Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

murtle1981

My Mum is 55 and is working 2 jobs just to keep a roof over her head. She works at a local shop for LESS than minimum wage (approx 3 pound something) per hour (think she brings home around £65 per week) and then she works as a cleaner for 15 hours a week at minimum wage and gets paid monthly from that. When you add it all up, it isnt a lot at all. Sadly, my Dad is no longer with us. My brother and his girlfriend are living with my Mum (they moved back in with her last year sometime). Before they moved back in, she was coping (just) financially as she got a single person discount on her rent and council tax which helped but now they are living there, shes had to declare it to the local council and her rent etc has gone back up. My brother is working and hes on a cracking wage but refuses to give my Mum any more than 20 pounds a week board . His girlfriend isnt working, shes not looking for a job and she wont get off her backside and go to the job centre or even ring them to sort any benefits out for herself so shes not contributing. My mum is now severely in arrears with her rent/council tax because of them and is scared that she will lose the house. When she gets paid from her cleaning job at the end of each month, all of her wage goes on her rent and council tax plus she gets a pension of some sort (about 130 a month) but that has to go towards paying her rent arrears etc off. So in theory, with her £65 which she gets from her other job plus my brothers board, shes living on £85 a week and thats to buy food for 3 people, put gas and elec on (shes on prepayment meters), pay other bills such as tv licence, water rates and pay off her debts. Shes in a fair old mess to be honest. Shes told my brother she wants £40 a week board from him and the same from his girlfriend (when she eventually gets a job or other form of income) which will cover rent etc and he keeps saying he will but it never happens plus he refuses to pay board for his girlfriend as he says why should he pay for her when she cant be bothered to get off her backside and sort herself out. So its catch 22. My Mum used to get working tax when my Dad was alive but hasnt been able to get it since he died. She was working 1 job back then though, about 40 hours a week and my Dad was on Dla, Incapacity. Is there any extra help out there for my Mum?

Caz3121

I am sorry if this sounds harsh but this situation is obviously unsustainable for your mum and she needs to be hard with your brother. If I were in her boat I would make a list of the increased costs with having them living there - additional rent, additional council tax, additional bills and that should be the minimum they should be contributing. If they don't like it then they need to move out and join the real world...have a look at what the going rate for shared accomodation is in your area and he can do his own sums on whether to live by the rules or not...£80 per week is likely to be a good deal for rent/bills and they would be expected to pay their own food on top of that.

She should be able to apply for working tax credits if she works more than 30 hours and earns less that around £13k (your brothers income will not play a part in this however it does when it comes to housing benefits as the assumption is that he will be contributing)

Oldernotwiser

The first thing that your mother could do would be to stop feeding these parasites.

murtle1981

Thanks for that Caz. You didnt sound harsh so no need to apologise. Weve been telling her for ages to put her foot down with my brother regarding board and she has made a list of the increased costs but it just goes in one ear and out of the other with him im afraid. His silly girlfriend has told my Mum that she knows loads of places where people can live for 20 pounds a week....if thats the case, please tell me where! They had a choice of going to live with either my mum or his girlfriends Mum but they chose the "soft" option im afraid. When i say soft, i mean that my brother knows full well that my Mum will agree to anything for an easy life, especially after what we had to go through with my Dad when he was still alive. If they had gone to his girlfriends Mums, she would have MADE them pay 40 each a week board and they would have had to pay it, no arguements. They are planning on looking for a place of their own soon, I believe thay have money saved for a bond etc and the sooner the better as far as my Mum is concerned. They had a huge bust up the week before Christmas, she was screaming at them to get out as she had had enough of the pair of them and as per usual, it was muggins here who had to sort it out. Shes even been to the council and asked to be moved into a flat or bungalow as she cant afford to run the house but its just a waiting game and when my brother found out, he went barmy saying that she would love nothing better to see him out on the streets but thats so far from the truth. She just wants him to play by the rules. I think my brother and his girlfriend got kicked out of their old house (they were renting it off his girlfriends Uncle for £170 a month, gorgeous house too!) for non payment of rent and i know they were in debt with the council tax and were being threatened by the bailiffs but they deny it. They just said it was her Uncle being a funny so and so. Although he wasnt being funny when he let them rent it for next to nothing was he?

murtle1981

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

The first thing that your mother could do would be to stop feeding these parasites.

