Buyers are camped in our garden over Christmas

peaceandfreedom

JonathanA wrote: »

This has probably been the best thread on MSE for years! However, it always did have a bit of a shelf life as there are only so many twists and turns that can happen when moving house, and these have pretty much all happened.

Given the number of injuries, deaths etc that have befallen those involved, I just hope that Mr & Mrs J are both healthy and well...

Thanks for a brilliant thread.

Agree entirely. I don't believe a word of it but it was all so hilarious - so many laugh-out-loud moments and you don't get that a lot these days. Loved it.

Please thejonesfamily, do keep on writing, so many of us have just loved this thread. :T

peaceandfreedom

maninthestreet wrote: »

The only thing I'm jealous of is the amount of time the OP apparently has on his hands to make-up this stuff.

I do get annoyed when people say that others have 'too much time on their hands.' I gave someone a homemade cupcake beautifully wrapped and the thank-you included a 'you clearly have too much time on your hands'. It's another way of saying 'You clearly have nothing better to do' or 'You are clearly not as busy as me'.

Strangely enough, I have 24 hours in each day, just like everyone else. Different people choose to spend their time in different ways, that's all.

I guess the OP puts his time to more creative use than the rest of us.

emidee

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Please thejonesfamily, do keep on writing, so many of us have just loved this thread. :T

I'd settle for a sequel....what about a trilogy, Mr Jones? :j

Please?!

greenface

theres more to come here . Mr J hasnt finished with all this , remember be warned

RacyRed

NMJ might not be upsating us because he is too busy with it all happening, IYSWIM

I wonder if he has been able to move into the new house yet. Wasn't it meant to be today?

loracan1

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

I do get annoyed when people say that others have 'too much time on their hands.' I gave someone a homemade cupcake beautifully wrapped and the thank-you included a 'you clearly have too much time on your hands'. It's another way of saying 'You clearly have nothing better to do' or 'You are clearly not as busy as me'.

Strangely enough, I have 24 hours in each day, just like everyone else. Different people choose to spend their time in different ways, that's all.

I guess the OP puts his time to more creative use than the rest of us.

These were much my thoughts when I read that comment yesterday - unless someone is working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, they have "time on their hands". I can think of less productive ways than keeping countless numbers of people amused.

(and I'm always gratefully humble to receive a gift that's taken the giver's time, thought and effort)

kborom

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Strangely enough, I have 24 hours in each day, just like everyone else. Different people choose to spend their time in different ways, that's all.

Very well put, my thoughts entirely.

Great thread, my favourite was the pearl necklace incident and the OP's innocent retort:D:D

biggaz26

I fear we have seen the last of this storry...However I will, when it is released, by the book!

You heard it here first!!

G

thejonesfamily

Sorry for the delay guys. I have been ill with Fl this week and we have been down to devon for a few days and we have moved into our home, albeit ona rental basis until we hopefully complete in 2 weeks now that probate is near.

So I will update you bit by bit. If there are gaps it is because i was in bed ill or dying on the sofa.

The dinner party

Believe me 7 days does not weaken the memory

Mrs J and I rocked up at our old house at 7pm as asked, we brought pudding and some wine as you do and a tree for the garden which we thought would be a nice memorial plant for Enith.

She wasnt in.

The camper was gone, so I assumed he must have gone back to Devon or whereever. As Mrs C doesnt drive, we thought it odd, but we decided to go and fill up with petrol to save us doing it on the way home.

We came back and there was a light on so we knocked. Mrs C apologised and said she got talking to the lady who lives over the road. "she can half gas on" she said. I asked which lady it was and she said "ohMrs Dover". We didnt really talk to her much when we lived there, but her son Ben used to come and wash our car. Mrs C commented on Mrs Dover being a bit religious and then it dawned on us that she was the Jehovah lady we kept avoiding; and probably wasnt used to being knocked on her door for a chat. I noticed Mrs C had a Watchtower magazine on the side where she used to keep the recorder so I guessing Mrs D was trying to convert Mrs C.

Anyway, the kitchen lights were turned off which we thought wa sa little odd when coming over for dinner. I dont expect my host to go over the top, but to have a dinner in the oven and signs of life in there would have been nice.

So we sat in our old dining room/mortuary admiring the horrendous picture of a cat with wet spikey hair in a cra ppy gold frame when a man popped his head round the door. "Im Dave" said the man. Now he had a thick west country accent and he disappeared into the living room. So imagine the scene, Mrs J and I are sat in this room alone wondering what next.

Well , despite watching many episodes of Come Dine with Me, I am yet to see the hostess arrive at the dinner table having just got dressed into her Winnie the Pooh pajamas.To think i even bothered to straighten my hair and spray a bit of Tiffany Sport for this dinner.

Mrs J sat down and asked us what we wanted for dinner and then thanked us for the tree we brought. A bit perplexed we said we would have whatever was going and she said, "oh theoven is broke" I was hoping you would nip down the Chinese.

So half elated at having a decent cooked meal and half annoyed i would go and get it, Mrs J called out to Dave and asked him what he wanted, So armed with their list we went off to her last words "dont forget the receipt".

After about 45 minutes of watching some satellite chinese tv beamed in to a 1970's TV we came back nd knocked on the door. Silence. Strange, so we knocked again. Nothing,

So I said to Mrs J,"hold on here with the food, I will nip round the back and knock on the window"

Well. The kitchen light was on and I wasnt quite prepared for the sight I saw. Put it this way, Mrs C was being treated like a human wheelbarrow with farmer Dave doing the driving. Poor winnie the pooh, ti ts down on the kitchen floor.

Stunned, I just kept watching. I couldnt believe it. Mrs J must have knocked loudly on the front door because Dave made a quick exit and Mrs C got up quickly and run a tea towel on the floor.

I sped round to the front and Dave must have seen me run round as she looked awfully embarrased.

Anyway, Mrs C brought in the plates from the oven on the very tea towel she mopped the floor with. I made sure they took the top and bottom plates and Mrs J was wondering why i was kicking her under the table for taking a plate.

So we sat there and ate in an awful silence until Mrs C said "oh, did you get a receipt" I said "yes, would you like it" "Oh no" replied Mrs C "Dave went down there last week and got overcharged so I was going to suggest to you that you made sure they didnt rip you off as well".

Right ok then, I repled.

So we had a general chat about our living arrangements etc and the dog. Mrs C had been sufering with Flu. I decided to ask about Mr C. Oh, he is in hospital retorted Mrs C stuffing a pork ball in her mouth.

"Hospital, I replied.

Yes, he had an accident in the camper

Turns out since the showdown evening which by all account went to plan, Mr C has been living rough in his camper. He came back to get a few bits from the house and returned to Devon after a failed attempt to reconcile.

TO BE CONTINUED - WE HAVE RUN OUT OF DOG FOOD AND I NEED TO GO TO THE SHOP AND GET DINNER AS WELL. WILL FINISH OFF TOMORROW.

Kaz2904

Nooooooo! You can't leave it on a cliff hanger like that!