Baby Christmas Money - what is it for?

MartynThompson

On a not completely unrelated subject, did anyone watch The Royle Family Christmas Special this year?

Denise Royle comes to mind...

If I couldn't think of a suitable gift I would say... "Here is xxx amount of money - buy little Jimmy/Suzy something they would like".

If I wanted to invest in their future I would offer the money to put into their own (not their parents) savings account so that they would have a chance to make a big purchase when they are older and hopefully mature enough to make that decision.

I would not expect the parent to rifle the account when it suited them.

Having said all this, I sympathise that essentials such as car seats, food, cigarettes and the full Sky package are equally important.

(That last sentence should be read slightly tongue in cheek).

shellsuit

MartynThompson wrote: »

On a not completely unrelated subject, did anyone watch The Royle Family Christmas Special this year?

Denise Royle comes to mind...

If I couldn't think of a suitable gift I would say... "Here is xxx amount of money - buy little Jimmy/Suzy something they would like".

If I wanted to invest in their future I would offer the money to put into their own (not their parents) savings account so that they would have a chance to make a big purchase when they are older and hopefully mature enough to make that decision.

I would not expect the parent to rifle the account when it suited them.

Having said all this, I sympathise that essentials such as car seats, food, cigarettes and the full Sky package are equally important.

(That last sentence should be read slightly tongue in cheek).

How can you compare a car seat to food, cigs and Sky??

Turtle

Perhaps naively, it would never enter my head that if I give money for a child when very small then it wouldn't just go into the bank for them.

Turtle

shellsuit wrote: »

How can you compare a car seat to food, cigs and Sky??

I think you missed the bit that said the sentence was tongue in cheek:cool:

milliebear00001

There are clearly many people posting on this thread who have never found themselves 'on their uppers'. I would suggest that for many people, the fact that you haven't HAD TO consider using money given to a child, for essentials, is more down to your good fortune than your good planning - long may that last.

Many, many events befall people with children that they could not possibly be expected to have foreseen. The fact that some of us appear to believe it is always more important to keep a child's money separate from the households', is testament to those individuals' lack of insight into the difficult situations many parents find themselves in everyday. For some, it is a necessity to use a child's money to meet the basic costs of living. I don't know many adults who would resent their parent for making this choice when they were young. I certainly know what I'd prefer my parents' choice to have been in this situation (the 'adult' choice in dire straits).

SarahNeedle1872

I LOVE threads like this because they really do show how people's opinions vary so much

My 10p worth.....

DS is 4 in Feb and has a bank account (savings that I cannot withdraw - mainly because I've lost the pass book!! But wouldn't anyway unless in a dire emergency). If he is given money as a gift, it goes into his account. A cheque is paid directly in, cash would be used by me for whatever, but I would transfer that amount from my curr acc to his acc. Unless someone specifies 'buy him something nice' in which case DS gets to shop, but only up to the value of the cash he has (meany me!)
We are lucky that, although we have a very tight budget, we do not need to use gift money for 'essentials' and he gets so many toys as birthday/Christmas prezzies that we don't need to spend cash on them. I will point out that CB and TC's (all £40pm!) goes into the household budget, and is used to buy DS such luxuries as food!

As an aside.... As kids, my sis and I both had savings accounts where cash gifts were paid into. When they were handed over to us at whatever age (16 maybe) there was only £100 in each. Clearly my Mum had used all the money that had been given to us for the household spends... BUT I know that she only did it because she needed to, as we did not have an extravagant upbringing (although we did not go without what we needed)... and realistically, what bearing has it had on my life.....?? None

Sx

pebbles88

milliebear00001 wrote: »

There are clearly many people posting on this thread who have never found themselves 'on their uppers'. I would suggest that for many people, the fact that you haven't HAD TO consider using money given to a child, for essentials, is more down to your good fortune than your good planning - long may that last.

Many, many events befall people with children that they could not possibly be expected to have foreseen. The fact that some of us appear to believe it is always more important to keep a child's money separate from the households', is testament to those individuals' lack of insight into the difficult situations many parents find themselves in everyday. For some, it is a necessity to use a child's money to meet the basic costs of living. I don't know many adults who would resent their parent for making this choice when they were young. I certainly know what I'd prefer my parents' choice to have been in this situation (the 'adult' choice in dire straits).

Really good post Milliebear :T:T:T couldn't agree with you more.

RosaBernicia

I don't think I'd mind whether money given for a child went in their account or on something else to help them - I just expect that it's used to benefit the child.

