The Giving Up Smoking Thread - Part 3

clb776

Sue-UU wrote: »

Hi clb776 and a very warm welcome to the thread where you can get support from us all, ex smokers and 'quitters in progress' alike, everyone pitches in as they all know how vita lit is to quit fags for good!!

Your husband wants you to cut down, but not to stop as he keep throwing cigs at you and smoking around you?!!!!! :mad: What a rotten s**** he is, if you don't mind me saying so. He should be going outside of the house for both the little one and for you so as to give you the chance you so desperately need.

I know you say you can quit all right, but it's the staying quit that you find a problem. I think all of us here have said, and meant, that in ours pasts; however, you then use every ounce of willpower you can muster, use different tips to help and read the AC book as much as you need to..over and over again if that's what it takes to quit smoking and see your little one grow up!

We CAN help you, clb776, but you need to help you too...not just the first day, but every single day on - until the cravings quell and you find there really is a great life to be had out there! You CAN show your family and especially your Husband that, taken a day at a time and without anyone throwing fags at you or smoking around you, this is possible for you!!!!

Instead of giving in to that 1st one in the morning, go straight and do something totally different, have a shower, clean your teeth, have a glass of water - anything! Alter things in your life around and do try and change from coffee to tea as coffee and fags all too often go hand in hand. So, for now, forget coffee and have tea or a cold drink, anything that moves your mind from fags.

As soon as you start quitting praise yourself on every 1/2 hr free..then every hour..a whole morning then an entire day!!! That in itself will be huge and give you the excitement and zest to wish to go onto start the next...and the next. You just keep praising yourself as you'll will have earned it!!! IF it makes things easier then have your 'you time' by having an imaginary fag! Go through all the motions using the fingers and inhaling as you would a proper one and exhaling just like you always have. DD did this to get her through and it worked a treat, why don't you try it!

Save the money and keep it so you can slowly save up and by yourself something special - you will have deserved it!!

Keep talking to us and letting go of your feelings, whatever they are - get them down on paper so to speak and follow the advice suggested. Too many folk are lost to cancer each day...you do NOT want to become a statistic you want to watch your little treasure become the person you are gradually creating. You CAN do this and we'll help you through it all and we will be praising you every step.

BTW, if ever you feel like screaming, go in in the bedroom and scream into a pillow to vent your frustration and if you need to cry, please do so as it's vital an nature's way of helping us through.

When you want to jolt yourself if you become a little weak, view your very first post above - then carry on with your quest. It's all possible clb776 IF you have the determination and the willpower to get your life back to what it used to be, to be healthy, smell beautifully and have lovely smelling fresh breath, you deserve it all so make sure you too believe that.

I'm wishing YOU all that I wished for myself all that time ago - LIFE and to to LIVE! Go on and get ready to kiss the old you away. All best wishes and many {{{hugs}}}

Sue x

Thanks for this, it really made me smile and believe in myself! I can do it this time...and I shall not stop until I actually can call myself a non-smoker this time instead of giving myself stupid excuses like ' i just wasn't ready' etc! i'll try again in a few weeks/months/years/never!!

I think the difference is that now I do not even like smoking. I never get to the point where I am so stressed I need a fag and actually enjoy it (which you never really do anyway!!!) because I never actually enjoy or need any cigarette in the first place..I just do cos I am bored, upset, stressed etc, but the fag don't change that...the 5 minutes to myself in silence does! I know all this and tommorrow I shal begin alan carrs book again and begin my journey once more, this time with no pit stops!!!xxx

prepareathome

Hi all, I posted a while ago I wanted to try and give up but then found I just couldn't do it so didn't post again, but now I have been using an electronic cigarette since Monday and not had a real cigarette since 7am Wednesday morning when I smoked my very last. I am not saying its easy, I am sucking like mad on this electronic one but so far not felt bad enough to go and buy real ones. Did pop to stop smoking clinic to get some inhalator's for back up as having a prepaid certificate means at least do not have to pay for them unlike the cartridges for the electronic one. It was great to see my reading was 0 so plan to go back next week just to have reading done as seeing that 0 gave me more of a lift than anything else. At moment unfortunately I am not saving money but hoping once used to this will not have it almost permanently hanging from my mouth so will be able to cut down and start to save some money.