She has her boyfriend coming up somedays and he cooks for my Mum and him but not for my brother and his girlfriend which riles my brother something awful! Wish my Mum could be more like him sometimes! You see, i dont want to fall out with any of them as they are my family at the end of the day but i get so angry with my Mum for being too bloody soft and with my brother for being a selfish little sod...dont even get me started on his girlfriend!

juliethemuse

cant your mum just stop buying their food, if she keeps doing the food shop they will just keep eating it wont they, grrr this makes me so mad i can fully sympathise my 2 sons were doing exactly the same thing until i we stopped buying food and doing their washing that soon made them sit up and take notice,

murtle1981

To top it all, ive just found out that my brother and his girlfriend have made the upstiars of my Mums house into a bedsit! They sleep in the small front bedroom now and have made the big back bedroom into their own sitting room with their sofas, tv, computer, hi-fi, they even have their own kettle, mini fridge...even a Christmas tree!!! All those electrical appliances and not a penny from either of them for elec!

paulsad

Its your mum that you will have to convince - as long as she is letting your brother and his gf get away with living off her by the sound of them they will continue to take her for a mug - so badger your mum and get as much help from the rest of your family to work on your brother - in my house my own son was similar - never had any money but we were lucky he met a girl who was used to paying her way and she paid towards her keep and made him divvi up too eventually this lovely girl got them their own house and now they are self sufficient.

cabbage

Suggest she writes to them explaining the increased cost and breaking it down in the letter. Perhaps look at locally rented property and include an advert with it. Then tell them unless they pay either the going rate or £80 per week then they have to leave in two weeks regardless. They have no tenancy rights in fact them staying MIGHT be in breach of her tenancy. She'll end up losing her home if she's not careful and then them two will just swan off to leach off someone else. Help your mum with this otherwise the situation will go on until she is evicted.

murtle1981

juliethemuse wrote: »

cant your mum just stop buying their food, if she keeps doing the food shop they will just keep eating it wont they, grrr this makes me so mad i can fully sympathise my 2 sons were doing exactly the same thing until i we stopped buying food and doing their washing that soon made them sit up and take notice,

My Mum wont do their washing for them but if she doesnt do it, it doesnt get done. While my brother is at work (fair play to him regarding that) and my Mum is at one of her jobs, his girlfriend does nothing, nada. She doesnt get out of bed til 2 in the afternoon. And as for food, they live on takeaways as his girlfriend wont lift a finger plus they dont give my Mum money for their food so she just cooks for herself and maybe her fella if he comes to see her

murtle1981

cabbage wrote: »

Suggest she writes to them explaining the increased cost and breaking it down in the letter. Perhaps look at locally rented property and include an advert with it. Then tell them unless they pay either the going rate or £80 per week then they have to leave in two weeks regardless. They have no tenancy rights in fact them staying MIGHT be in breach of her tenancy. She'll end up losing her home if she's not careful and then them two will just swan off to leach off someone else. Help your mum with this otherwise the situation will go on until she is evicted.

Shes explained the increased cost of them living their but to no avail. Shes told them she wants them out countless times, they are still there. Shes told them she wants more money from them as shes practically living on, well, nothing basically(please see OP). She has told council that they are living there and thats why shes lost her single person reduction but she is now in severe arrears with rent etc as they wont make up the difference as originally asked. My brother says he will pay her 80 a week board but only if she puts him on the tenancy agreement....bribary if you ask me! Even if she does that, she knows she wont get extra money off him, hes just saying that. Im trying so hard to help her but i dont know what else to do.