Baby Christmas Money - what is it for?

sarah182xxx

i have been reading this thread with interest (i blame being off sick lol) but iam shocked that anyone would see money given to a child as money for the household ! if i give money to my nephew i assume my brother spends it on my nephew how he sees fit but ONLY on my nephew. I would be sad if he used it to repair his car or pay a bill to to reimburse himself for buying my nehew a gift ! ! I wouldnt mind what he spent it on or put in my nehew's account so long so as its for my nephew xxx

puddles

sarah182xxx wrote: »

i have been reading this thread with interest (i blame being off sick lol) but iam shocked that anyone would see money given to a child as money for the household ! if i give money to my nephew i assume my brother spends it on my nephew how he sees fit but ONLY on my nephew. I would be sad if he used it to repair his car or pay a bill to to reimburse himself for buying my nehew a gift ! ! I wouldnt mind what he spent it on or put in my nehew's account so long so as its for my nephew xxx

How would you feel if your brother lost his job due to not having transport?

In an ideal world it would be great to put every penny away for a child but life happens and it isn't always perfect. People fall on hard times and no real friend or relative is going to mind a family surviving for that period of time on the money given, more they'll be glad to be able to help the family in a time of hardship.

*Louise*

If I give money then I wouldn't mind if the parents used it towards a high chair/car seat. At the end of the day it is an item which is still beneficial to the child.

I usually send neices/nephew a cheque for their birthday - I know it gets cashed but have no idea what the money goes on after that, and I'm not really all that bothered tbh, it's their money.

I would be annoyed if I sent a cash gift and the parents just used it for household bills though. What's the point? Might as well just send it to the parents in the first place with a note saying 'here - pay your phone bill, I won't bother with a baby gift':p

It is a little bit differnet though if circumstances are dire and money has to be borrowed from a childs account...but it should be with the intention of paying back every penny.

My kids all have savings accounts and the youngest two have the trust funds - any money given to them goes in the savings. It can be kept for when they are older or to buy big items they would like just now. ie.DS2 wanted a bike for his birthday - we gave him the usual £50 for his birthday and money from his savings topped up to the cost of buying the bike he wanted.

menollyke

I think the money should be used within a certain time of getting the money. a toy, a trip to the zoo, museum, clothing, but also highchair, car seat, all acceptable to me.

My son has a savings account, but I am not putting extra money into it. My parents opened a savings account for both my brother and me. (my brother being 1 year older) we used to get birthday money and such and put it into the savings account. It wasn't much. I started working when I was 16 and put some of my earnings into the savings account as well, in the end I used to money to buy furniture for the rented place when I moved in with my boyfriend. The rest of the money has been used to pay solicitor bill when we bought a house, some furniture and some normal expenses. All other things went from my salary as my first car, insurance on the car, uni etc.

However, my brother who had the same amount of money, didn't put any extra in when he started working. Instead all the saved up money from the 18 years before went up on alcohol and drugs, against my parents wishes. But when he turned 18, his savings account was his to use.

Knowing that two people who were raised the same could spend the money so differently, it is hard to understand. I now decided not to give my children anything extra than what they save up themselves. (when they are ready to save) We as parents will save money in our name which will be used to help them with some big expenses like a first car, uni, maybe even a house deposit. The money however stays ours till we give it away, that way if we really need it, we can use it, but in the end we can decide when they are ready to use the money for something good.

Till the time they start to save for themselves and want to save, the money given to us will be used to buy whatever is needed for the children. Most likely a more expensive toy, some more expensive nice clothing or something we would normally not buy. However nappies and wipes, formula or other baby food, I would not consider buying with gift money.

I must say we haven't received any money for our son. (he is now 20 months) and we probably won't. I know MIL is putting money aside for her grandchildren for when they are grown up, but she is under strict instructions not to hand over the account till the children are ready and want to use it for something good.

BitterAndTwisted

Oh my goodness, there have been some very, very judgmental posts on this thread! Which is what I expected, really.

In my honest opinion I think if money has been given to a baby for Christmas then it is totally up to the parents to decide how it is spent. Once a giver has given they have no say in the matter: if they wanted a say they could have bought Premium Bonds or opened a savings account in the child's name.

I'm not a parent myself but I have been a giver of cash to a baby or a small child many, many times in the past and the money has nearly always really been intended to ease the burden on the parent/s. Babies need little but a household may need things other than a stroller or even more cute clothing to add to the pile. I'd have been happy to know that the parent/s might have used to cash to repair a much-needed car or added the funds towards the gas-bill if it they thought it was necessary.

VK-2008

when i give money it can be spent on anything to do with the child
if i want the money to be spent on a specific item then i would buy that item

i have a sil who is not very well off and when her children were younger would rather spend the money on junk, so i decided when i give gifts i pick what i want them to have and they get the gifts.

i agree if a parent can only afford 30 quid on something and if a gift of 30 quid came along and the parent could not get a better thing so they have 60 quid to spend then whats the problem?

sarah182xxx

puddles wrote: »

How would you feel if your brother lost his job due to not having transport?

In an ideal world it would be great to put every penny away for a child but life happens and it isn't always perfect. People fall on hard times and no real friend or relative is going to mind a family surviving for that period of time on the money given, more they'll be glad to be able to help the family in a time of hardship.

i do see both sides tbh. i think in such a situation i wouldn't mind him using it as he sees fit so long as it was paid back/ id hope that he would ask to borrow money from me or our parents in such a situation though and not have to wait for money given as a gift for my nephew. its a hard situation as i understand different families have different circumstances. if all cicumstances were normal and no bils had to be paid or no broken cars I would feel the money should be spent n my nephew not put into the household fund. of course unforseen cicumstances change this and i wouldnt want any of my family to be struggling. i think its an interesting question xxx

onlyroz

I would be annoyed if I gave a child money and then found out that their mum had used it to pay household bills. I wouldn't really care if it was otherwise spent on toys, high-chairs, clothes, buggies, day-trips, or put into a savings account - but I don't think that mum and dad should spend it in themselves. Like another poster said, if you were short of cash would you sell the kids' toys?

With us, gifted money goes into a money box and then once a year we go into London to have a splurge at Hamleys. At the moment they've probably got a few hundred between them. If the amount goes up much more I'll probably open some sort of account for them.

puddles

Everyone has different outlooks on such things, it's what makes life interesting!

The same parent that uses some Christmas money to pay for a necessary car repair is probably the same parent who pays £50 for the family to visit the zoo, or £20 for a treat in Toys R Us later in the year, or a DVD to watch on a rainy day, or helps pay rent on that child's first flat or fees for university.

I think in most cases, not all of course, parents generally do pretty well for their children, or at least as much as they can. It's not as black and white as some people seem to think, or maybe they are just lucky enough never to have been in such a needy situation. I never have been, and for that I am thankful, but I'll never moralise to anyone who is in that situation and does what they think is the best for their family at that moment in time.

FatVonD

I don't suppose anybody actually *plans* to spend their children's cash on anything other than their child (at least I hope they don't) but in an emergency I think it's perfectly acceptable to borrow the cash to fix the car/pay a heating bill/put food on the table.

Everyone gets so hung up on material possessions, would a hungry child rather have a bit of brightly coloured plastic or food in its tummy (or indeed their mother at home because she hasn't had to go out to work to pay to fix the car)?

PS Grey_lady, that wasn't directed at you, we were posting at the same time