hall.
I was going to suggest another house in Derbyshire - but seemingly the OP wants venues in Norfolk to please his BTB,

ellay864

Have you tried Chatsworth...may be cheaper :rotfl:

Gleeful

Starrystarrynight wrote: »

I never quite understood the want/need to spend masses of cash on a wedding.
A wedding is just one day. A marriage is (hopefully!) for the rest of your lives. Speaks volumes to me as to where the priorities should lie - in building a secure home and future together. You sound very responsible in having saved and having the goal of being able to secure a lovely home in the future.
It seems to me that your OH doesn't realise just how lucky she is.

It's all about keeping up with the Joneses isn't it. The same reason why people are in so much debt. It's all about making people think you are richer than you are.

I don't subscribe to it.

Stephb1986_2

I'm on the website now there is a few so I'll edit the post as I have them

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-felbrigg-hall/w-felbrigghallgardenandpark-weddings.htm

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-angleseyabbeyandgardenandlodemill/w-angleseyabbeyandgardenandlodemill-weddings.htm

here's a bigger list with quite a few on

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-global/w-localtoyou/w-eastengland/w-wedding_ceremonies-eastofengland-3.htm

HTH

Steph xx