keep the Nanny I'm not happy with & save money? or not?

cannyscot_2

Basically

Hired a Nanny using Nursery vouchers(martin's idea!) through an agency. She has her own child and brings her with her. I feel she is really not quite as I had thought.

1. wants things round her own child ie taking my child to her child's activities in working time
2. wants to drag mine round the shops to shop for her child's clothes in working time
3. thinks I can come home early anytime she has something on and I mean 4.30pm when i am generally home at 5.15 but pay her till 5.45.
4. seems to just sit about and not actually engage my child in activities or really engage with my child.

basically as I write this ,although i am being quite negative ,I realise it is not how I want it so
options
1. accept she is not good -not doing anything bad really to my child fair enough , but is that good enough. I will lose out moneywise -agency fee £250 if I hire another

2 talk to her and explain I am not happy I want x y and z or will she just be resentful and basically be even less engaging with my child?


Opinions on this? Constructive ie give up work not an option!


To clarify she only works 3 days a week i have a flexible job so see my child lots. My child has a slight handicap and I hire an at home person to accomodate that so one of my big bug bears is that i don't want him dragged to misc shops activities.

Sorry long post!

skylight

Point 4 - outweighs all the others. If she is not doing what you pay her for (and I am in no doubt that its good money!) then exactly what are you paying her for!

You need to find someone who fits in with YOUR family and can do the job that you pay for. This woman obviously cannot or is not doing what you are asking her to do.

Try talking first - its the best course of action. If you have no joy then you willhave to contact the agency again and stress about how unhappy you are and that this woman is performing her own tasks on your time and money. Tell them that you want a replacement but are not happy paying the fee again after they have supplied you with someone who is not up to the job in the first place.

And be firm in your interviewing! Be clear with what you expect! Do you want me to interview the new people????????

cannyscot_2

Charlotte -oh yes please!!-for the interviewing-I'm obviously rubbish!!

I would be willing to talk to her and be firm but i'm just worried she would then be a bit tetchy with my son?

Ps yes by virtue of the fact I save 40% via nursery vouchers -yes it's a great rate as she has no childcare to pay herself and I pay top rate for this neck of the wood.

skylight

If she is tetchy then that answers your question immediately.

As a mother to 3 (and a 4th on the way and a teenage stepdaughter.....) I know that childcare is the bane of our lives, but we have to trust these people with our childrens lives and well being and there is nothing more important than that.

If she wont change her ways, sack her.

Have you spoken to your child (or are they too young???) Although they have a slight handicap, is keeping them indoors essential? Or do they enjoy going out? (Just to put another slant on this!) If he/she likes going out, then perhaps coming to a compromise with the nanny would work???

Edinburghlass_2

Is she an actual qualified Nanny as it doesn't really sound like it?

mummymania

Check the terms and conditions of the nanny agency - they should offer a replacement within x amount of weeks if you are not happy. And maybe discuss these issues with the agency? I've had nanny's and au-pairs and I know its hard to confront the nanny, but your child is the most important thing in the world and it is your right to get what you pay for.

Katyag

Id like to know how she even got onto the agencies books in the first place!

I was a nanny for nearly 3 years, i only gave up working regularly for the family when i had my own DS. I still did the occasional babysitting for them when DS was a little older and was in a routine and able to be left with his dad. I was clear when i met the family, i asked what they wanted me to do with the child (he was 18 months at the time and mum was newly pregnant and house hunting, hence needing a nanny), what he ate, when he ate etc.

If we were out it was usually walking to the park, toddler group, or the mum would drop us off at a park or play centre in town if she was going into town herself. I wouldnt dream of taking someone elses child to do my shopping! Possible for a paper or for lunch but not major things.

Second baby arrived and i was working 12 hour days +, mainly with the eldest to let mum and baby bond, breast feed etc. I also took on a little housework which was agreed with a payrise.

I loved it, would go back to it in a shot if i found the right family. Im not blowing my own trumpet here but im still friends with the family now, nearly 8 years since first meeting them and the eldest child was a paige boy at my wedding, mum and dad were guests too and all 4 of them were at my DS's christening, so i couldnt have been that bad a nanny! lol

You need to remember you are paying this person to care for your child, i get the impression her taking along her own child is getting in the way of her being able to do her job properly. You need to have words with her and let her know exactly what you want from her and what you are not happy with. You are the boss here. If you do have words and she is then tetchy with your son then id say get rid of her. Ok you would lose cash but surely having someone in your house you trust and know will care for your son the best is more important.

Oooo lol just noticed you are in Scotland, will i come and work for you?!?!?! lol

sarahlouise210

I would without question look for a new Nanny. There is nothing worse than going to work and worrying about your child. She is not treating this as a Nanny job ....she is acting like a friend who has agreed to mind your child.
Your child beeds to feel important, needs stimulation and you need piece of mind

Mrs_pbradley936

If your child is around two or older I would look at a nursery. They interact with other toddlers and have regular activities and story time. Also many of them have a web cam so you can see them from wherever you are. Much better than what one person can provide. I know that some nurseries take babies of only a few months but I would not like to put a young baby in a nursery but that may just be me. Lots of people have.

cannyscot_2

Thanks all.

yes she is qualified. She's not a really bad person or nanny just seems to think the job should in some ways suit her and seems to think my needs and my child's are not top priority and i guess she's taking advanage of my trying to be very good to her order that she in turn is good with my child.ie overaccomdating as i did agree the first time she asked that she could take my child to her child's activity -but I kind a thought it was a one off.

I'll have to talk to her.

I will check agency details-but from memory you got only a 25% credit against another nanny in the first 6 weeks and we are out if that now.

She had good refs and I spoke to soemone she'd worked with.

I manage at work to deal with people but with Childcare it throws me into a tizz.

My son loves being outside and that is what i'd prefer.



katy -that would be great but we are couple hundred miles south of aberdeen -bit of a commute.


Oh why is it everyone else I know has some nice Granny looking after their child!

Penny-Pincher!!

I suggest talking with her stating your concerns. It is your child they are being paid to look after, so its your rules/requests (within guidelines of course).

Maybe draft a rota you would be happy with in a day and see how she takes it. When OH & I was working and DD was younger we had a nanny for a while and we stated her do things like:

craft time
baking time
lunch (specify foods you want them to eat)
going to the park/feeding the ducks etc or picnic
reading/looking through books
writing names/words
nap time
bath time/ready for bed
dinner

etc etc

You are the employer at the end of the day and you must state what YOU want, not what she wants.

HTH

PP
xx