Is it bad taste to ask guests to pay for their accommodation?

Cazzdevil

I'm starting to think about possibilities for our probably November wedding, and one idea which has cropped up and is current favourite is to rent out a Youth Hostel in the Scottish borders for the weekend.

The trouble is, we're trying to keep the budget as low as possible and renting the hostel for 2 nights would cost £900 (initial budget was going to be £1k).

Now the hostel sleeps up to 75 people so plenty of our friends and family could stay over, but what I wondered was whether it would it be poor taste/bad etiquette to ask any guests who choose to stay with us in the hostel to pay a small amount towards it? I'm talking something like £10 each per night, but if 30 people chose to stay over then that's £300 off the already burgeoning budget.

I maybe wouldn't feel so bad if it weren't a hostel, but I can't help think it's a bit cheeky to ask people to pay for staying in a bunk bed in a dorm room...

The hostel would be perfect for us in a dozen ways, but it'd stretch the budget past its limits.

So, is it acceptable to ask for a small contribution towards accommodation costs?

elsien

I'm not a hostel person, so if you were inviting me I'd probably think about looking for somewhere else to stay with a bit more privacy than bunkbeds.
However when I was a bit younger and a lot more broke, I'd have been delighted to have been saved the hassle of finding somewhere so cheap. I wouldn't think it cheeky to be given the choice and a token £10 for nights kip after the wedding would be fine. I certainly wouldn't expect you to find the whole amount yourselves.
Maybe check out how many people would probably want to stay there first, and what the other local alternatives for guests are before you commit yourselves.

Torry_Quine

elsien wrote: »

I'm not a hostel person, so if you were inviting me I'd probably think about looking for somewhere else to stay with a bit more privacy than bunkbeds.
However when I was a bit younger and a lot more broke, I'd have been delighted to have been saved the hassle of finding somewhere so cheap. I wouldn't think it cheeky to be given the choice and a token £10 for nights kip after the wedding would be fine. I certainly wouldn't expect you to find the whole amount yourselves.
Maybe check out how many people would probably want to stay there first, and what the other local alternatives for guests are before you commit yourselves.

I agree that a hostel would not be for me so you really need to see if people would want that. Personally I would be very unlikely to go to a wedding that was so far it required an overnight stay but accept that some people can't enjoy themself without a drink so can't drive home. 75 people seems like a lot to me so make sure you have the numbers

emz118

I think, as other have said, it's definitely reasonable, but I'd check who would want to stay there first. How are the rooms set up?

For example, for me, I know that my "uni girls" would be more than happy t oall stay in one room, my Stepdad, mum and sister would share one room, and stepmum, dad and granny would share another, but apart from that I think others may want their own rooms.

But the asking for £10 to stay is not at all unreasonable. I recently went to one of the uni girl's wedding in Cornwall, and we stayed at the hotel venue, which was £35 each in a twin room, which we were pleased with.

pension-newbie

my experience is most people expect to pay for their accommodation. you may get a few awkward relatives, but you can deal with that as you see fit. I always enjoyed staying at the same place as the wedding was being held / couple were staying in

i wouldn't even make a gesture to take some of the cost yourself (but equally don't expect your guests to subsidise your family) just divide number of guests by total cost and ask people for it (whether you do this up front or on the day is more difficult - depends on your cash flow I suppose)

Cazzdevil

The hostel is halfway between our friends and family - we live Newcastle but a lot of my family lives west coast of Scotland and a few of our friends live in the borders so a lot of people would be travelling and would probably need accommodation.

A lot of our friends are mountain bikers so I know the mountain biking lot would be perfectly happy sharing a big room but not so sure about some of the family and the 'odds and sods' of friends (for want of a better word!).

I've made enquiries about how the rooms are split so that will hopefully give me a better idea of how we could arrange people should they choose to stay over.

Thanks for the advice though, I feel a bit better about the possibility of asking for a small contribution.

ellay864

I'd wait til you hear how the rooms are set out; you should be able to check it out on the YHA website. These days many hostels have double/twin, or small family rooms. Some have en suite. It's not like the old days where everyone shares a dorm in grotty bunk beds. You may be pleasantly surprised.

twirlypinky

To be honest, i wouldn't mention that you'd paid for it. I would say that the wedding is at y, and you can either stay at x for just £10, or at another hotel for whatever you fancy paying. Or actually, contact another hotel for a rate, so you can say either x for £10 or z for £50 or whatever.

7roland8

I don't think guests would mind at all.
Tell them about the hostela nd ask who'll be wnating to stay - so you can get an idea of numbers early on.
Also list the local hotels and their rates.
Be prepared to ring people as I expect a lot won't get back to you.
I'd definitely ask them al to pay their way - everyone paying their own stay is fine.
Think the days of lots of huge dorms are long gone - and if the younger ones go in the communal rooms there'll be no problem.
Much better than taxis and driving.
Good luck.

giddypenguin

We've stayed over at almost every wedding we've ever been to - and have always had to pay... I have never ever expected anyone to put me up for the night! Often people get discounts - we've managed to negociate about 20% off our room rates for our wedding night - but guests are paying for their own!

NotTheWippleman

When my friends got married last year, everyone else had to pay for their own bits- Accomodation, confetti... Even the bridesmaids and bestman/ushers had to pay for their own suits! Cue lots of arguments on what was affordable!

Out of retaliation, I booked the honeymoon suite for where the wedding was booked. I refused to change room when the manager explained why. Oh, anonymity how I love thee!

:T

xx