Am I Going to Jail?

cola_bottle

whipped wrote: »

Thanks to all who have replied. I understand that some may say that I am bad and have been negligent too.

I am not trying to play victim or feel sorry for myself either, never have or will........but until you are or have been in a situation like me you will never know how difficult it is. This may sound the cruelest thing in the world to say but I honestly and truly do not have any feelings for this child. I have tried so hard for so long to try and make myself feel something but nothing is there.

Maybe there is no excuse for what I have done but I am being honest. For the first 7 years I tried everything I could to compromise, and it resulted in nothing. You will never understand being in an asian family that when so many people get involved and start to take sides how bad things can get. I blame my parents for putting me through this, mostly my father...........and at the end of the day yes the child is the real victim but it did not have to be like this if it was not for my x and other family members.


I am going to the CAB tomorrow to see what they advise as it is about time this comes to some kind of end. I always told my x that I would be happy to see the child but she always said that only if I got back with her, then I would have to apply to the courts to see him.

I refused to get embroiled in any legal action as that is what she wanted so this could drag on forever, yes the child suffered but not because of me. I am sick to death of all the fighting and everyone using each other and playing minds, this stress killed my nan and that is why this mess has reached this far.

This is not a case of me being irresponsible or bad to the child, as there is a much bigger picture behind what has happened, ok for people to judge but until your in this situation no one will know how it feels.

I am not one to play victim, far from it. Just have had enough of everyone taking advantage that's all

WOW! I didn't think I would, but I can see where you're coming from.
Regardless of what you don't feel you still have a legal responsibility to contribute.

whipped

Thanks kimi and cola, appreciate support and advice. I will be writing to the CSA as I have been advised to get the hearing transferred to my local court. I need to write them a letter and send special delivery today and request copies of all assessment notifications, full break down of arrears.

I must turn up the hearing that is a must and if I have not received all this info by then I have to request the court for an adjournment. I have received some very good advice from this site NACSA.

whipped

cola_bottle wrote: »

WOW! I didn't think I would, but I can see where you're coming from.
Regardless of what you don't feel you still have a legal responsibility to contribute.

I know cola I have a legal responsibility and never claimed I did not, but sometimes circumstances are out of ones hands and I have now learned how to deal with life in a better way.

Voyager2002

whipped wrote: »

If I needed some advice on cultural & eligious issues I would have posted on a different thread or forum.

I did not take your comments as being racist just plain ignorant and dumb which had no relevance or meaning to my question posted, so thanks all the same.

I hope you saw the earlier part of my post, which offered practical advise on managing the problems you face.

Kimitatsu

whipped wrote: »

Thanks kimi and cola, appreciate support and advice. I will be writing to the CSA as I have been advised to get the hearing transferred to my local court. I need to write them a letter and send special delivery today and request copies of all assessment notifications, full break down of arrears.

I must turn up the hearing that is a must and if I have not received all this info by then I have to request the court for an adjournment. I have received some very good advice from this site NACSA.

I am pleased that you have found support sometimes it just needs a point of reference for you to see the woods for the trees.

Keep us posted as to how things are going and take care of yourself.

seven-day-weekend

I hope that you can get things sorted out in a way that is fair for you and for your son.

I have seen a little bit of the sort of thing that you say about your family's actions, so understand that it is not always as cut and dried as people think it is. A relation of mine married out of her culture (she is white British) and has been happily married for twelve years, but many of her husband's family will not speak to her or acknowledge her children.:( The husband's sister has tried to get her brother to divorce his wife and marry a girl from his own culture.
However, the husband's parents adore the children and treat her with respect and they are the ones she sees most, so all is not bad.

Anyway, I hope you manage to get things sorted. Please let us know how you get on.

whipped

Voyager2002 wrote: »

I hope you saw the earlier part of my post, which offered practical advise on managing the problems you face.

Thanks V, I have taken all in that everyone has advised.

whipped

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I hope that you can get things sorted out in a way that is fair for you and for your son.

I have seen a little bit of the sort of thing that you say about your family's actions, so understand that it is not always as cut and dried as people think it is. A relation of mine married out of her culture (she is white British) and has been happily married for twelve years, but many of her husband's family will not speak to her or acknowledge her children.:( The husband's sister has tried to get her brother to divorce his wife and marry a girl from his own culture.
However, the husband's parents adore the children and treat her with respect and they are the ones she sees most, so all is not bad.

Anyway, I hope you manage to get things sorted. Please let us know how you get on.

Thanks again kimi and SDW for your support help and advice.

That is the problem when family members interfere, mostly they make matters 100 worse than they are. If the husband and wife are happy then it is not anyones business but I was never happy from day one.

I do not have any regrets apart from making the biggest mistake of my life in marrying against my wishes just to please family members.

Thank you.

whipped

I have a very important question to ask. I have been going through my paperwork and have noticed the sums that the CSA are claiming and have noticed that my x and the CSA have been adding carer allowance of £53.05 to the child maintenance that I owe.

The child was born in Dec 1996 and I do not know how much CM I have to pay, but is it correct that I have to pay for carer allowance too as this has been added on top of the CM and also been backdated?

If my x is claiming carer allowance from me who is she caring for? As there is only her & the child living together?

Could this mean the the CSA have incorrectly calculated the debt? Is my x entitled to claim carer allowance from me on top of CM?


The latest letter from CSA states that the liability order will cover the period between 12 Dec 2000 and 25 Dec 2010. The child was born in Dec 1998, so what is happening here?
This is whey have claimed and backdated;

Total child allowance; £26.60
Carer Allowance; £53.05
Premiums; £14.50

Total; £80.45 a week

CSA letter dated 10 November 2005 reads that they have worked out that £80.45 a week must be paid from 05/06/2001.

kelloggs36

As the child has been proven to be yours, you only need worry about whether the figures used are correct. With arrears this high, there are 2 possibilities - that you have not provided them with your income details and they have imposed an IMA cat A OR your income is very high - can you please confirm which it is? Have you supplied all your income details to the CSA?