Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

Mama_G_3

Oh My! This has had me in histerics!!

I really hope this doesn't end bad and they back out!! I'd try to get hold of your solicitor ASAP and get their advise! Surely he can't continue to lodge in your home? What happens if they do back out and Mrs C won't let him back in the camper?? You inherit Mr C?

Can't wait for the next post

pineapple

Well my story is almost as strange and very true!
Back when I was young and naive, we had an agreed sale on our house and an agreed purchase of another.
Our buyers wanted us out asap, the people we were buying from faced the opposite problem and wanted to delay moving out.
We agreed a compromise. We would move in 2 weeks before completion and they could stay on for 2 weeks after.
Can you say POTENTIAL DISASTER?
The husband was away during the week and the wife would have a bath every Friday, leaving the cold grey water in the bath for his return. She spent every afternoon in a dressing gown on the sofa with £s worth of beauty treatments spread out over the rest of the sofa. She turned out to be as mad as a hatter but after all, it wasn't yet our house...
In the kitchen we had two of everything.
3 weeks after completion there was no sign of them going and tempers were getting frayed. She declared 'I cut off ze phone and take it with me when I leave!'. One day I overheard a telephone conversation, it was the husband telling someone he was going to string it out as long as possible.
We got heavy, we stomped our feet and a week later we watched from behind the curtains as their removal van disappeared into the fog.
We danced a jig.
True story!

chrissiesurfergirl123

Me too. True or not it is exceptionally entertaining!

spinningsheep

This SERIOUSLY would make a brilliant xmas special. A bit like that thing that had Robson Green and bloke from the Nationwide ads "brand new customers only". Classic. I ahve seriously laughed more at this thread and the one with the dead dog & the peg bag" than I have at any xmas TV.

wearside_2

mackemdave wrote: »

im with you there...we mackems arnt daft....its the geordies up the road who fall into that category :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry to disappoint you! I am in no way a Geordie:mad: its just a name that I have always used in connection with an alias in my job before I retired:eek:

louise3965

I think that him and her from Our Family should play the Jones and Mr and Mrs C sound like Kev and Veronica from Shameless.

sheslookinhot

I can see this one running to February at least.

Brb

Well someone has missed their vocation in life. Unless after the festivities you're returning to fiction department of BBC

Totally agree with some posters. I think it would make a great chrimble film.

Family option: After much happenings (think national lampoons) everything comes together in the end and sale goes through with much cuddling/tears and everyone is left with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Thriller/horror option: Mr and Mrs C have been watching you whilst you sleep and injecting you with all number of things. Eventually they take over your lives.

Drama option: Mr C and Mrs J find out that Mr C is in fact Mrs J's long lost father.

Porno option: You throw on some cheesy 70's music and get it on LOL

thejonesfamily

Good news - the caravan is a rocking!

Phew, a bit of an ardious afternoon. Mrs J has been brilliant and we were just saying that we are glad our marriage isnt like theirs.

Where to start.

I left you with Mrs J on the floor wiping up spilt milk. Mr C was trying to get into the Camper Van but Mrs C wasnt letting him.

Mrs J decided to pop over to the Caravan whilst Mr C and I decided to go and walk the dog. The walk was rather uneventful. The dog pooped twice and as a gesture of goodwill Mr C picked it up. Well, he picked up one and walked in the other.

After 2 hours in the camper, Mrs J came out victorious. But the issue is now that Mrs C refuses to sleep in the camper as it reminds her of that "hussy from the surgery". Mrs C had a bit of a heart to heart and amazingly she was less bothered about him having sexual relations with the Doctors wife (oh yes - her marriage is over thanks to Mrs C and her pen *s comment in the waiting room). What the issue was is that Mrs C had gently mentioned to Mr C about "spicing things up" and his reposnse was to take her for a Curry on Valentines.

On the way back, Mrs C was getting a bit amarous and suggested that they pull over in the camper and play his with Bhajis However, Mr C refused to get the newly upholstered seat dirty and drove them home. They went home and slept in separate rooms. Also, Mr C is a bit of a Missionary Man (not in the religious sense) and despite buying herself a few gadgets from the Ann Summers she hosted, his only comment was that £25 could have been spent on something that would drill a hole in the wall.

I dont actually think this couple communicate in the bedroom as Mrs C said she was upset to see her "boring" husband "giving the doctors wife one in the kitchenette".

Mrs C started quizzing my wife on what we do to spice up our sx lives which Mrs J wonderfully diverted by offering a copy of our 1980s "The Joy of Sex" book. So this afternoon, I had to go up in the loft and retrieve it from the box which contained the Hot Chocolate and Bros LPs which I forgot we had. Mrs J conveniently had to pop to the shop, so I had to walk across the driveway and hand over the book. She was embarrased to receive it and I dont think my apologising for the 1980s beards and bouffants really helped. It was when walking back to the house I realised the post it notes were still in the book. I am not sure they will appreciate my handwritten comments on page 38 written 10 years previous.

So I came back in the house and Mr C was in the lounge watching "Lemony Snicketts - A series of unfortunate events" on BBC1 which I define as ironic. I suggested to Mr C that his wife may open up to him so off he trotted. I presume given the time that has elapsed that they have got to page 38 of the book and are reviewing my notes.

Heh ho. Anyway Mrs J told Mrs C that this new house is going to change their lives and give them a fresh start and maybe it was time to let go of the camper, especially as it is a bugg er to park at the local surgey.

sad_dog_lady

this thread has been a real help to me, i have bi polar and have been a bit low, thanks jones family, ive laughed so much.
please please keep it going till the 4th please, you are medicinal.