As I mentioned in previous post I spend a lot of time in bed so hard for me to do something else when I want to smoke so this is why I felt even if cannot save money I can do something for my health using the electronic one, it might not be a cure but a step in right direction as I admit I did enjoy smoking but knew I had to give up and I still see myself as a smoker, cannot bring myself to think of a being a non-smoker

Lotus-eater

prepareathome wrote: »

Hi all, I posted a while ago I wanted to try and give up but then found I just couldn't do it so didn't post again, but now I have been using an electronic cigarette since Monday and not had a real cigarette since 7am Wednesday morning when I smoked my very last. I am not saying its easy, I am sucking like mad on this electronic one but so far not felt bad enough to go and buy real ones. Did pop to stop smoking clinic to get some inhalator's for back up as having a prepaid certificate means at least do not have to pay for them unlike the cartridges for the electronic one. It was great to see my reading was 0 so plan to go back next week just to have reading done as seeing that 0 gave me more of a lift than anything else. At moment unfortunately I am not saving money but hoping once used to this will not have it almost permanently hanging from my mouth so will be able to cut down and start to save some money.

As I mentioned in previous post I spend a lot of time in bed so hard for me to do something else when I want to smoke so this is why I felt even if cannot save money I can do something for my health using the electronic one, it might not be a cure but a step in right direction as I admit I did enjoy smoking but knew I had to give up and I still see myself as a smoker, cannot bring myself to think of a being a non-smoker

That's great.

What I found with the e-cig after I started, is that I used it more than I usually smoked, I think this was down to the novelty factor, I could vape inside and didn't have to go outside, like smoking.

After a couple of months it settled down and now I don't vape as much as I smoked.
It also gets you out of some of those trigger situations with smoking, I was used to having a fag on a break, go outside, have fag. Now with no need to go outside, I don't think so much about it.
Maybe a quick vape on the e-cig, then I forget about it.

Good luck and remember there is alot of help out there if you have problems, or any worries about it.

flis21

Day 9 - patches and inhalator

Morning all,

well still haven't smoked, but my cravings are really bad this morning. After having such a good day yesterday I'm quite disappointed, thought this was getting easier!!! but despite really wanting a cig I'm determined not to have one. Just worried as the boys Dad is coming round later and he smokes like a chimney!! I will stay strong tho. May have to use inhalator a bit more today, but that's better than giving into temptation!

Flis x

Sue-UU

Hi there Kiwi! Thanks so much for your input to clb776 as if she thinks about it in that light it could be an enormous help. WOW!!! What some savings you've made, not least of all £2000 savings!!!!!
Lovely to see you and excellent news! :grinheart

Sue x

Not so sure about the running around the yard clucking like a chicken bit, Farzackerly...you may get white-coated men calling round!!! :idea:

Apart from that, we've had several folk on the threads who have tried hypnotherapy and most with marvellous success! Definitely worth consideration, more so too if you can afford the initial pay-out. All the best with whatever you decide.

Sue x

clb776 wrote:

Thanks for this, it really made me smile and believe in myself! I can do it this time...and I shall not stop until I actually can call myself a non-smoker this time instead of giving myself stupid excuses like ' i just wasn't ready' etc! i'll try again in a few weeks/months/years/never!!

I think the difference is that now I do not even like smoking. I never get to the point where I am so stressed I need a fag and actually enjoy it (which you never really do anyway!!!) because I never actually enjoy or need any cigarette in the first place..I just do cos I am bored, upset, stressed etc, but the fag don't change that...the 5 minutes to myself in silence does! I know all this and tommorrow I shal begin alan carrs book again and begin my journey once more, this time with no pit stops!!!xxx

Wonderful thinking, clb776!! Most of us after stopping to think it through, didn't enjoy fags, I know I didn't, but it was just either out of habit or boredom. All the best from here on. Here's the meter Kiwi spoke about, well worth downloading for when you begin http://www.silkquit.org/stop-smoking/quit-meter.aspx

Sue x

Hi again, prepareathome and good to hear you've not had a ciggie since Wednesday. You loved blowing a big fat zero in to the CM meter, so if you're going back to do the same again, why not have a good chat with the Nurse and listen to what she has to advise. I know you say (unlike most people) you enjoy smoking, but I know you said before that you wanted to get to Australia for your Son, but which is more important - your health and your family and getting to Australia or risking going back to real fags and all the terrible health risks???!

