Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Savvy_sewing

Afternoon already. Struggled once more. Havent a clue what is wrong with me except that i am exhausted all the time.
Luckily Twin2 helped me until this afternoon, then Molly's daughter collected DGD for me, and then I swapped twins over and twin1 is here now. She has helped with putting up the christmas decorations and the tree. So we are a little more festive in the house and its made me start to worry about the jobs I really need to do before the end of the week, and I am worried about managing to do it all, as I am just so exhausted.
I have sat sewing the tinsel round the bottom of most of the snowflakes costumes, and twin2 even sat for hours yesterday sewing one for me. Bless her. She really concentrated quite hard to do it.
My arm is playing up, and all I did was the kitchen this morning, before I had to have a sleep, and then a little bit of sewing and organising on the tree and its shouting at me.! Sometimes I wonder if I could ever stop the pain.
Twin1 is now heating up the dinner from the casserole that I made the other day. Bit early for me, so I will have mine later, or I will be hungry again later.

Savvy_Sue

Mooloo, if a twin has managed to do some sewing on a snowflake, maybe you need to pass some more snowflakes back to nursery as you just cannot manage them. I'm sure you don't want to let anyone down, but maybe that's a job you DON'T have to do yourself ....

Savvy_sewing

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Mooloo, if a twin has managed to do some sewing on a snowflake, maybe you need to pass some more snowflakes back to nursery as you just cannot manage them. I'm sure you don't want to let anyone down, but maybe that's a job you DON'T have to do yourself ....

We managed to finish the snowflakes yesterday. They dont have the same centre snowflakes but they all have one.

I am not well today. Just had to ring up and cancel the councilling that I had booked for today, as I have a sore throat and was up in the night with the shivers and skin on fire etc. So I have succumbed to something.
I shall get DGD to Nursery and come back and rest.
Twin1 has someone picking her up at 9.30 as she has to go to ingus again this morning. I had originally said I wouldnt take her as I was not going to drive to Northampton twice, it was just too much. But I will not be going anywhere now.(Except the school run).

I have also decided that keeping intouch with EXBF is not a good idea. He is obviously not going to change his mind about moving on and I really cannot keep intouch and having small hopes when he says he loves me, but then he says that he couldnt take on DGD 24/7 and that if my kids fell on hard times he didnt think he would be able to take them in etc.
(I said that that was a pity, as I would have his kids as after 7 years I may not be thier mother, but I have been part of the family, and they have been part of mine. If they have a problem they can come to me anytime.!). But I said that mine are already on the hard times, so whats the difference.

anyway I have decided thats thats enough now. He is back at his home, he has his friends, workers and family to keep him going and its time for me to back off. Get on with my own world.
The two worlds have always been too different.
I am incredibly sad, but not surprised that things had not changed in the last month.

Time to get DGD dressed.

icefairy

a big hug from me please know you are not alone in how you feel over him im like you would do anything for my children, i to have days where im so sad and emotional but then tell yourself its not your fault its them that have the problem. i hope you feel much better soon and get some rest you can always talk to me anytime take carexx:)

geminilady

Never posted on hear before but i read daily it helps me get my own problems into perspective.Glad you have decided to stop contact with BF it is no good hoping for something which will never happen,you cannot change people and to be honest he sounds as if he has very little backbone you deserve much much better.Hope you are feeling better soon.

Savvy_sewing

Thankyou for those posts.
I am feeling sad, but actually I am not surprised.
I added to the decoration on the snowflakes, cut out another Mary as I didnt like the first, and then went to bed at 12. I got up around 2.15 so I feel somewhat better.
I shall be off to collect DGD in a few minutes.
I shall have a snack when I get back as I missed out on dinner.
At least the decorations cheer the place up, even though they are minimul compared to some years. Twin1 has taken the baubles that I didnt use. There were a lot of Purple/silver ones that were left over from a box BF had given me a couple of years ago.
And of course I have all the lovely decorations on the tree that I made when Molly and I went to the WI.
We had a card each from two of the ladies who we met there. Which was lovely. My first Christmas card this year.
I doubt there will be very many, but I really dont mind.
Things will come together. I will just have to concentrate, and think out side of the box.
I shall be back on track not long after the new year if I stay strong and do not let the kids fleece me of any more funds.!
Fingers crossed.!

Hardup_Hester

Yay Mooloo, well done, horrible as it is to say goodbye to a relationship, at least you won't be constantly torn between family & BF, onwards & upwards!
Hester

Savvy_sewing

Morning,
I am still feeling out of sorts, and I even went to bed with DGD at 7pm. I took my tablets, and went for a lie down, meaning to get up in a while, but couldnt be bothered, so stayed cuddled up under the duvet for 12 hours.!
My skin is crawling a bit this morning, but thats probably more to do with the lack of tablets for 12 hours. Least I hope thats it.
I have taken my meds. Had a cup of tea. And made DGD's breakfast. Answered a few messages and will be off to get dressed in a few minutes. Not fancy moving from room to room. Even though the central heating is on, it seems warmer down stairs then it does anywhere else in the house.
Lights cheery though. That helps.
Want to do some sewing this morning, Mary costume and then I can relax more. Only a few days left to do it in. I wish the nursery had sorted out what to make earlier this year!
Next year we will be moving up to the next school, so I will not be volunteering my services. (at least thats my intention!).

Savvy_sewing

Evening, well I am not well. I have struggled today. But after dropping DGD at nursery I picked up a few basics in the local shop and came home. Cannot be without bread and teabags!. I perciviered and sewed the Mary Costume. It took me the rest of the morning.
The post brought news from the council that my benefits had changed due to my working tax credits changing.
I rang WTC to find that they had been reviewing my claim and for some reason they have paid a sum of £98 to me today, which as my claim is the same as it always was, they have then reduced my payments for the rest of the financial year!. So my benefit goes down from £103 to £98 a week!
This makes no change over all, but this has made a change in my Housing benefit. of about 50p a week. (more). so I dont really know how they work that one out, if my overall payments are the same?
Anyway it was just as well that I had that extra payment as I had to pay £80+ on my Greenflag. They had tried to take it out of the previous card I had paid, which was my prepay CCard. Which doesnt have much on, actually if any. Must check that one.! Think I would probably be able to cancel it, as I have only used it rarely. Topping it up when going on holiday so that I have a back up. But then they just take out the monthly charges all the time so it goes down all the time.
I went to bed at lunchtime when DGD was being looked after, and rested, for just over an hour. Then I have been over 2 hours trying to sort out some online shopping!. Takes me ages, My laptop keeps freezing on me.
So that will need sorting out next.
At least the costumes are all done, and I can deliver the last one tomorrow, before I go to the dentist.
I cannot believe how fast this week has gone by.
The weekend we have the school santa claus grotto, and tombola etc, so I must remember to get a little cash out of the bank, (santa has been paid for), and then on Monday after Nursery Biggest of Mooloo's and I are taking the two granddaughters to MK to see Santa there. Booked a slot apparantly.
My organiser diary for next year has arrived. Bought what I thought was the same as the one I had last year, but they have modified it, so its not the same, I hope I will get on with it as well as this years, (although having said that I prefered last years) if its not as good, then I will not buy it next year, and will shop around for a different one.
I cannot believe that I am yawning! THats so rediculous. Must try and stay awake longer or I will never get decent sleep at night!

Savvy_sewing

Tried to stay awake. Managed to wait until just after 10pm to go to bed.But alas got up again at 1.30 as I was fed up of tossing and turning, and my mind being in a whirl. I watched some prerecorded tv and went back to bed at about 3.30 thinking i would sleep then. But alas I had a terrible time and didnt sleep much, and when I did I had awful dreams, waking as I was "stabbed" in the neck, and felt the blood and breath leaving me!! It was a really awful night. (Just when I thought I could get into a better sleeping cycle).
Lets hope that I get through today a bit better. but alas its not one of the days when DGD goes to Nursery, or when I get help with her in the afternoon allowing me to rest. I have the dentist at 1.30 slap bang in the middle of my resting time aswell. DGD will be able to stop with her mum while I do that. But that will be about all the help today. Which is better then a slap with a wet kipper, but not giving me time to rest. Only to drive both ways, and have the dentist inbetween. yuk.