I'm only surprised that so many people don't seem to bother asking what might be appreciated! I always ask people if there is anything they particularly want or need, just in case somebody names something they need or says 'vouchers or cash would be easier things are a bit tight at the minute' (and in that case, I'd probably add a bit extra where I could).

Rosa xx

pebbles88

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

I LOVE threads like this because they really do show how people's opinions vary so much

I will point out that CB and TC's (all £40pm!) goes into the household budget, and is used to buy DS such luxuries as food!

Honestly - you know that food is an 'essential' don't you!!
yes i am joking!!

As an aside.... As kids, my sis and I both had savings accounts where cash gifts were paid into. When they were handed over to us at whatever age (16 maybe) there was only £100 in each. Clearly my Mum had used all the money that had been given to us for the household spends... BUT I know that she only did it because she needed to, as we did not have an extravagant upbringing (although we did not go without what we needed)... and realistically, what bearing has it had on my life.....?? None

Sx

i really like how you have put this across here.

my Dad died when I was 11. My mum hadn't worked since having me, well full time anyway, she did do the odd bit here and there.

But after Dad died, all the income we had was Widows Pension (not much at all, but thankfully (if thats the right term, would much rather have my Dad back) we did not have to pay mortgage as this was paid off following his death. We also got the odd top up every few months from the company he worked for in way of a payment scheme to help look after me as his child.

I truly don't think I went without anything following on from this. OK granted I couldn't go on big school trips, i received free school dinners & uniform etc. Money was tight, we ate very basically, but good nourishing food. But my happiest memories of this time, was 'Sunday Lunch Picnics!' which consisted of roast chicken sandwiches & cold roast potatoes at the beach, rather than salting our food, it got sanded, but it was brilliant. it was a very cheap day out, but i wouldnt change it for the world. my mum worked hard to bring me up, not work wise, but always did her best to make sure we had what we needed.

If i ever got any money for birthdays or christmas, what made me happiest was being able to treat my mum to something, it was never extravagant, (to me to get £5 in a card was like being rich!!) and we are talking about 15/20 years ago here, but just being able to treat her to say fish & chips was great! If we didn't do this, i just used to put the money in our pot so to speak.

To me - even though the money may have been a gift for me, I knew we needed it more for daily things than for anything for me. I know mum went without a lot for me, I am so grateful for this I can't really describe it. She means the world to me. So as SarahNeedle puts it -what bearing has it had on my life that perhaps all my gift/present money might not have gone on me... nothing bad whatsoever.

However, it made me very happy to feel that I was at least helping out my mum, even at a young age. because to me thats what a family does. no matter how you dress it up, or what you call it - there will be times when parents will need a bit of help, and after all my Mum has done for me, the least I can do is treat us when I can. Even as I have grown up, started work, there has been times when we have both borrowed money from the other if it's been a long week/month/unexpected bills etc. ok sometimes we pay the money back asap - but normally it balances out anyway.


and i must admit, even now, if i get money as a gift - unless there is something specific that i really want (not need) then i tend to put it to one side or do something for the family. It's just how i'm wired.

Perhaps we are more relaxed (strange ) than others? I dont know, but it works for us, the same happens with my inlaws (well some of them anyway! ) we don't stress about it. because really at the end of the day, whether a parent 'borrows' £20 from the child's gift money, pays it back, borrows it again the next month, perhaps forgets/cant afford to pay it back right now, eventually it will all even out.

Whether that be through parents buying the kids a present - putting the money back into their savings, buying them something that they have wanted for ages but they didnt want to spend all their savings on it / did not have enough etc. It all balances out in the end! or well thats just how i see it. Family is much more important than money.

balletshoes

penelopedee wrote: »

Its difficult when siblings have children. Sometimes the easiest way not to upset anyone is to give money for the children. Plenty of times I have been asked to give presents that we just can't find or afford. So it is awkward from both sides of it.

Sorry I should also of added, I have found in my particular circumstances if we buy a present that wasn't on the list then it either goes back to the shop or we get grief for months. It's difficult.

thats awful :eek: - we were all brought up to be grateful for whatever present was bought us, and my parents would certainly never demand that any present bought for us was from a list of their choosing! Its different if you ask what your nieces/nephews would like, we have that with my sisters and I, so we have a little list with ideas that our kids have given us or things we know as a parent they'd like. But not everyone asks, my mum and one sister usually choose gifts for my daughter without asking me what she wants, and its always appreciated. I'd never dream of taking something back to the shop just because it wasn't on a "list".