Advice about picky eaters...

chatnoir

Nicki wrote: »

But the adults posting about their pickiness don't claim to have any underlying issues just an unresolved issue from their childhood.

Your post is unnecessarily aggressive. I too have an autistic child and I understand that you have had struggles with eating due to your own child's presentation. However, there is nothing at all to suggest that the child in the OP has issues like your or my ASD children do, and therefore it is reasonable to suggest that for the good of their own child that they attempt to address the issue now using valid child rearing techniques.

Not sure its "unresolved issues from childhood" I have no idea where my food issues stem from....I had never heard of dysphrxia? but googled it and I know I dont have that either...I am just a fussy eater.... It does cause some awkawardness but nothing that would stop me living my day to day life how I want to. I still go to restuarants and to friends for dinner, but I just dont look forward to it as much the next person.

OP I think def get your little one checked for dysphraxia as one child already has it. But it could just be down to who they are. The best thing is to let them get on with it, my mum never panadered to my pickyness but if i didnt eat the meal put in front of me then I didn't eat and didn't do me any harm...I am more of little and often eater anyways and never finish a meal...so maybe instead of doing Breakfast, lunch and dinner just offer him small picky foods instead...like a bowl or grapes, carrot sticks, toasts, sandwiches etc through out the day.Sometimes the social situation of sitting at a table and eating a full meal can be a bit much sometimes.

hope you get something figured out for him

Nicki

Sorry if I sounded a bit blunt. A lifelong disability is probably a bit harsh, but looking at what some posters have said on this and other threads about not being able to go out for a meal with colleagues, dreading eating out with friends, gagging if a dish contains onions or not being able to eat chips unless the ends are straight, that's not what I would want for my child growing up if it could be avoided. Nor do I imagine it's a lot of fun for the partners or family of the adults who have these issues. Obviously some people have allergies or food intolerances which make life hard for them in these circumstances, and a few may have issues such as ChrissyG's child, and that is the life they have to lead. However, for those children who don't have this to contend with, I still think its better to try to address food phobias or pickiness when they are little if this can be done, as this will stand them in such good stead when they are older.

Incidentally, I knew someone who would only eat chips and baked beans and nothing else at all. He was perfectly healthy and a very bright chap, but it did really hinder him socially and in his professional life. It's amazing how important a life skill it is to be able to eat out socially and how much adults are judged if they aren't able to do it.

eamon

My colleague at work (59yo man) never eats vegetables, however will drink a veg soup, fruit wise will only eat bananas and that isn't very often. I would say that he isn't particularly healthy, has had a heart attack and stents fitted, uses lots of drugs to maintain his blood pressure & quality and other drugs that combat cholesterol. I couldn't say if that is the outcome of a lifetimes rubbish diet or genetics as another colleague has eaten a very balanced diet for decades, barely drinks has never smoked, isn't overweight, yet he has a constant battle with high cholesterol.

I'm sure that there are numerous scientific studies that demonstrate the long term benefits of a good balanced diet. Nevermind the TV shows. But I can imagine that for a parent it is extremely difficult to be constantly on guard against the wildly available quick & easy feeding solutions especially when faced with a screaming child.

I fear that the OP will have many nasty times ahead.

Primrose

Getting him involved in some simple cookery might help change his attitude towards food.
Also, try growing a few vegetables in your garden, either in a tiny plot, or in some containers. If he's been involved in the process it might help to change the way he sees food.
You could perhaps start now by growing some sprouting seeds on some damp tissue, or beansprouts in a jar and getting him to eat small quantities by weaving bedtime stories around items of food, turning them into little people who have lives of their own.
As a very small child I was paranoic about not eating tomato seeds as I hated the mucuus type stickiness around them until my grandmother made up a story about them, calling them "naughty boys" who got gobbled up by little children when they misbehaved and did things like running off the plate or slipping out of a sandwich Once I was granted a controlling part in "disciplining the naughty boys" so that they had to spend time inside my tummy, they no longer instilled any horror in me.

Indie_Kid

I agree with Primrose - allow him to help out with the cooking.

Has he been tested for food allergies?

Mely

JodyBPM wrote: »

I'm another one that is confused by a FOUR year old having a tantrum about a kinder egg, and yet still being rewarded with it! My children at FOUR wouldn't have dreamt of having tantrums, and certainly wouldn't have been rewarded for them! At the first sign of a tantrum the egg would have been removed, never to be returned, and they'd be doing time out for bad behaviour!

I do think you need to work out whether you have a child with genuine eating issues, or simply a child who is ruling the roost and demanding things as HE wants all the time, and being given in to.

Personally, I have always simply given the children their dinners and expected them to eat them. If they choose not to, then they are offered nothing else instead. As a result, I have 4 year old and a 5 year old who eat pretty much everything. DD doesn't like hardboiled eggs, and DS doesn't like tuna, spinach or kale, but they eat everything else.

Its going to be much harder to change his habits if he's been used to having it all his own way for the last 4 years though! I'd gradually start introducing stuff he's not previously eaten alongside stuff he does.

As a parent, I am sure you will find it hard to watch him refusing to eat, but children don't starve themselves to death! If they are hungry, they will eat. And if they learn that if they don't eat what is put in front of them they won't get anything else, then they will eat!

If you don't see any improvements at all in a month or two of doing this, then I would speak to a GP as he may have some genuine food issues.

The voice of reason- thank you!:T

moneysavingideas

Our son was very fussy when it came to food when he was younger so we just found something he liked (ie: cheese sandwiches and bananas) and gave that to him all the time. Eventually he started demanding other food because he just got sick of it and now (later in his life) he can't stand to eat those 2 things.

I hope that this helps you out.

JBD

Mely wrote: »

The voice of reason- thank you!:T

Purely out of interest, how long would you advise allowing a child to not eat before 'pandering' to them as you said in an earlier post?

Mely

JBD wrote: »

Purely out of interest, how long would you advise allowing a child to not eat before 'pandering' to them as you said in an earlier post?

A child wont starve.They eat when their hungry:)

JBD

Mely wrote: »

A child wont starve.They eat when their hungry:)

Unfortunately some children do starve themselves. My son didn't feel hunger. Thankfully I listened to the advice of a health professional.