To new beginnings. To the pursuit of...somethingness.

youareallhelpingme

I hope you enjoyed the wine. :eek:to the presentation. Sometime empowered women can be really :mad: because they think they are "doing it right" when actually they are just arrogant and rude and self rightious.

DH used to look fit in his sports gear too

moo2moo

Don't think I've ever seen OH in sports gear other than padded lycra cycling shorts which made him look like he was wearing a nappy. That look doesn't do it for me.

MrsMoo2U

Morning all, it is a gloriously sunny day today but very cold. I love mornings like this I feel so alive and raring to go (she says sitting sipping tea at the kitchen table)
I took Moo out on a very long walk up out of the village last night. It started as a short quick whizz to the park as I had been out all day. It was so beautiful out there though as the sky was inky black and filled with the twinkliest stars to near bursting point so I headed up the mountain road to the graveyard and we just sat on the bench looking at the sky. It was the most peaceful I have felt in a long time and the scale of the universe seemed to suddenly be so apparant to me. It certainly puts things into perspective when I am stressing over silly little things when other people have major things to deal with.Today I am going to attempt to be a domestic goddess a la Moo2Moo style

Cheery - see EHs reply and that just about sums up yesterday, although to be fair most of them were lovely but a couple spoiled the whole thing for the others I think. I must make a note to myself to work out better responses to people like this in the future

Loving all the sports gear/demob suits talk. Cheery, careful, if I remember rightly Mr Daffs is about my age and I certainly wasnt around just after the war. Actually I love the way that you describe him I have a vision of a rather dapper, classy, artistic man in mind whenever I hear the name Mr Daffs. And what a fab man the "other" man must have been to know you well enough to understand that you were destined to be with Mr Daffs.
I recently read Chris Evans second book and he writes so beautifully about the time he realised that he had to let Billy Piper go and how tearful they both were but he knew it was the right thing to do. My Nan once said to me when I was little that "if you love somebody enough you should let them go, it is the greatest gift that you can ever give to somebody and if they love you back then you will always be friends" those were her exact words and although I was only 9 (she was telling me in the context of a friend who was moving away) they seemed to be engrained in my memory. They have come in handy on several occassions. Mr C being a point in case. I often think and realise now how wise my Nana was.

MrsMoo2U

Another beautiful day here. Just stopped for an hours lunch break in my very busy day. Spent yesterday decluttering 2 bedrooms (one of which is my office) and moving furniture around to make better use of space. In the declutter I discovered a couple of things that can be ebayed perhaps. Still the Room of doom to sort out and eventually move my office into there.
I have just ordered free potatoe kit via the grabbit boards. That will form the start of my new challenge to get the garden usable by mid March. I am determined that this year I am going to sit in the garden to work.
Last night I did a full SOA - scared now. Based on the fact that Mr C has no income and we are running 2 properties then I am in negative balance. That is not allowing for savings towards any unexpected hiccoughs. So when he comes home we need to have a serious discussion about moving things forward with my flat.

I am reluctant to sell it whilst continuing to live in his house. He has a son and a father who I know would have me out on my ear should anything happen to him and so I really need the security blanket of having my own place. However I have been thinking over the last 2 weeks whilst he has been away that I really need to broach the subject re putting things on a more committed footing. I dont want anything from his profit on the house but I am thinking that if I am going to be paying the mortgage again and also given the amount of money that I have started to invest in the property then I really need to know that it is going to be a good investment for me and not his Son and Dad should anything happen. I know that sounds morbid but I have come to realise over the last few years that I am a bit of a control freak (only in respect of myself not other people) since I have been forced in the past to pick up many pieces in the wake of others mess.

Cheery_Daff

Sounds like you really need an honest chat about it cherisong. Do you think he will be reluctant? Is there a possibility of selling your flat and keeping the money aside as your 'just in case' money? You don't necessarily need your own place - you need a means to live, and that might mean money to rent for a while? Would that be enough of a security for you?

Sorry, I'm thinking quickly, hope you work it out xx

hypno06

It is not being morbid, it is being practical and sensible. But it does require a proper conversation and that can be quite a toughie over such a big thing, regardless of how good your relationship is/has always been.

So, I don't envy you the talk, but at least you have your place to throw into the mix so you cannot at any time be accused by any party of just trying to "take" from them.

Good luck xx

MrsMoo2U

Thanks Cheery for taking the time out to answer, I know how busy you are right now so much appreciated.
Thanks Hypno for understanding.
I was coming back on to delete this as I had a bit of a panic putting it out there.

We have had a chat about this on several occasions and he is not averse to doing something but it is one of those things that just never gets done if you see what I mean. I guess that hearing about a friend who has recently died (younger than me) started me thinking about it again. We need to do more than have a conversation now, we need to take action. You are right Hypno with regards to my property that has always been in the mix and I see it as us both benefitting from it in the long run. The problem would lie entirely with his family and I guess my gripe really is that this is not the house that I would have chosen to buy had I had a choice so I guess that I am starting to think why should I invest my money into it if I am not really settled here and, should anything happen,I would have to walk away with nothing in return for my investment (which, by the way, is considerably more than the flat)

Lots to think about and work out over the coming weeks. I will be setting deadlines on some action being taken I think. That or I will sell my flat and buy somewhere that I can move into and he can rent his house and move in with me!

youareallhelpingme

You are definately right to think about it. Not just the direction you are thinking but also, should god forbid, something happen to you what do you want to happen to the flat if you still own it. If it went to MrC then it may end up by default with the son :eek:.

I am sure after the holiday he has just had with his son he will have missed you, loved you buying a pint at the bar and be ready to talk when you get back. x

MrsMoo2U

:eek::eek::eek: SON!!! Well if and when I am gone then I guess I wouldn't really care too much I do want anything, in the first instance to go to Mr C if he survived me, after that I guess it would be nothing to do with me then. However should he go first I would definitely ensure that anything that was wholly mine (ie equity in flat) would be divided equally between my nieces and nephews - which has always been the case. At this point in time I would be no better off should Mr C pop his clogs as there is not that much equity in the house. However if I am to continue paying towards the mortgage I hope to start getting it down a bit. If that be the case then any equity that is already there would, rightly, be due to his son. From the point that I take on the mortgage officially I think it right that any equity over and above the current amount should be shared.

I cant even believe that I am thinking like this. :eek:

40somethingmum

Hi Cherisong,

I have only just discovered your diary and have got to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading it. I plan to be a regular visitor from now on

Love

40SMxx