Baby Christmas Money - what is it for?

kegg_2

bestpud wrote: »

I haven't said anything about it being ok for the parent to spend the money on themselves. If you read my posts, you will see how I feel about it.

What I am saying is the parents have the ultimate say in what they do with things given to their child. That's just how it is, I'm afraid.

Therefore, the giver has no say once the money is handed over.

This thread is about parents choosing to spend the money on 'essential' baby items rather than save it for the child.

Are you saying the giver can demand the parent repay the child?

And if they refused...?

Could the parent be sued in the small claims court for buying a high chair instead of putting the money into a savings account?

No I thought not!

If a parent can not afford essentials for their child i question whether they should have a child in the first place. The government supplies child benefit and tax credits and in some cases sure start grants to help with the costs of having a child.
You can buy a highchair for £25 in tesco. You dont need to buy a top of the range one costing £100.

kegg_2

mumslave wrote: »

Its

I would personally be quite happy to see money go on a high chair or car seat, better than booze and fags.

by a parent spending money given to the child then they are freeing up their own money whether it be their salary or benefits for them to buy booze and fags

bestpud

kegg wrote: »

If a parent can not afford essentials for their child i question whether they should have a child in the first place. The government supplies child benefit and tax credits and in some cases sure start grants to help with the costs of having a child.
You can buy a highchair for £25 in tesco. You dont need to buy a top of the range one costing £100.

That's just about personal preference more than anything and anyone who wants to dictate how money is spent needs to either buy a gift or open an account for the child themself.

You are moving into a different debate now, but there is a thread about practical gifts this lower down the board.

When someone gives money to a child, they are allowing the parent to decide how they spend it. They have no right to that money any more.

No harm is coming to the child; it's just personal preference.

sharnad

I would think it would go in a bank account but couldnt care less if the parents felt they needed it for something for the baby

Agutka

I grew up in Poland and my parents and grandparents saved for us kids religiously. I've done a bit of maths and every month they put away the equivalent of £60 for each of us. Then came inflation and devaluation and I still have the account card, untouched. It is currently worth £12.30.
My husband ended up with two or three grand and has no idea where it went, in a haze of booze and fags when he was 18 plus.

I have no qualms about spending the kids money on them now.

JodyBPM

bestpud wrote: »

When someone gives money to a child, they are allowing the parent to decide how they spend it. They have no right to that money any more.

QUOTE]

Surely when someone gives money TO A CHILD, they are giving money TO THE CHILD.

If they give money to THE PARENT and say "buy whatever you see fit for the child" then I agree with you, they don't have the right to then complain that they don't agree with what you have spent it on.

But when money is given TO THE CHILD (eg a cheque in child's name, or cash inside a card addressed to the child), why would the parent think it is theirs to spend? It was given TO THE CHILD, and should remain the child's, surely? It is not up to the parent to spend it. IMO, in those circumstances, it should be spent ONLY on what a child asks for, or if the child is too young to make that decision, it should be put away in savings until the child is old enough to decide for themselves.

bestpud

JodyBPM wrote: »

bestpud wrote: »

When someone gives money to a child, they are allowing the parent to decide how they spend it. They have no right to that money any more.

QUOTE]

Surely when someone gives money TO A CHILD, they are giving money TO THE CHILD.

If they give money to THE PARENT and say "buy whatever you see fit for the child" then I agree with you, they don't have the right to then complain that they don't agree with what you have spent it on.

But when money is given TO THE CHILD (eg a cheque in child's name, or cash inside a card addressed to the child), why would the parent think it is theirs to spend? It was given TO THE CHILD, and should remain the child's, surely? It is not up to the parent to spend it. IMO, in those circumstances, it should be spent ONLY on what a child asks for, or if the child is too young to make that decision, it should be put away in savings until the child is old enough to decide for themselves.

It's just opinion though, isn't it?

This is a moral argument, I guess, as I don't think the giver has any legal right to insist the money is spent on certain items, or put into a savings account iyswim?

We aren't talking about parents using the money to go out clubbing or totally on themselves (are we?) as that would be wrong in the eyes of most people.

I think we are deciding whether the money should be put away until the child is older, spent on a toy, or spent on something practical such as clothes or a high chair...?

That comes down to preference and the giver has no right to tell a parent they are wrong for spending the money on the child in some way.

Really, the only option open to the giver is to not give money again or give it in a way that it has to be saved, as I see it. I don't think most people would get in a tizz about the money being spent on a high chair though, to be fair - I don't know anyone who would have a problem with that anyway.

Sweet_Pea_2

Any money that was given to my daughters for Xmas and Birthdays went straight into their bank accounts. I think (as a previous poster said) if a parent cant afford to buy ESSENTIALS such as car seats/highchairs or nappies they should not have had child in the first place. It is the parents responsibility to provide ESSENTIALS for their child. Same goes for clothes/shoes and food.

I assumed if someone gave a small child money then they meant for it to be saved for them for when they are older. If they meant it to be used to buy the child a toy then they should have asked me for suggestions if they needed to and bought a toy, or a voucher, or an outfit if thats what the gift giver intended. If someone gave my five year old a fiver it went into her account.

I also took the view that I needed to save it when they were young because when they hit teenage its another story altogether - I find it much harder to save now as they know exactly how much they have received and what they want to spend it on, and as long as they are not wasting it then thats fine. Because I salted it away when they were young they both have nice healthy bank accounts for when they want driving lessons etc in a few years time.

pebbles88

delerium wrote: »

As an aside my parents put money away in a savings account for me, but when they redecorated my bedroom they used my savings to buy the bedroom furniture. Sounds awful (according to some folk on this thread) but I can now get my old bunk beds for my lo's bedroom and not have to spend over £300 on new beds....

I actually think that's quite sweet, being able to say to your lo that hey, when i was little, these were my beds, now they're yours, so look after them ok. all your memories of growing up, and now you'll be able to watch them doing the same. Some people prob won't agree with me, but i'm very sentimental!

nottslass_2

If someone gave my Baby an item of clothing it would be up to me as a parent to decide when or if he wore it,likewise if he received a toy its up to me to decide if its suitable for him to play with.


If someone gives a gift surely its up to the recipient to to what he or she likes with it ?
In the case of money why doe it necessarily have to go straight in the bank as savings ?



My Children don't have bank accounts so any cash given to the 8 year old is his to spend on what he likes - usually a new X box game etc

This Christmas knowing that my 11 month old would receive more toys than he could possibly ever play with we asked the Grandparents is they wanted to contribute to a new car seat - which IMO is a much better present than lots more plastic tat that will never get played with.