You've made the break now from fags, so why not stick to the electronic fag and the inhalator and just keep going with them! Keep off of the fags for good, save up and then go to Australia! You said yourself, it'll be the trip of a lifetime so stick with what you're on now begin the quitting journey for real too!!!

All the best prepareathome,

Sue x

flis21 wrote: »

Day 9 - patches and inhalator

May have to use inhalator a bit more today, but that's better than giving into temptation!

Flis x

You're absolutely correct with that last statement, Flis and that's what I'd have advised anyway.

The sort of day you're experiencing isn't unusual for some folk, it's more the norm and perhaps isn't a bad thing as it stops complacency from creeping in. It gets better though so long as you remain aware of it; this may even be the only day you get that's like it so don't think it's all doom and gloom. If you stop and think about it may even be brought about only because your kiddies' Dad is coming - hence simply thoughts of smoking by association with him - nothing more!

Enjoy the day Flis and enjoy telling him - "I don't smoke any more!" I bet you're ok tomorrow.

Sue x

jacci45

Since Friday night I have had the time from hell...major major worries about one of my children BUT I have not had a cigarette.I have wanted a cigarette but I dont smoke those anymore do I and that mindset has kept me going.
TBH I now know this is my last time for quitting.....smoking would not have made me feel better,in fact I would then have had the additional stress of wanting a ciggie,having a ciggie and then wanting one again etc etc etc.
A Cigarette will not make us feel better in times of stress...our addicted brains just think it will.I have got through the last couple of bad days without them and dont feel any better/worse than if I had given in and had one IYSWIM.
Im just so glad I am now a non smoker and thanks to all esp Sue for your support.If I can get through the stress Im under now without a ciggie I just wish I had stopped a long long time ago.
Sorry im just ranting now...havent slept.

prepareathome

Thanks Sue and Lotus-eater. I had a bad time during the night when I was so very tired but oh did I want a cigarette and it kept me awake till nearly 7am. I didn't give in, our local shop opens at 6.30am every day, and go and buy any and although yes I want one am not going to give in.

My chest today feels heavy so I guess I am about to start clear out, a bit of a cough which is ahem productive, not much but things are moving, this is one of the parts that worries me as I know 6 people who gave up around my age who all now have very bad chest problems all due to the damage from clearing out, yes I know smoking is more dangerous and yes all these excuses are going on in my head, but I am not going to buy or get hubby to buy me any. Years ago I had agoraphobia, which came on a few months after my youngest daughter died then my other two were very ill with Whooping Cough and were hospitlised and just after that hit, it took me quite a while to beat it as I saw it as me against my mind and I know I need to do the same to give up smoking ( ok I have given up as day 4 without one, but to me until craving stops I am still a smoker, at moment I am just a smoker who has not had one for 4 days, a bit like an ex drinker. I know it might seem like setting myself up to fail being like this and its true it might but its just the way I find I can deal with it.

I will also be honest about my one time I did give up, a time I tend to put out of my mind. After I had my second child and there were a few problems I decided I must give up smoking, even though no one mentioned it, but I had, had two children and a few problems over each and thought if I want more must get healthy so gave up and then found it easy as I had only been smoking about 5 years and was only smoking 5 - 10 a day. I was fine and my youngest daughter was fine, no problems like the other two, then the day my daughter died, which was sudden a policewoman offered me a cigarette and I have smoked since and that will be 32 years in March, and I admit although it seems daft there is part of me scared that something will happen to one of my surviving children by giving up. There that is the first time I have put my daft fear into words. I did go on to have my 4th and youngest child and although he was fine at birth had bad asthma, most likely my taking up smoking again and by then I was on 20 a days.

At the moment I am not even thinking of sons wedding as not saving any more from stopping as yet.

My whole body still wants a real cigarette so am sucking away on ecig as usual, but it was lovely yesterday went to hair dresser and then out for a function last night and before and after the meal all the smokers got out and went out and I just stayed at our table and took out my ecig - had to explain to many what it was and assure they I was not subjecting them to anything dangerous.

Just told hubby how today finding it hard and he is no help, telling me well I cannot expect to give up straight away as smoked so long and I said but I have actually given up as not smoked 4 days but he said but you haven't as you still want one, so not much hope of me changing my mind about feeling I am still a smoker with him feeling the same. Also he said we will really see when we next go shopping and you don't buy any then,he has no faith in me at all.

