Real Life MMD: Should I ask the bride for my money back?

JoannaS_3

I think I'm going to have to start making up my own dilemmas if the MSE folk don't step their game up! I look forward to the dilemma every week (sad I know) and find it quite disappointing when the one chosen is like this weeks 'dilemma'.

Anway, I digress, as many many others have said, this is obvious!

Who pays money into someone's account and doesn't tell them? I can't understand why, if the money is obviously important to you, you would't have told her you paid it in? I know people who never check their bank statements from one year to the next and would never have noticed that and just spent it! (not that I advocate laziness around one's personal affairs) Anyway you didn't so now you just need to tell her the mistake and ask for the money back but obviously check with the hotel first to avoid embarrassment if your frind tells you she did pay for the room.

Also; message to all readers......life is about communication....if you don't talk to people and be honest with them (honest doesn't mean rude) then these dilemmas are going to keep happening!

Happy New Year!

seelyb

Without a doubt you should ask for the money back. If you were texting about this you must have let her know at the time that you were transferring the money, so this is her error and she isn't going to be out of pocket as a result in real terms.
Maybe you could couch the request along the lines of 'just need to check that the hotel hasn't charged us twice? (assuming not) So as I've had to pay again are you okay to transfer the money back ?'

spook

Just send her a link to this thread.

retired2

I would approach it by saying you want to check the hotel hasn't made a mistake. They charged you and you thought she was going to pay when she booked which was why you put the money into her bank account. It can be sorted simply; there really isn't a dilemma.

Swirley

How did the OP get the bank details from the bride in the first place? Surely, s/he would have had to ask bride, and told her why, so the bride should have known there was money going into her account and what it was for.
Like others have said, it needs to be broached, but done sensitively.

WhyIsSavingSoHard

Bettie wrote: »

It could be that the hotel asked for her card number and she thought they had stopped the money whereas they only want the number as a security thing.

In my experience, hotels often do that. It secures them against you not turning up for one.

As for the dilemma, I'm sure your friend will feel bad that you were asked to pay. She might have thought the hotel would take it from her account once you were there and notice it once she checks her statement. You are entitled to ask for and get the money back.

Pellyman

I'm puzzled! You say "I know the {that} she is unaware I paid her the £120", which implies that you have already mentioned the matter to her. If she is genuinely not aware you sent her the money then she won't have paid the hotel but, in that case, your accommodation surely wouldn't have been booked and you would have established that fact when you checked in as they, presumably, wouldn't have been expecting you.

However, you apparently think you've now paid twice, so obviously you must discuss the matter with her as soon as she returns from her honeymoon - that could wipe the smile off her face!

If she hasn't actually received your original payment then it could be that one of the banks involved has made yet another typical error - perhaps the most likely explanation. Before you speak to her check that you can prove your transfer to her account and, if you can, surely the matter will be quickly resolved; even if she has emptied her account with wedding costs and you have to wait a while to recover it all.

dandabyron

No question you should ask for it back! There'll be an entry in her bank statement showing the £120 came from you, so there's absolutely no ambiguity!

And if she hasn't noticed her bank balance to be £120 better, then she obviously has too much money for you to worry about reclaiming yours!

RachelS

Absolutely ask for it back...I would phrase it as asking her to contact the hotel as they seem to have made a mistake.

lotte123

bogwart wrote: »

Of course you should take up the matter with her and ask for the return of your money. I really don't see the dilemma here.

What they say!