keep the Nanny I'm not happy with & save money? or not?

cannyscot_2

PP

I think that is it , without being I don't want you to do this i dont want you to do that I will just be more prescriptive.-that's what i'd do at work.

and if this doesn't work I will sack !

Yes I feel better now thanks.

Somehow children's issues become large and overwhelming !!

thank you all for your time and wisdom.

Nicki

Maybe you need to give things time to settle down a bit, coupled with a frank discussion?

I have two children, one with a serious learning difficulty and challenging behaviour. I've had the same nanny for 6 years. 2 years ago she had a child whom she now brings to work with her. For the first few months after she came back after maternity leave, I felt she spent more time with her child than mine, and things were a bit difficult. After a while though, and as her child got older and more independent, things evened out again. I am really glad that we stuck with it through the difficult phase as she is a real treasure.

Some issues:

1 are her child's activities also suitable for your child? If so your child is gaining rather than losing by the arrangment

2 are there activities which your child once did but is not doing now? If so it is reasonable to insist that these are reinstated immediately

3. shopping with two young children is hard work. Is she really doing this a lot or was this a one-off? If she only works 3 days a week I'd be surprised she chose to do this on a regular basis. As an occasional thing, this is a useful exercise for a child

4. it is very hard to find a nanny prepared to look after a child with a disability and you will have to pay slightly more for this unless you are very lucky

5. does the nature of your child's disability make it difficult to engage her in normal activities for a child of her age? Does your nanny need more training on how to cope with this?

6. How often does she really ask you to come home early. If infrequently, you may want to continue to accommodate her to keep relationship good, but if it really doesn't suit, just say no. She won't leave at 4.30 and leave your child at home alone! I suspect if she has a real problem about this and decides to leave over the head of it, you would get a refund of your agency fee.

bobsa1

I've never had a nanny but have had 3 dd's and if you are not happy talk to her about it. It sounds as though you have been really nice and perhaps without meaning too she has taken advantage.

You could sit down with her and work out a weekly plan, if her daughter is at an activity your son would like, great, if not she'll have to work out a way for her daughter to go that does not involve her using her working time or your son (she might need to get a bit of childcare)

I guess you are paying about £100 for 3 days (sorry if I've got that wrong) and ultimatley if you are paying you are the employer.

Penny-Pincher!!

How old is your child?

cannyscot_2

Thanks i've decided now. She is asking me once a week to come home early. the activity for her child is notand cannot be inclusive for mine-he's just hanging about. My child's disability just means being more careful and doesn't really change anything. I pay her 7.50 an hour plus meals and I pay for all actvities/lunches out etc but get 40 % deduction on £243 a month. but i'm led to believe that is a good rate. I've come to the conclusion I'm a mug! Now armed with your advice I will deal with it.

Thanks

Katyag

£7.50 p/h is a bloody good wage for a nanny! Mind you i stopped late 2001 so i guess times have changed.

Good luck with what ever you have decided, and if you come further North look me up! lol

Poppy9

If she is only working for you for 3 days and wants to finish early one of those days every week she is not really meeting your requirements.

I would also take up with the agency that provided her regarding the issues you have.

CFC

What kind of contract do you have with your nanny, or is the contract with the agency? Employment law is a funny old business, you know, and I know zilch about any special pitfalls or loopholes in this particular employment area.

At work you'd agree written objectives during a meeting on how the employee was doing - why not do the same in this employee relationship? That way you have an agreement as to how you want your child to be treated and what activities, if any, she can undertake during your own paid time.

I have no idea whether you're paying her well or not, but it seems to me you've let her push the boundaries and she is no longer treating this as 'a job'. Try reining it in, and if that doesn't work, it's bye bye time.

blackcateddie

Had the same problem eight years ago with a girl we hired to introduce my children to the local environment since they had been in a nursery prior. All she did was visit her friends during the day and send my eldest to his room when he complained. I ended up having words with 2 weeks before Xmas and agreeing that she shouldn't come back. I know it's apprehensive for you to tackle her because you worry about her taking it out on your child but there is a point where she should start doing the job she is paid to do.

I work in recruitment and to be honest you really have no comeback against the agency, if one supplied her. There is always some clause to stop any client getting refunds etc, unless she is still in probation and they had a clause re termination and partial refund of your fee.

I would still get back in touch with them and ask for a discount if you can -afterall if you don't ask you don't get. Most agencies try to be accomodating but then if you get too good a deal from them then maybe they don't send you any good either. so catch 22
Hope you sort it out.
I ended up working from home and getting a childminder for a few hours a day. not a perfect solution but I stopped worrying about the childcare.

Penny-Pincher!!

Sounds very simlimar to my situation when DD was younger. She is partially sighted so the Nanny had to be more aware of looking after her, distances and extra safety etc.

I was lucky that I found a great one, but when I interviewed her, I did stipulate what I wanted and that DD would come first regardless. She did not have another child to look after so DD was her only priority.

£7.50 is pretty steep when your child is not the only one. I think if it was me, I would ask her to come round by herself, explain your concerns and see how she replies. Depending on her reply, will depend what your next steps should be.

Really what she is doing is more childminding than being nanny. A really decent childminder you can get for £3-£4ph.

HTH

PP
xx