Sue-UU

jacci, you should be feeling so immensely proud of yourself at having coped and not sunk even though times have been really awful for you. I am so delighted that you realised that fags wouldn't have helped at all, in fact the opposite is true, they'd have made it so much worse by creating even your stress! You keep viewing giving up as you are and you could quite easily beat this for GOOD!!!!
You're quite an inspiration and I do so hope things will be much better for you at home.

All best wishes,

Sue x

Oh dear, prepareathome, I truly sympathise so much with you having lost a child, that's terrible for any parent to have to endure and must have been a really bitter blow and awful time for you both. If you believe then you may just have that little guardian angel ready to be helping you through this, I know I did with my Dad-In-Law!!

I agree that your chest tightening up is a sign of it getting ready to get rid of all the muck and rubbish in your lungs, please don't fight it or think awful thoughts about other people and their experiences, you are YOU, so let it happen and let yourself begin to expectorate all that needs to be got rid of - it's wonderful to know you'll be getting rid of it and starting to clear your lungs and then gradually begin to feel a wholly different person. Please don't allow yourself to become like "drs mum" (have a look at part of her story a few pages back), who suffered terribly in the summer due to lung cancer!!!!! She (Brenda) would do anything to stop people having to go trough all she's endured.

You have the the electronic fag and the inhalator, treat them as you would a real ciggie and go through all the inhaling and exhaling just as if it's a real one; it's always possible to play games of pretence so do so now at this crucial stage. You've gone 4 complete days (I believe) so once today is over that will be 5 days gone without a cigarette!!!!! Pepareathome, this is a momentous time for you, please push on and pretend the real thing is no longer for sale! Any little tricks like that which you find helpful - do them! At times when you 'feel' a craving breathe through it (smoking wise) and relax yourself, then pick up a book, photo album, knitting, crochet, go for a walk (if you're able)....anything at all which takes your mind from those disgusting white sticks that have the potential to kill you!!!

Regardless of what your husband thinks, YOU are the person who matters here, make no mistake about that! He is NOT a smoker and perhaps never has been and it's so easy to say what should be and what is, if you haven't a clue. So, don't worry about his concerns, you worry about you and your health.

With regards to agoraphobia, I suffered with that for some years due to another illness I still have, I thought, and my hubby accepted that I'd possibly never be able to quit due to my mundane lifestyle and never seeing anyone else apart from him and the kiddies - but - I was determined it wouldn't beat me and slowly with the help of my DH and social worker I got through that awful hell and then through smoking! If you want this hard enough and if you wish to save up for your Son's Wedding in Australia..believe me it IS possible and CAN be done!

Be so terribly proud of yourself on 4 days without fags in your life (it is a massive achievement!!!), you have other aids use them and the pretence and get yourself away from this life of torment and risks! We will help you, you know that. Use your mind from here on and take yourself away from any thoughts...like the Australia one I suggested a while ago..starting at planning the trip and boarding the plane.....! Have a look at jacci45's post above and so many of the other posts on this thread, you're NOT alone and never will be, but you could be like scores of others on these threads alone - absolutely thrilled to bits at having the courage to begin the journey - and then to keep on, step by step. Courage, determination and willpower!

Sue xx

crazymum_2

Well, nearly through day 4. I woke up this morning feeling just so pleased with myself.
Day 34 no alcohol and Day 4 no smoking - I feel like I'm walking into my new life, not too long ago I would never ever have thought that I could possibly get here. Felt quite emotional about it all day really.

Sue - you are just the most amazing person....I have read all your posts today and learn so much - and am humbled by your lovely, caring, helping nature. Thankyou

Well done everyone - you all seem to be doing so well, I see Allen Carr has influenced quite a few people on here - I learnt so much from his book - I think it's a great book for anyone to read if you want to make sure you never take up smoking again.

Thankyou

flis21

Woohoo, I've made it thru the day. It wasn't easy and a couple of times I really wanted to run down the shop and buy cigs, but I didn't. Actually in the end part of me wanted to prove to my ex I was doing it. I made a big deal of using my inhalator and asking him to shut the door when he went out for a fag!!! Kids in bed now and I'm rewarding myself with some Galaxy Minstrels, yum!!

Also just wanted to second what Crazymum said, Sue you are fab and your support and advice is brilliant. Thank you so much. I'm not sure I would be doing so well if it wasn't for coming on here.

Flis x