Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

busiscoming2

Please don't ever, ever stop Mr Jones :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

thejonesfamily

she has kicked him out!

he came and knocked our door at 3pm just as I was erecting the chicken coop. Mrs J was out shopping with her sister in Cardiff and I was trying in vain to put this ebay monstrosity together.

We spent the afternoon together trying to put it together, well he was holding the bits whilst I screwed them together in a haze of his "tobacco". In all the years of living in DP, i havent spotted the local dealer, but I wonder perhaps if the camper in the drive was the original invite? Having said that it is still waiting to be assessed in Devon as to whether it is commercially viable to repair.

He came prepared with his overnight bag and a few beers and we sat there afterwards admiring the orange coop talking about life. I am actually quite fond of Mr C. Yes he smells a bit like wee and wears a god awful trenchcoat/flashers mack full of fag burns and stains, but he has always seemed grateful for our help. I just wish he wouldnt smoke in my garden as our new neighbours were whispering in the garden and I bet they were commenting on the smell.

What he said next shocked me, he tried to take his own life in the camper van and aimed for the trees. He then rounded off that titbit with a request whether he could stay until tomorrow where he hopes to return to Devon. So we have said yes. Well, I said yes and Mrs J had to agree when she came back with her sister, Now her sister is a bit of a fox and having seen that look in Mr C's eye, I just hope he doesnt try the wrong bedroom door tonight.

Anyway, I am just about to nip out or an Indian, so I wish you all a lovely weekend.

clutton_2

"" I never knew they made G Strings in Evans "" - OMG - there surely is hope for obese ladies after all........


"" Mr C. Yes he smells a bit like wee and wears a god awful trenchcoat/flashers mack full of fag burns and stains,"


LOL - you make him sound a bit like Rab C Nesbitt's brother in law..... in winter of course.. its not quite the weather yet for string vests.... !!

Mupette

clutton wrote: »

"" I never knew they made G Strings in Evans "" - OMG - there surely is hope for obese ladies after all........


"" Mr C. Yes he smells a bit like wee and wears a god awful trenchcoat/flashers mack full of fag burns and stains,"


LOL - you make him sound a bit like Rab C Nesbitt's brother in law..... in winter of course.. its not quite the weather yet for string vests.... !!

only G strings by the sound of it

originalbob

Its been very quiet recently, Mr J.Any more revelations? please?

gorgeousgeorge

Lol, I am loving this, and have only made it to page 5 so far, am going to subscribe to this, and find a few hours to go through it all........ :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

LudaMusser

Unfortunately I don`t have se7en hours to read 57 pages but I find it quite worrying that nobody questioned the fact this guy decided to pull over on the M5 and go to sleep. The hard shoulder is for emergencies only, they have things called Service Stations where you can sleep. I take it he has never seen a 44 tonne lorry wonder onto the hard shoulder before whilst travelling flat out. Instant death

greenface

If Mr J says it happened it happened

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Kappish !!!!! Tussshhhhh newbies to this thread dont know owt !!

peaceandfreedom

LudaMusser wrote: »

Unfortunately I don`t have se7en hours to read 57 pages but I find it quite worrying that nobody questioned the fact this guy decided to pull over on the M5 and go to sleep. The hard shoulder is for emergencies only, they have things called Service Stations where you can sleep. I take it he has never seen a 44 tonne lorry wonder onto the hard shoulder before whilst travelling flat out. Instant death

Good point, never even noticed that particular aspect. Thing is, the OP has painted this guy to be such a lunatic, nothing he does would surprise you. And since the whole thing is made up anyway ..... does it really matter if an entirely imaginary person gets run over by an imaginary 10-ten-truck?

RacyRed

LudaMusser wrote: »

Unfortunately I don`t have se7en hours to read 57 pages but I find it quite worrying that nobody questioned the fact this guy decided to pull over on the M5 and go to sleep. The hard shoulder is for emergencies only, they have things called Service Stations where you can sleep. I take it he has never seen a 44 tonne lorry wonder onto the hard shoulder before whilst travelling flat out. Instant death

Read the thread, then you will understand.

And it is sooooo worth the time. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: