Is it bad taste to ask guests to pay for their accommodation?

flea72

becs wrote: »

What a lot of old nonsense! Your friend puts you in the position of choosing between being a bridesmaid or putting food on your family table yet you can afford to pay for the "bridal suite" for revenge!
I would suggest anyone struggling to pay for a bridesmaid dress should usually be a "good" friend of the bride and would therefore feel able to approach her and have a sensible discussion with her like a grown up rather than rather than behaving like a spoilt child.Have you thought about the costs the wedding party incur inviting you to their wedding? They obviously have the invite, the favours, the food, the disco/music that you enjoy to name but a few!

think you have me confused with someone else - ive never stayed in a bridal suite in my life!

but so what how much the bride is spending on their wedding, paying for food, disco, etc. thats their decision to spend that, i have no say in that at all as a guest - but back to the other side of the fence again, why should the bride have a say in how my money gets spent, on their wedding day

strewth some people are so blinkered. what money i put towards my friends wedding should be done so at my own choice, it shouldnt have a price tag attached

its no different to your friend inviting you round their house for a cuppa, and then handing you a bill for electricity and tea bags. im of the opinion if you are invited as a guest, you are not obliged to contribute. i can offer, and i do, but it shouldnt be expected

think thats why alot of people, myself included, wedding lists consisted of nothing. we wanted the presence of our guests, not their presents (as the saying goes) - we wanted them there, and were making it possible for them to do so, without it having to cost them anything other than the clothes on their backs (but so what if they came naked, thats their choice). if we couldnt afford to do it, then it got dropped from the plans, as having our friends/family there was more important than the location, dress, food, disco, etc.

F

themull1

I got married in May 09 for the second time at Comlongon castle near Gretna Green, only had 17 people and the bride and groom, i paid for bridesmaids and best man attire etc, got everything second hand off ebay, the bridesmaids wore whatever shoes they wanted, and i sold everything afterwards on ebay to recoup some of the costs. The guests paid for their own accommodation in the castle, but i told them when i invited them that that was the case, and they were happy with that. I had no gift list, people got me some lovely things, and i bought nice presents for my bridesmaids, best man, and my mam and dad. We had a fab wedding for very little money. I paid for the sarnies/drinks on arrival, and the meal at night with a lot of wine.

themull1

Oh, forgot, and bought a box of chocolates and a scroll to go in every room to say thank you for coming.

becs

Sorry Flea I had lost the who said what whilst reading the thread!
We were exactly the same for our wedding, we deliberately limited it to 50 people so that we could have the quality day that we wanted but without our guests having to fork out. We couldn't pay for guests rooms but did negotiate a very good rate for them. We did pay for our wedding party rooms as I said in an earlier post. All food and drink was paid for. We did have a gift list because our guests kept asking if there was anything we wanted. We made it clear that we expected nothing and our gift range was mainly cutlery sold in individual pieces so if someone wanted to give us a present they did not have to spend a fortune.
I just think that it's a privilage to be asked to be a bridesmaid for someone and as long as the dress is not ridiculous money it shouldn't be a problem. Obviously you would hope that your friend would understand and be aware of your financial situation and be respectful and not ask if it can't be afforded. If however a bride unitentionally is asking for you to spend beyond your means I would hope a discussion between you both would resolve the situation. I only had one bridesmaid and we paid for her dress. We chose a simple prom style from monsoon that was £70 , unfortunately she didn't feel comfortable in it so we took it back. The only dress that she liked and I liked was a proper bridesmaid dress unfortuantely at a cost of £275 which we paid for- My own dress was £250! It's give and take on both sides and both need to be aware of the costs.

CandyApocalypse

It's not bad taste to ask people to pay for their own accommodation at all and I definately wouldn't mind being asked to. I have to say, I don't know if I would stay in a hostel if I had to share a room with other guests, but it depends on your family and friends.

You're already finding out about the room layouts, so you can just pass it along to guests along with the price, and people can either book, or find other accommodation nearby.