'I love you but I love ME more' Souk's 2011 diary

Lula-Hula

Hope a bit of ironing has cheered you up, it's easy to get bogged down with stuff when weather is rubbish.

It's been grey & cloudy all day here & I am happy to confess that I am still in my pjs' . Once DD has gone off to her club I'll be doing a workout & then having a bath though so wont be scuzzy for a whole 24 hours .

Occasionally we do need to spend a bit of time reflecting on where to go next & I've been doing that a lot too & finally think I know where I'm going.

I fully applaud more lippy & toe polish - even though I dont get 'seen' much when at work, I sometimes love to dress up in a 'look' just for the fun of it .

You are truly fabulous & dont be forgetting it :A

Oooh I'm off for a rummage in the wardrobe now to see what else I can throw out / come up with
xx

MrsMoo2U

Souk, that makes sense now.

I want to say thankyou. I read your post just before I was heading out for lunch and the two clips cheered me up no end. So instead of just wandering off to the bank in town in my jeans I got myself dressed up and put on some lipstick. I am feeling all yeuch and bloaty too today but I am still sitting here in my nicest mons**n skirt and lovely little "doris day" style cardi so I am feeling rather good now.

I will take a leaf out of your book and sort out my eating plan for the next month. Back to my vegan detoxing and body brushing I think. We do deserve to feel fab.

gilligansyle

Just get your lippy on, your gladrags out, and get yourself out and about with your friends. Once you know where your future lies it will be easier.

se999

Sorry if it's paraphasing wrongly, I think it was a Pania mse quote that you don't appreciate the mountains unless you've been in the valleys. It's normal to have peaks and troughs, and you don't appreciate the highs if you don't have at least some of the lows.

Souk08

Ah exactly se and I am well aware that a generally very perky and up person like me will always have some downs to counteract it. Had a fab meal tonight with a mate who feels like a bit of an outsider too and we realised we are both on the same page, as I am with lots of you so thanks again and tits and teeth, fake it til we make it!!! Cheri, I met a friend a few days after her mum had died. When she got to our meeting point she confessed that she'd 'only washed her hair as it was me' and that that was a good thing. Feeling SOOOOO much better X

MrsMoo2U

Glad that you were feeling better. As Se says it is good to have a wallow from time to time. Life would be too hard if we were up all the time.

Karmacat

Hey Souk, glad you're feeling better - omigod, that clip of Liza Minnelli is *fantastic* - that whole film was my mantra for years - makes me wonder where that went, though I have started to take more chances again recently, and upped my game physically too.

You've got me wondering about fitting in, especially with this bit that you wrote:

Souk08 wrote: »

The girls I met at that job were lovely and I fitted. I deffo dont fit where I am, much as I like it and am good at it. I dont want a life that would make me fit in but it does get a bit tedious at times always being the outsider.

Do you think fitting in is bad per se? Or were there other things about that place that made it a no-no? Fitting in and finding/having a peer group is something I'm exploring right now, it would be really helpful to know your thoughts on this.

When people who dont particularly get my family ask my mum about us she answers that we 'Live our lives in glorious technicolour'.

This is sensational :j:j:j

Souk08

It's payday :j:j:j

Woo hoo! Bought some perfume today and a few pieces for work. LOADS on this month so just relooked the budget and wont aim to save anything this time around so I can enjoy my sisters visit/my friends wedding.

KC no I think there's nothing wrong with fitting in at all but I dont want the sort of life that seems to automatically make that happen ie static, settled and (whispers) not that exciting. It's where I am now that I dont feel I fit, much though I like it. The girls are quite sensible and inflexible about moving and doing different things with their lives at different times. Thats absolutely fine but I cant personally aspire to that as Ive always needed a lot of excitement and plans in my life. One who is only 24 was lamenting not having a career and man sorted. I just dont get that as for me the fun is changing things and seeing what happens next. Life is short but its also long if you get stuck in something restrictive. Im NOT criticising anyone elses choices BTW and never would, just saying what I feel and what works for me.

Work was very busy today so am just enjoying a Pinot Noir tonight with the telly. It's grand X

lionheartedgirl

there are girls like that at my work and it does my head in! :mad: totally devoted to blokes that treat them like !!!! and moaning about jobs that aren't taking them anywhere, while spending all day on the internet and not being willing to put any effort in. not all of them of course, but grrr it drives me potty.

I am finding my way gradually but being deeply, deeply honest with myself, I doubt any of my real true-to-me choices will be fitting the mould either. I can't blinking wait

hope you feel a bit more chipper soon Souk, enjoy the vino and was v interested to hear of your interview with the purveyor of fine clothes a la hypno - my working wardrobe for the job i didn't stay at came from there. cost me an absolute fortune but didn't regret a penny of it. well, pound of it. that shop doesn't really worry about pennies in terms of pricing how are things on the job front, have you had any offers? xx

makeup

I think sometimes that fitting in at work has as much to do with the people as with their circumstances.

In my last workplace I worked with two women who led very different lives to me. Both were married with kids and had very family-orientated lives. They didn't really do the same sort of things as me and we didn't have lots in common. However we all shared a sense of humour, a sense of caring and kindness for each other and lots and lots of respect.

They loved that I went out a lot and would marvel at staying out past 10pm on a school night!! and were always asking about it and equally I loved hearing about their kids and what they were up to.

We still go out for lunch occasionally as my old office isn't far from my new and we exchange emails and the like.

In a different way one of my favourite jobs was working in the box office of a big arts centre. It was a pretty menial job but all the staff had an interest in the arts in one way or another (lots of part time artists, musicians, writers, actors etc) and so we were always going out to see plays, films, art galleries, music etc and we would have big conversations about what we'd seen or recommend (we weren't pretentious though honest...we also did our fair share of after work drinks!) I left there over 2 years ago but am really good friends with 2 people from there and probably seem them once or twice a month and another 5 -6 I probably see every few months. So I fit in really well and it totally made the job, without that I'd have left well before!!

I've done plenty of jobs though and have definitely worked with people who make you feel like a freak for having a social life (oooh aren't you out a lot...or on holiday AGAIN?!) and I've had my fair share of matchmaking colleagues as well....er no thanks!

I think the work environment has a massive impact on your enjoyment of the job so I hope you find a workplace soon that you get some of sparkle back from rather than finding it draining xx