Real life MMD: Should I buy the girlfriend a present?

edited 21 December 2010 at 7:01PM in Money Saving Polls
53 replies 13.9K views
Former_MSE_PenelopeFormer_MSE_Penelope Former MSE
536 Posts
edited 21 December 2010 at 7:01PM in Money Saving Polls
Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
Should I buy the girlfriend a present?

My wealthy uncle can never be bothered to buy us gifts for Christmas. Last year his girlfriend bought all the Christmas presents with his money and took the credit for it, gushing about how good her ideas were. So we felt we had to get her a present as well as for him. I know she's doing the same thing this year but I'm on a budget and I don't really want to get her another present. I don't want it to cause a fuss though.
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  • emideeemidee Forumite
    71 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
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    Can you get them a 'joint' present, seeing as they've both had input into the gifts they gave you? (her ideas / effort & his cash).

    (Edited to say that without the girlfriend being around, I wouldn't buy your Uncle a gift - seeing as he's financially capable of doing so and yet can't be bothered).
  • I think, now that you've started buying her presents last year, that you need to continue. Or buy them a joint pressie. If you buy for her one year, but not the next, it seems like you've not got her one purposely. I'd go with the joint token present.
  • Sorry, but you should be buying a present for someone because you want to - not because you felt you had to. And why shouldn't she take the credit - she put the thought into what to get you, whereas your uncle didn't. Okay she used 'his' money - but if they're a couple why is it 'his' money?
    Why do you not want to buy her a gift? Yet presumably you'll consider buying one for the wealthy uncle who can't be bothered?
    If you're on a budget - get her something that fits the budget or have the decency to explain that you can't afford it, but don't get one for him and not her. It's just mean spirited. Is there more to this than you're telling - do you resent her for being with him and sharing in his good fortune?
  • I can't think of any reason not to get her a gift. Many wives and girlfriends buy the Christmas gifts for their other halves families - why does it matter to you who bought it? They have obviously been a couple for over a year, so should get a gift. If you're short of cash buy a joint gift or a token gesture.
    MSE aim: more thanks than posts :j
  • I agree that you can't not include her if you're buying for your Uncle. But, if you are on a budget, then just explain it and say that you're sorry but can't buy for them this year. This issue should have been tackled before now not left until the last minute too.

    I'm on a very tight budget and can only just afford to buy for my nieces and nephews. I explained it to the adults and said not to buy for me either. We've all agreed that this is the best way to go and there'll be no embarrassment on the day. I then explained a little of this to the eldest children and said that they will all be getting something, just not what I usually do. They were fine about it as I expected they would be. After all, Christmas isn't about how much you spend, but who you spend it with.
    :j I'm not supposed to be normal, I'm supposed to be me:j
    :dance: Quidco cash back since May 2010 ~ more than £83.13 :dance:
    Must remember to use it more, but every little helps
  • The upside of now being divorced and having almost no contact with my previous family is that I no longer receive grotty presents and don't buy any. I also tell friends and relations not to send me cards through the post - but they ignore my pleas. I would rather phone a relative for a chat than send a card - much more friendly methinks - or am I just tight?:rotfl:
  • edited 22 December 2010 at 1:53AM
    moneysavingkittenmoneysavingkitten Forumite
    576 Posts
    edited 22 December 2010 at 1:53AM
    I also tell friends and relations not to send me cards through the post - but they ignore my pleas. I would rather phone a relative for a chat than send a card - much more friendly methinks - or am I just tight?:rotfl:

    Nope don't think your tight at all, I feel the same. I would rather a friend or relative has something to say, or has 5 mins for a chat than sent me a card which usually doesn't even have a message in it apart from the printed one.

    If I feel the need to send someone a card, I usually make it, cause there isn't really anything personal about sending a pre-printed card, even if it does look primary school.

    I would also go for the joint present if you can afford it though. The girlfriend obviously wants to be included and makes an effort, whereas the uncle doesn't so I agree if you only got one present for one of them, it should be the girlfriend not the uncle. Why should you buy someone something just because you are related to them?
    So so SO tired of being ripped off, and mislead
    Hope sharing saves some pain.
  • jax1305 wrote: »
    Sorry, but you should be buying a present for someone because you want to - not because you felt you had to. And why shouldn't she take the credit - she put the thought into what to get you, whereas your uncle didn't. Okay she used 'his' money - but if they're a couple why is it 'his' money?
    Why do you not want to buy her a gift? Yet presumably you'll consider buying one for the wealthy uncle who can't be bothered?
    If you're on a budget - get her something that fits the budget or have the decency to explain that you can't afford it, but don't get one for him and not her. It's just mean spirited. Is there more to this than you're telling - do you resent her for being with him and sharing in his good fortune?
    i agree with this wholeartedly
  • recycle present from her to you last year - wrap all presents in newspaper with rough string to tie - or some of the many red elastic bands dropped by postpeople and now all over the pavements - doesn't cost anything - looks like its a feature. Otherwise, its' the thought that counts, so think of a present and tell them about it on the day.
  • Sounds like you are sucking up to the uncle because he has money. Why else would you buy him something when he cannot be bothered to buy anything for you. But remember, the girlfriend, went to the time and effort of getting your gifts.

    Be grateful!

    Buy a joint present, and appreciate the effort she made for you!
    We spend money we don't have, on things that we don't need, to impress people we don't like. I don't and I'm happy!
    :dance: Mortgage Free Wannabe :dance:
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